All comics by LoveRocket

Profile

 

by LoveRocket
2-23-03
Help!
Oh no, I forgot the explosives
Well, I could just do it myself
Don't bother, wait there!
Too late, I'm almost done
I was just kidding about the explosives, I meant virgins

 

by LoveRocket
2-23-03
I am the Salsa King, with a cup of salsa at my side I shall begin my adventure
Why must all the girl birds judge me simply by the size of my cage?
Welcome to the gates of hell, what is the password?
Wait, I know it...hold on...ah yes, ACDC!
No asshole, you forgot the lightning bolt...DIE!
Save the salsa!

 

by LoveRocket
2-23-03
I play for you Jesus
...Waaaahh, fuck the police, fuck the police...
You are wrong my son
The rocking doesn't stop
Damnit...this is COPS, the reality show, you're not supposed to have a shirt on
...Waaaaah, fuck the police, fuck the police...

 

by LoveRocket
2-23-03
Oh fuck, here comes that psycho whore
Oh shit the acid is kicking in!
I'm morphing!
...
still moprhing

 

by LoveRocket
2-23-03
Do you want to hear a story?
Yes indeed...thank you
Okay here it goes...We were riding a train...
!!!!
...uhh...The End
!&%$#@*

 

by LoveRocket
2-23-03
Hello there little girl
Can I ask you a question?
Certainly!
Since you are Asian...do you have really dark nipples?
Not only are the dark...they are the size of dinner plates
Is that because you are Asian?...Ahh, forget it.

 

by LoveRocket
2-23-03
Listen up ladies and gentlemen...
It is time to watch the skies!!
Did you enjoy the show?
Yes...I have found the golden kitten

 

by LoveRocket
2-23-03
Gosh no...the Christmas trees have come...I knew this would happen
My patience with you trees has run dry...be gone
Okay
Be careful Jonathon...danger is afoot.
Hooray

 

by LoveRocket
2-23-03
I am Fruit Cup the clown and I have a book of recipies
Hooray
Recipe one: a fruit cup, fill small cup with fruit and poison...serve.
Recipe two: Razor Steak, ordinary steak with razor blades tucked inside!
What kind of clown are you?
A general rule of cooking is that you can hide things in any kind of food

 

by LoveRocket
2-23-03
What is it like to be a giraffe?
It feels like...
Wahooo...Panties!
Low kick...HyYah
Meanwhile, deep in the Indian Ocean...
I am from the United Kingdom
Fuck you...I don't suck dick for free

 

by LoveRocket
2-23-03
You are out on $1000 bail
...Waaaah Fuck the police, Fuck the police...
Ahh shit...that asshole "musician" is comming
I got raped in the ass for you LORD
Oh shit...the acid is kicking in
...Waaaah, Fuck the Police, Fuck the Police...

 

by LoveRocket
2-23-03
...The beginning...
Hello Someone's Girlfriend
Not much Prince...want to have sex?
Your pussy is kind of loose
I know Prince...Because I am a whore
To be continued...
Well Someone's girlfriend...we should have sex again
Okay...but I am going to deny it later

 

by LoveRocket
2-23-03
It is time to have sex again
Alright
Yeah...do you like that?
Harder...Harder
Wow Someone's Girlfriend...your pussy got tighter!
I know *giggle* I did my Kiegels all day

 

by LoveRocket
2-24-03
Definition so Part II makes sense: Kiegels - a vaginal exercise performed for "tightening"
Oh shit...your asshole boyfriend is comming
*giggle* I'm outta here *giggle*
Hello Someone...I had sex with your girlfriend
Yeah?...Prove it you fuck ass
To be continued...
No problem...here in my hand...the empty box of condoms
Owwww

 

by LoveRocket
2-24-03
I don't believe it...I'll kick your ass
Wait...did you call me fuck ass?
Yes...but I still want to kick your ass
Bring it on asshole
To be continued...
Okay...but wait til Sunday
Whatever asshole

 

by LoveRocket
2-24-03
Hey new girl...do you want to have sex?
sure
Oh shit...Someone's Girlfriend is back
*SMACK* *SMACK* I HATE YOU FOR RUINING MY RELATIONSHIP
To be continued...
But you are the one with the loose pussy
Owwwww

 

by LoveRocket
2-24-03
...Sunday Comes
Yeah...it's fight day!
...
The End
Damnit all to hell...the fucker never showed up. Oddly enough...this whole story just reminds me of giving chicks "The Shocker"

 

by LoveRocket
2-24-03
Yo Tim...thanks for letting me copy your test...my parents were happy with the grade
Fuck...he's talking to me?...Exempt my name is Timothy...can't be talking to me...but maybe he is?...so confused
Ta-taa-t-t-taa...I didn't let you copy my test
Thanks any way Tim
Reality rears its ugly head...
Umm-u-aahhh...My name is Timothy...we should hang out
Ha ha...Yeah Right!

 

by LoveRocket
2-24-03
I am Mr. Asscreme and I have a dream that someday dolphins and triceratops can live in peace
Mr. Asscreme, we already do live in peace
My dream has come true!
*COUGH* *COUGH*

 

by LoveRocket
2-24-03
The meeting...
Are you the one who holds the key?
I rekon I am
The offer...
Owww...you will not accept my gift?
Turn your sorry ass aroud
Turned down...
I have nothing to offer...except this moonrock
...But the moon is made of cheese...

 

by LoveRocket
2-24-03
Hey...15/f/lez...you?
17/f/lez!!
...I'm in love...
...I'm getting so wet...
Make me bad...
WOOAAAH!

 

by LoveRocket
2-27-03
Fuckin Mr. Rogers died
Tee hee hee
Fuckin Mr. Rogers

 

by LoveRocket
3-01-03
Boy Genius!...what are you up to now?
...Err...I am not comfortable with confrontations
I said what are you up to...did you not hear me?
Ahh...not much really...just trying to shoot out the tires on that cement mixer!
Now that's innovation!

 

by LoveRocket
3-01-03
Hello gentlemen...I know I have little to offer but I would like to join your threesome
Sorry young lady we like to keep our love triangle three sided!
Yeah

 

by LoveRocket
3-03-03
Hey it's threesome day
Eeeww...you would have to find another guy first
Eeeew
Well...clock's a tickin'...better find a hot chick real fast
Eeeww...

 

by LoveRocket
3-03-03
Die evil doer!!!
Eeeek!
Double Eeeek!
Boo!
You're such an asshole

 

by LoveRocket
3-10-03
Ouch!...not that way...it hurts
But youz be my bottom bitch
I said sausage SANDWICH, not sausage LINKS!!
I wanted to experiment a little, ya know, with the sandwich.
Have it your way, I'm leaving
But youz be my bottom bitch

 

by LoveRocket
3-10-03
Hey Johnny, your package is here
Yippie...what kind of packaging did it come with?
Ahh...those little bags that are full of air
Excellent!
Why does the packaging matter?
Duh mom...now my friends and I can punt footballs at each other's testicles!

 

by LoveRocket
3-10-03
Hello Granny, I am the angel that will be taking you to heaven, but first I must show you a magic trick!
Oh Boy!
Woaaah...extreme close up!
...
So...this is it
...and you can leave now

 

by LoveRocket
3-25-03
Well, this is my space ship...I can now take you where nobody can hurt you
Now I am the only one who can hurt you
Meh he ha
Aww...Boooo
That's what your mom said

 

by LoveRocket
3-25-03
Oh boy, here we go again
Waaah...Fuck the Police...Fuck the Police. But I would really like to discuss my feelings.
Umm...yeah. So how bout those Mets!?
I'm telling my mom
A happy Brittish humor ending...
Oh boy, here we go again
You could say that again!!

 

by LoveRocket
3-25-03
Excuse me...I'd like to get by now
Not with out a fight you wont
And who the hell do you think you are?
I'm your worst nightmare
Hmm
Arf!

 

by LoveRocket
3-25-03
Excuse me...I'd like to get by now
Not with out a fight you wont
And who the hell do you think you are?
I'm your worst nightmare
Hmm
Arf!

 

by LoveRocket
3-25-03
Who are you, and why are you cutting my hair?
Oh nuts
... ... ...
Why do they always wake up?
Captain uterus does not like to run, he prefers to sit

 

by LoveRocket
3-25-03
Just because I'm black, that doesn't mean I'm going to kill you
I would like to thank the academy and my mother...FREE TIBET!
The Host Returns
To present our next award...David Spade!

 

by LoveRocket
3-25-03
Thank you thank you...
But before I announce the winner...
The End
I'm gonna kill you white sons of bitches!

 

by LoveRocket
3-25-03
Is that a bundle of charts and graphs in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?
I don't know, allow me to check
Oooo...it's my lucky day!
Nope, it's just charts.

 

by LoveRocket
3-26-03
Your mama is so black, that when I looked at her I thought I was asleep
Ahh bibity bow!
boooo *sniffle* hooooo
Oh yeah, well your mama is so black, when she walks outside the phone rates go down!...Ahh bibity bow!

 

by LoveRocket
3-26-03
I am going to tell you a story now little girl...it is your duty to listen
That's what little girls are for
Oh no...their flooding has pilfered my harvest
Oh no...Italians!...They will pay for this
Deep in the Italian lair...
Pretty dark in these Italian lairs...this calls for sublety
Extreme sublety

 

by LoveRocket
3-26-03
I will be going to school Chicago-style today...that means you don't wear pants
Swell, I shall carry your books and pants then
Hello sir, I am the learning master
Perfect...allow me to show you a trick
Time passes...
Aye...don't look at it...don't look at it, aye.
Thusly you see, the pants come off, grades go up.

 

by LoveRocket
11-17-03
Watcha doing?
Waiting for GOD
Now, I know this Queen of hearts isn't worth much, but these four tens are keeping it company...Ha Ha Ha
I fold
Meanwhile in the desert...
Lepbabatoffle sprilantfer matgoonafle?
nope

 

by LoveRocket
11-17-03
Where
have
you
been
?
Fishing

 

by LoveRocket
11-17-03
Da dum, da dum
Da dum, da dum
Hey you two white fuckers.
What the fuck?
dAMN

 

by LoveRocket
11-17-03
I am making a movie, I need many cars...for the movie
I am a secret agent
Are you getting tired?
Yes, a little bit.
Well knock that shit off, a true genius never sleeps.
...

 

by LoveRocket
11-17-03
The adventure begins, I need to find three squirrels, two coffee mugs, and a single asian girl...
Asian girl...check
Now, on to the squirrels
success! but what about the coffee mugs?
I don't know, but I will die trying
And for my next adventure I will need cars and they must be in space and we will have a space battle

 

by LoveRocket
11-18-03
Mmk, two cheeseburgers, anything to drink?
Indeed, I think I'll try the imported green creative fuel because today is a big day
Creative fuel...ignite!
What was I here for again?...ah fuck it
Second Gear
Go hang a salami, I'm a lasagna hog

 

by LoveRocket
11-18-03
God, are you there?
Go away kid, I'm resting. I've had a rough day.
But I have a very important question I need to ask of you.
Alright, what is it?
Since I use tampons instead of pads, does that mean I'm not a virgin anymore?
Everything was created in my image right? *wink* A guy has gotta get some from time to time. You're as much of a virgin as the Pope is a jew

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