All comics by MasterMiko

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by MasterMiko
11-19-03
..those guys from PETA just don't get it.
Meat is murder man, you belong in the wild, running free!
Its not like i have much going for me. All i can do is chew, swallow and flame broil..
The reefer addict then moves up the chain of slaughterhouse command
He man, how can you justify the killing of innocent animals, just to feed hungry humans?
Who said anything about eating? i just put them in these boxes.
Finally the dirty hippy is satisfied, knowing that the animals are going to a better place...
"...two legs bad, four legs good" my ass..
..oh sweet oblivion.

 

by MasterMiko
11-19-03
A great theological debate rages on..
..And i'm saying there is no way you could possibly exist
and why is that, mortal? i made the cosmos in only six days! Your sorry ass would never have come into being without me!
.. the stakes? Gawd's lasting existance.
Have you ever looked at a box of tooth picks? What kind of omnipotent being allows directions to be printed there?
Well, uh, i guess you do have a point, that is really sad..
looks like we're going to need another diety.
man.. now i need to find something else to be moody and depressed about..

 

by MasterMiko
11-20-03
Good Lord, i've been frozen since the late nineteen eighties. The world around me has totally changed.
<...theres still one thing that I know won't have sold out, I want my MTV!
Wow, frozen for over a decade, my only solace is in knowing that there is still music out there... oh no..
...the moral of this story is this,"MTV Sucks, Carson is the Anti-Christ, and not in a good way"

 

by MasterMiko
11-22-03
A look into the Dreams of Karl..
wHat'S wiTh thAt QueEr maSk ThiNg? I mEan, ShoUldn't it hAve a ziPper aCroSs the moUth, KyLe? Well, whaTEver, jUst GiVe mE CigArReTte!
Why can't my dreams ever involve beautiful women, just once..
Karl wakes and grabs his favorite axe, theres only one way to end his tormrnt in the dream world..
Tom's existance has been a burden apon my soul for too long...
The Final Confruntation..?
Hey Kyle, whats with that gay mask, i mean where are the zippers over the mouth? well, whatever, hey can i bum a smoke?
...no, even dismemberment is too good for him...

 

by MasterMiko
11-22-03
Brad is actually a fat man in his late teens, and Miko only pretends to be goth to scare children.
..Then my car got totaled by this bus, and I quit my job, but i can still get a peice whenever I want..
Gawd Brad, I'm tired of listening to you prattle on about your major downfalls and minor victories! I have better things to do on my day off.
Whats the deal with people who where a sweatshirt with shorts?
...well, maybe not "better" in the conventional sense...
..its all realative anyway.
...or "things to do" in the conventional sense...

 

by MasterMiko
11-23-03
Why we talk "to" Alan, and not "with" Alan
*nod*nod*nod*
..and this girl was in the comic store, and she was all like "so you're into Spawn, huh?"
Once again Alan (not Allen) shows that..
*nod*nod*nod*
..and I was all "I've got a whole stack of comics right here, so I guess I must.."
..thinking is only something to occupy the time between bouncing.
Oh, sorry Miko, were you talking? Because I was thinking about a tennis ball I was playing with before.
What calibre bullet did you say your body armour can protect you from?

 

by MasterMiko
11-24-03
eww, i know it has to be King Henry XIII, he was such a slut..
Good one Barb, now its your turn
Alright, its a guy, and he's a cute little killer teddy bear who does whatever I want..
...umm..your boyfriend Alan?
Oh, good one Miko, you're really good at this!
..that poor, poor little man...

 

by MasterMiko
11-25-03
After insulting all of his friends via stripcreator.com, our hero is harangued by his underlings..
... dude Miko, how do you have room to talk?
Yeah, I mean, you work at freaking K-mart and play video games all day!
And you don't even have a girlfriend. What's up with that?
...
..yeah, thats right you guys, I said ubderlings.
..cigarette.
You say "playes video games all day" like its a bad thing.

 

by MasterMiko
11-25-03
..Somewhere in New York City... I mean, outside Matt's house
Man, I hope some one shows up with some smokes before I die from lack of cancer..
Wow, my niccotine-sense is tingling...
Did anybody call for a web slinger... I mean, can i bum a smoke, Doc Oc?
I never should have let him check out my Spidey comics...

 

by MasterMiko
11-28-03
Our Hero just found out that DnD has been cancelled, again..
..where does he get off, going to the movies with his "new friend' from work..
Yeah Miko, Alan's hetero street cred just took a nose-dive, although he does have a gf and you don't..
Hey man, we talked about that, its because i'm too much of an artis to get tied down... well, lets go back to the seclusion of the Miko-Cave.
What do you mean "secluded"? As in, somewhere nobody goes, like Canada?
Next issue, flash-back to said B-day party
Even more so, we're going to my house..
Wow, nobody but you has been there since your last, *ahem*, B-day party...

 

by MasterMiko
11-28-03
Set in Mko's parent's basement, Miko's birthday is celebrated
Man, being forced to play Warhammer? Now i remember why i didn't go to his graduation party...
I know, no wonder I'm the only girl here.. every year.
This strip introduces Pat, and Tj.
Man, this party is frickin' awesome! Free pizza, pop, and Warhammer, We definately have to start playing more.
Wow, a whole evening devoted to hanging out with friends of Miko and getting schooled at Warhammer, and they wonder why I don't talk more..
Next Episode: Something Current
Man this is the best birthday ever!
BREAKING NEWS: Pennsylvainia man living with parents celebrates 19th Birthday, in related news, Canadian tourism at an all time high..

 

by MasterMiko
12-03-03
..so to make a long story short, i just lost all my the reports i was working on, so no DnD..
wtf Miko, that is such a Barb excuse, i thought you were my real friend.
Brad's not really this much of a douche...
Well, maybe if everybody pitches in and helps me out with it, maybe we can still game...
"pitch in", Miko you talk like such a 'mo sometimes..
..but he has been know to wear shorts with a sweatshirt.
..i don't want him dead, just comatose for the rest of my life
Dude, you need to get your priorities straight, my thief making level four>you getting through college

 

by MasterMiko
12-03-03
another sad, pathetic day in Miko's parent's basement..
..so what ever happened to that Alex Winter guy, from those sweet Bill & Ted movies?
I don't know man, i think he died right after "Bogus Journey" or something..
Actually you guys, Alex Winter was in one other movie, "Freaked (1993)" before pursuing his interests in writting/ directing,>
so far he's done everything from ads for KFC to MTV's The Idiot Box to a solo feature lenghth film, Fever (1999), which has only been released in Europe
..and for the record, they were atleast fourteen.
Has he been there this whole time? I was wondering where that extra five bucks for pizza came from...
umm, i think he might have snuck in when you were outside hitting on those eleven year olds..

 

by MasterMiko
12-28-03
The great theological debate rages on..
... wait a minute, Miko, tell me one more time why you think Lord of the Rings is a direct rip off of Star Wars?
Isn't it obviouse? Gandalf is the Jedi Master, Frodo is Luke..
..this is the saddest thing I've ever heard..
..Samis C3PO, Aragorn is Han Solo, and those little hobbits are the ewoks.
Miko, you are soo smart and kewl, sometimes I wonder why you can't get a piece..
..and those elephant things are the imperial walkers..

 

by MasterMiko
1-09-04
Alright, two weeks off of work..but none of my "friends" are too busy for Miko..
..No matter, ther is still someone who has never let me down when I've needed some action..
Good ol' Playstation! Bring on the fun!
...because of the oral surgery..
-disk read error-
Hmm, where are those painkillers?

 

by MasterMiko
1-13-04
The empty seat is for Brad's "girlfriend", I've seen her in person, but I still think she is a figment of his imagination.
Ha, I'm Pat and I don't normally hang out with people who don't go to Eat'n'Park before and after every social function, but for free pop and pizza I'll pretend I like Brad.
Hey Brad, we all chipped in and got you a present, I suggested a tennis ball, because I liked mine so much,but everybody else said you'd like this better..
Man, this is the worst party ever, no booz and no Zoo Tychoon. Allen, go get me a computer and some hooch, stat.
...what would you get the guy who has everything, including tennis shoes of levitation?
Wow Brad, that sweatshirt and shorts outfit reall brings out the color of your hat.
You guys *really* shouldn't have...

 

by MasterMiko
1-15-04
So what else is new, Miko?
Oh, not much, I finally have to go back to work, its been like two weeks without having to go in. I hope I remember how to do everything.
What? Do you really think you can forget how to slack off and be rude to customers?
Its not my fault they're the lowest know form of life, is it?
The lowest? I think you forgot about LARP-ers.
Don't let Pat hear that or he'll "pipe" you down and take your gold.

 

by MasterMiko
1-25-04
this week we're going to try to teach you kids some new vocab.
I mean come on man, those first four acts sucked, I mean what was the deal with that fat lady and here hairy husband?
Brad, you really don't need to lay this jeremiad on me, i was there and i agree, it was the worste cabaret ever.
this weeks word is jeremiad
Gawd, i'm sorry Miko, i didn't realize it was all that lugubrious an utterance..
well it was, and very doleful, very. And prolonged...
Next week "Cat"
Miko, do you really think someone whocan't spell should b teaching vocabulary?
...you can still sound it out...

 

by MasterMiko
1-25-04
...it took out your whole army with one dolourous swip of its paw?
Yer right it did, Barb's cat's have to have a CR of atleast 3 apiece..
I think he lets them do it when he's losing.
Right in the middle of melee.. and what kind of mutilation did it cause to your legion of molevolent orcs?
Ruin, complete ruin. But I'll make them all pay with the saturation of a lifetime. Yes, those will be some sopping felines.
The real Allen isn't quite this bad off
You guys know that when you use big words like that it makes me uncomfortable... Barb!, saturation is like, another word for really kewl keg part, right?

 

by MasterMiko
2-11-04
so now that the place i work at isn't giving me any hours i have so much more time to pursue the only thing that really matters to me..
and what might that be? dousing helpless animals in kerosene ad watching thier flesh burn away?
umm, no thats wierd, try again.
how about selling weapons grade plutonium to the afganies?
almost, but since there are only three frames you only get two guesses. it was insulting my closest/only friends "annonomously" via a certain comic strip, on a certain internet.
stupid three frame strip, that was going to be the next thing i said.

 

by MasterMiko
5-03-04
Hi, can i help you with anything?
Yeah, you can help me figure out why your boss lets you come to work dressed like some kind of goth wierdo.
You've got a problem with the way i present myself to the community?
All i'm saying is that you only interact with 20% of the community, so consider the impression you have on the other 80% that judge you by appearances alone.
Hmm... i think you should consider the impression my size 10&1/2 patent leather boots are going to make on your ass when i drag you out to the curb.

 

by MasterMiko
3-05-06
so far
so whats the deal miko? are you finally comming back out of retirement or what?
i wasn't retired, i already told you once-
so good
i was on an important mission trip to guatamala. helping ...kids
so what?
and i already told you- you're full of shit
lokk, i already told the peace corp girls and i think they believed it, so back off...

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