All comics by Mella

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by Mella
4-06-01
MY GOD! What kind of hideous calamity has happened here?
It's ok, little dog, I do not feel the pain.
good.

 

by Mella
4-06-01
DARE YOU MOCK ME, CHILD?!
Heh heh heh!
WHY DO YOU MOCK ME SO, CHILD?!
Heh heh heh!
WHY YOU LITTLE...
Heh heh heh!

 

by Mella
4-06-01
Man...
THIS WAY TO THE FIGHT, MY FINE FRIEND!
...and his incescent...
Are you completely sure?
...lust for war
Yes, I can smell the blood from here.

 

by Mella
4-06-01
Say, friend, you aint like no goddam donkey I ever seen before, and no mistake!
Tit.

 

by Mella
4-06-01
The squirrel! One of nature's furriest rodents...
Yup...
...looks like a murder alright...
wow...
Yup...

 

by Mella
4-06-01
LOOK UPON ME FOR I AM YOUR WORST NIGHTMARE!
No you're not.

 

by Mella
4-06-01
One day, in the middle of the United States of America, this happened...
Look, missy I didn't mean to do that to your husband, it was an accident!
I hope she knows I only hurt him cos I love her and want to be with her...
God this man is sexy...

 

by Mella
4-07-01
Can I open them yet?
not yet... go on... now!
You call this a surprise?

 

by Mella
4-07-01
JESUS! A represent atheism, and as as such I am the new religion, now bow at my feet!
Well I would, small dog, but I am busy dying for your sins.
Hmmmm... ok, maybe later then.
git.

 

by Mella
4-07-01
SATAN! I need to sell my soul! I want a speedboat!
Large blue bird, you have no soul to sell...
...however, I will happily accept half a dozen eggs.
Wow... and can I still have a speedboat?
Yes, but only a small one.

 

by Mella
4-07-01
Can love ever blossom between computer and robot?
Eh?

 

by Mella
4-07-01
Do you ever get the feeling people use us a lot just because we're the two default characters when you make a comic?
hmmmm...
My god!
Hahahahahahahahaha!

 

by Mella
4-07-01
HAHAHAHAHA! I represent science, and therefore I am the new religion! What do you say to that, boy?
When you've been hung from a cross by your wrists come back to me and say that again. Until that time, bugger off.
B-b-b-b-b-b-but! I've got a degree!!!!!!!
fool.

 

by Mella
4-07-01
I AM SATAN! As you hang from that ridiculous wooden structure, I stride the world like a huge striding monster, laying waste to everything in my path! Mwahahahahahaha!
If that is true, oh foul one, why are you here taunting me, and not off striding?
Er... I'll be off in a minute...
tit.

 

by Mella
4-07-01
Hello Jesus! I am a grey alien, and I represent a new age religion, based on a widespread belief in the unexplained, forged by an increasing disbelief in YOU!
No, people believe in you because they watched the X-files. And no-one watches that any more.
That's not true! My mum watches it!
idiot.

 

by Mella
4-07-01
Vulture! Do not eat me!
I will not eat you, skeleton, because you have no meat on your haggard bones!
Fascist!

 

by Mella
4-07-01
Clive... are we indentical in every way?
Everyone says that, but if you look carefully you can see we're different in every way.
Oh yeah,,,

 

by Mella
4-07-01
RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
DO YOU THINK YOU SCARE ME, ROBOT?!
I thought so, but now I am not so sure.
Too right.

 

by Mella
4-07-01
Oooooooh what have you got for me, little soldier?
I see... but maybe I'm not ready for such commitment.

 

by Mella
4-07-01
PEOPLE OF AMERICA! I GEORGE W BUSH, YOUR GREAT AND COMPLETELY DEMOCRATICALLY ELECTED LEADER, HAVE A MESSAGE FOR YOU ALL!...
Blah blah blah
DARE YOU MOCK ME, MAGIC MICROPHONE?!
I'm as much President as you are. Blah blah blah.
Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

 

by Mella
4-07-01
Hello is this the invisible man conference?
No this is ths scary red robot conference. The invisible man conference is next door.
Thanks... excuse me, can I have your phone number?
Certainly...

 

by Mella
4-11-01
Little man what are you doing with that nail?
Fuck off, robot, I'm 16! I can do what I want!
That's better!
Gnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn!
Later that day...
You have done well.
Thank you, o lord!

 

by Mella
6-09-01
Hey Slim I got a poster of you on my fridge. I love you Slim I want to have your kids. I'm writing you a letter I'm using a postage stamp. I got it from the post office I went in there up a ramp
I got a picture of you stapled to my spice rack. I got a poster of you I stuck it up with blu tac. Slim let's be together I'll kill my wife Dido. We could have a small dog I think I'd call it Fido
For real!
Hey stan bugger off you really are mad. Don't kill yer wife it'd be motherfuckin sad. Don't get all weird Stan when yer feelin down. By the way I'm not Eminem, I'm a badly drawn clown.

 

by Mella
12-21-02
Then one foggy Christmas Eve, Santa came to say...
Rudolph, with your nose so bright, will you guide my sleigh tonight?
No. Eff orf, grandad.

 

by Mella
12-21-02
Ho ho ho! And what do you want for Christmas, little boy?
Jesus.
What?!!!
Yes. Jesus. Our lord.
But that's weird! I've got a pool table if you want one.

 

by Mella
12-21-02
Racist Steve is walking down the street...
Excuse me. Are you an Al-Queda terrorist?
No, you cheeky bugger!
But you look like one!
You racist little shit. You look like a big fat kiddie-fiddler, but that doesn't mean you are one!
But I am a big fat kiddie-fiddler!
OK, bad example then.

 

by Mella
12-21-02
Hello! I am the owl from Harry Potter. Do you love me, child?
Ha ha ha! You're not the owl from Harry Potter. That owls white, and doesn't have a bow tie and stuff!
Hey little girl! I'm the owl from Harry Potter! Want my autograph?
You aren't the Harry Potter owl! You look weird and that one was lovely!
Hello there cigarette on legs. I'm the owl from Harry Potter. Want a drink?
Hello Harry Potter Owl! I'm one of the cigarettes from Dr No. Let's party!

 

by Mella
12-21-02
Lying Owl, pretending to be the owl from Harry Potter, has met up with one of the cigarettes from Dr No...
Hey! It's one of the triceratopses from Jurassic Park Three! Hello there! Wanna meet my friend, Harry Potter Owl?
Howdy, darling. I loved that film. Tell me, how did they do that thing with Alan Rickman's hair?
Um... well... they...
Yeah?
Shit. How long will I be able to keep up this pretence, before I'm exposed as the charlatan I really am?

 

by Mella
12-21-02
Lying Owl has to think fast! One of the triceratopses from Jurassic Park Three wants to know how a stunt's done in Harry Potter, and he has to bluff his way through it. Can he succeed?
Well... um... Alan Rickman's hair... they kind of cover it in wallpaper paste and bits of string and hope for the best.
Wow! Great insight in to the workings of a major movie stunt there, Harry Potter Owl. C'mon, let's meet some more of my showbiz pals.
Uh... yeah... lets
Meanwhile...
Oh no, Hermione, we're trapped in this dungeon! Harry Potter and his owl have been killed by Voldemort! Only some other magic owl can save us now!
I know. It's terrible, Ron.

 

by Mella
12-21-02
Lying Owl is on his way to more showbiz parties with Dr No Cigarette, but doesn't realise his true destiny is before him...
Hey where you going, Harry Potter Owl! We still have to meet one of the Oompa Loompas from Willy Wonka and the dog from Frasier!
I'm... um... just going for a walk, Dr No Cigarette.
Sigh. How can I live with myself living this showbiz lifestyle as a fraud and a huckster? I'm not the real Harry Potter Owl. When Dr No Cigarette finds out I'll lose my only friend in the whole world.
Suddenly...
Bloody hell! It's Santa!
No! I am Dumbledor from Harry Potter! You must come quick! Hermione and Ron are in danger and need YOU!

 

by Mella
12-21-02
Dumbeldor from Harry Potter is revealing Lying Owl's true destiny
You see, Lying Owl, you are their only hope! As the only magic owl in a sixteen mile radius, you must save them from Voldemort's dungeon!
Ok! I've been a little shit for all my life. Now I will be a hero for the very first time!
So...
Dr No Cigarette, I have something to confess. I am not really the owl from Harry Potter. I am Lying Owl. But now I must go and save Hermione and Dave or whatever his name is from a stenchful prison!
I know all this, Lying Owl!
B-but how?!
FOR I AM REALLY LORD VOLDEMORT!

 

by Mella
12-21-02
Lying Owl has rushed off to save Hermione and Simon, only to discover Dr No Cigarette was really Lord Voldemort. Oh no!
You will not succeed, Voldemort!
I already have! I killed Hermione and Chris this morning! Mwahahahaha!
There's a £20 note in that bottomless pit over there.
Really? Wow!
And so, readers that's how I destroyed Lord Voldermort with my power of fibbing. Hermione and Ken were dead, but who cares? Annoying brats. Anyway, that is THE END.

 

by Mella
9-04-03
I WANT TO USE THE INTERNET!
Why?
Cos I am He-man!
Eh?
You fool!

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