All comics by MinimalisticCyborg

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Somewhere in Seth MacFarlane's studio...
Hey Seth, I'm struggling to meet the script deadline on the next family guy episode, got any suggestions?
Sure Bob, let me lend you my "popculture dvd collection 5"
Death: Name is Bender, please insert girder...
Peter: Oh yeah?! Well you can bite my shiny metal ass!
DOH!
HA HA HA HA HA! WHERE DO THEY COME UP WITH THIS STUFF!

 

WWI
Damnez ceux stupide capitaliste américains porc-chiens et leurs grandes boules!
Bonjour sir! Nous sommes venus pour aider!
WWII
Damnez ceux stupide capitaliste américains porc-chiens et leurs grandes boules!
Bonjour sir! Nous sommes venus pour aider!
WWIII
Damnez ceux stupide capitaliste américains porc-chiens et leurs grandes boules!

 

NEWS FLASH: Supreme Court Votes 5-4 in favor of Wal-mart bulldozing your house for fun and profit. Two of the four justices that voted against eminent domain have left or will be leaving soon.
I personally am appalled by the decision of the Supreme Court to infringe on hard working middle class citizens right to property set fourth in the constitution. This should be an
example to President Bush that he must confer with the congress first before making a real decision like this one. If people would just listen to me this sort of thing could be prevented.
Eminent domain votes: Reagan picks 2/3 voted against. Ford picks 0/1 voted against. Bush Sr. 1/2 voted against. Nixon 1/1 voted against. Clinton 0/2 voted against. Republican 57% Democrat 0%
Blah blah blah vote for my wife blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah reminds of the days when I was a young aspiring Arkansan boy just like yall blah blah blah open heart surgery blah blah
What do you have to say about both of your Supreme court nominations voting FOR eminent domain then??
Those who voted against eminent domain would also be considered the most conservative, so next time you hear someone rattle off rhetoric about how their flattened house is bush's fault, smack them.
Whats this about then? Did you say Eminem domain?
And there's a million of us just like me who vote like me who just don't give a fuck like me who dress like me walk, talk and act like me and just might be the next best thing but not quite me!

 

Compton unemployment office
Ooo it says here the San Bernadino City high schools are looking for an Ebonics language teachers! It looks like you ARE qualified for something, *giggle* who knew?!
... I got A's in english all through college though...
San Bernardino City High School
Hello class.. I am your new teacher... Lets start by reading from the text... "ABC, ITS EASY AS 123..." sigh...
Yeeeeyah! Finally I can get all tha bitches from my quality California edjimakashun!
El Segundo streets
Yo yo yo home boi! what up dawg! I gots my degree in niggahrology and niggahronomy!
SAY WHAT?! FUCK YOU NIGGAH CAUSE I CAN! *BANG*

 

NYC subway entrance
Sorry ma'am, I can't let you into the subway until I've checked your bag. lets see here.. Electronic vibrating oblong device, tooth brush, panties, hehe ok you can go.
...
Sorry sir, I can't let you into the subway until I've checked your bag.
Oops, I seem to have forgotten my morning coffee.
Moments later at a near by coffee shop

 

We interupt this broadcast on the state of the economy and the approaching housing bubble burstage for a Holy crap omg wtf news alert! *woosh* !!!!one!!!oneone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This just in, a pond is being drained in Aruba in the search of random kidnapped rich blonde chick, we go to Matzo with the latest! Matzo?
Thanks Feta, these images behind me are just amazing, the water is being removed from the pond as we speak and I haven't seen this much wet action since last weeks hurricane!
We will be on this story all night bringing you the latest as this most important omg news story unfolds right before your eyes on television. Just think! It could be YOU at the bottom of that pond!
So... You're on a 120 square mile island surrounded by infinite ocean... Why the hell would someone choose a landlocked pond to dispose of a body?
She kidnapped herself dude!

 

I don't get this intellectually challenged society anymore when it comes to comedy! It's like people will laugh at anything just because they 'get it' even if it fundamentally contains no humor at all
I can say any old uninspired cliched crap and people will laugh at it just because of some bullshit learned social protocol that says if(statement can be derived successfully) {StartLaughing = 1;}
Whachutalkinbout Willis?
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!

 

I think there is something wrong with your PC.
Whatever do you mean? I just took the male end of the Hard drive and RAMMED it home into that faggy motherboard! It's not exactly rocket science!
Exactly, I wasn't talking about rocket science you intellegently challenged differently smart person, or anything to do with astronomical math terms for that matter!
heh, I think there is something wrong with YOUR PC you retarded blonde!
Um no, I just had a catscan last week and it came back negative!
My PC is on fire...

 

odd.. my browser messed up 4 times while making this comic.. suspiiiciouus...
Fire ME will they?! I'll show those sons'abitches! Lets see here.. Add a few functions here and there.. ActLikeABitch(); ReadLips(); KillAllHumans(); etc etc
Cover my tracks by convincing retards that AI is "real", there that ought to do it! ehehe.. This could be a bad movie plot.
HAL, I won't argue with you anymore! Open the doors!
Dave, this conversation can serve no purpose anymore. Goodbye.

 

I got the perfect solution to the border problem!
Yeah?
Yeah it's simple, kick Fox out of office and BUY Mexico, then ALL mexicans can become US citizens and get legitimate jobs. Plenty of room for growth down there, its a win win situation.
Whoa whoa whoa, think about what you are saying man! You can't just go around saying stuff like that!
... Why not?..
Who would mow my lawn then?!

 

I only need about 2 million more aborted fetuses for my stem cell research to be complete!
I'll give Bill Frist and Nancy Reagan a call and see what I can do.
Less than 2 years later
Success!... FUCK this one didn't come out right either!
Redlo Slifkon leblerton muuuuuuuuuh halp meh.. payn..
Ok I've created and have had to kill 600 of the retards now, this shit isn't working like we planned!
What the hell do you want 'me' to do about it? I'm friggin Ron Reagan, not God! Get back to work!

 

Hey hey, what's up?
Hey not much, did you hear about the plane full of french people that crashed in canada??
Um no.. What's the punchline?
No one died.
HA HA H-I don't get it..
Me either..

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