All comics by Morpheus

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by Morpheus
10-14-02
You know what they call a... uhh... donut in Paris?
Croissant with cheese.
Let's not trail off and continue with how that headless corpse got in your car.

 

by Morpheus
10-14-02
I really liked today's sermon, Father...
The idea that God has given us a choice between following his beliefs or living life on our own terms and face the consequences...
Oh I'm sorry were you talking to me? I was busy watching those two 11 year olds behind you wrestle...

 

by Morpheus
10-14-02
I just think that the world is fucked up. Sometimes I just want to split some random's guy's face with an uppercut, you know...
Just because he looks like one of them cool guys that thinks he knows what's going on in the world when he's just a dumbass...
Everyone is just out of it, you know? Psychos are just on the loose, They just walk on the street and blend in... You know what I mean, Felix?
*BAAAAAAH!*

 

by Morpheus
10-14-02
Hey there handsome ;) , where are you from? :-*
Wow! This girl is smoking hot! Her profile picture is unbelievable!
I'm from Houston, TX, and I'm a grad student at Austin...
Yeah stud! That's how you work it playa!
I thought we went through this enough times... As my roommate you should not play around with this kind of stuff!
Haha... You shoulda seen the look on your face when you thought you were gonna score! Nerd!

 

by Morpheus
10-14-02
This strip may be referred to as "These kids think they figured out life"
Ey, yo Dave, what's happening? So are you gonna be free on Saturday night to do the thing?
Fo sho, man... I can't believe your parents are gonna be out of town! This is so the chance to do something awesome!
Word to your mother! We're gonna invite a lot of people over and it's gonna be off the hook!
So yeah what do you have in mind? What do you wanna do?
Well bring your PS2 and we can play GTA3 and hear this... I stole three cigarettes from my mom's purse!
Holy **** man! It's gonna be the best weekend ever! Maybe I can make out with Katie too.

 

by Morpheus
10-14-02
*sneak sneak*
Die, you sinner! I am a messenger of God and I shall see you burn at the stake after I chop your arms off!
...
What?
Your shoes are untied.

 

by Morpheus
10-14-02
And it's like, every year the same problem...
You meet people, then all of a sudden they just walk out of your life...
I mean not all of them, most of them are cool, but one day they look like they've had enough of that small barn.
They go talk to the farmer, and within a week, away they go without even bidding farewell.
*sigh*
What's up with turkeys going back home for Thanksgiving and not even coming back every once in a while to say hello to their peeps?

 

by Morpheus
10-14-02
Hey Ben, it's so good to see you man... I met this guy today outside the bar... it was freaky...
*sigh* Have you been drinking cheap ass stuff again? You know it's not good for you.
I swear man! He was right there and was like babbling about all this deep stuff...
Oh yeah? Deep stuff like what?
I want you to hit me as hard as you can.
You can make soap out of WHAT???

 

by Morpheus
10-15-02
Ey yo. Where the trees at?
Be cool nigga. You know JC handles this.
You got some more of that bubbonic chronic shiznit? Dat shit was da bomb.
Word is bond. I'ma bust a cap in dat shit. I smoked myself senseless with dat Mary Magdalene ho last night. We got freaky.
Dayum. You gots to be da biggest pimp.
Ok. So what cliche' do you want to go over tomorrow?

 

by Morpheus
10-15-02
Trick or treaaaaat!
I'll go with trick. Now what, bitch? You gonna put a spell on me? Scram.
Damn you, loopholes!

 

by Morpheus
10-15-02
Trick or treaaat!
I'll go with trick. Now what, bitch? You gonna put a spell on me? Scram.
He should have asked me if this actually was a costume before PISSING ME OFF.

 

by Morpheus
10-15-02
So I says, "Well, them rotor turbines ain't gonna generate gravitons by themselves!"
Heh.
So are you coming to the Avril Lavigne concert on Friday? My mom will drive us there.
I'm sorry... I have cheerleading practice.

 

by Morpheus
10-15-02
Sicche' je dico "Ao', 'ste turbine a rotore nun e' che stanno a genera' gravitoni dar gnente!"
Ma che cazzo stai a di'?

 

by Morpheus
10-19-02
KNOCK KNOCK
Please tell me it's a costume.
Please tell me it's a costume.

 

by Morpheus
6-25-03
Martin Scorsese
Andy Warhol
Brad Pitt

 

by Morpheus
12-11-03
I need to pep up my circus routine a bit.
Any suggestions?
Well, you could whore yourself out to a hundred fat chicks for a hundred bucks each.
For the last time, I'm not gonna let you watch.
Whatever. You know you want to do it.

 

by Morpheus
12-12-03
On a sunny fall day...and acid.
why is it that i can sit here without moving for 9 hours straight and still not appear like a statue to that squirrel?
Hey little fella, you holdin up all right?
Fuck off.
ya look like you've had a rough day little fella, why don't you take a hit of this j?
I'd like to, but stoned Triceratops are a real turn off for me.

 

by Morpheus
12-18-03
Help me! Set me free, and I will grant you three wishes!
Money! Women! Drugs! You name it, I will give you!
Can you make the Earth explode from its core?
On second thought, free life might be a little too overwhelming...

 

by Morpheus
9-11-04
The plot is out. You decide...
Country music is about patriotism and deep felt sentiments. It is as viable as that rap music you guys hear.
Ey, yo, don't be throwin salt in my game, lanky ass craka. Word is bond. Check it.
...
THEY SHOULD HAVE NEVER GIVEN YOU NIGGAZ MONEY!!!
Say 'der partner, what do you make out of this whole jingle-jangle?
what a faggot.

 

by Morpheus
12-23-04
YES! I can now wield the power! Flames shall rise again! Mwahahahahahahahaha!
You done with that rubbing alcohol? I'd like it back now.
I WANT ALL OF IT.

 

by Morpheus
12-23-04
By the time you read this comic...
You've already read it.

 

by Morpheus
10-20-07
So... where's the emergency?
MY-BEHAVIORAL-SOFTWARE-ONLY-RUNS-ON-VISTA
Way to bug up the panel, you dumbass.

 

by Morpheus
10-20-07
Life is about decisions. And about finding the place where you belong - feeling like you're in the zone. And when you do...
HURRY TO YOUR LOCAL CAR DEALER FOR THE MUST-BUY EVENT OF THE YEAR!
THESE BABIES ARE PRICED TO SELL! CALL TODAY TO FIND OUT IF YOU QUALIFY FOR OUR LOW RATE FINANCING!
Where did I put that hammer?

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