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| I could never figure out why my parents kicked me out of the house when I was a kid. | |
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| I did my chores on time. Helped old lady Witherspooge take out the garbage & even did jog-a-thons for Jerry's Kids. | |
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| Maybe it was the endless hours of masturbating with baby oil in mom's pantyhose while watching 'Faces of Death' | |
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