All comics by NewCode

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by NewCode
1-15-01
You might think that having a nail stuck in your head is bad.
Actually, though, the brain has no pain sensors, so it's OK.
What really pisses me off is that this hammer is still superglued to my fucking hand.

 

by NewCode
1-15-01
Jesus Christ. I knew student accomodation was dingy, but fuck me.
I mean, look at the size of that disgusting bug!
Do you mind? I'm the landlord.
Something tells me the rent may have just gone up.

 

by NewCode
1-15-01
*click* *bzzzt* and today in the news...
*click* *bzzzt* Congratulations! You've just won...
Eighty billion channels in the whole universe, and theres nothing on. *sigh*
*click* *bzzzt* we've got this beautiful diamond ring...

 

by NewCode
1-15-01
Well, the planes going down.
I suppose I've had worse days.
On the bright side, at least I won't have to go in to work tomorrow.

 

by NewCode
1-15-01
8..7..6..5..4..3..2..1... the end of the millennium! The end of the world is upon us!
a few seconds pass...
oh
Still, its not the end of the world, eh?

 

by NewCode
1-15-01
Goddamn, thats one shiny mirror.

 

by NewCode
1-15-01
Thank God this spaceship has a toilet. I nearly wet myself just then.
This space ship doesn't have a toilet.
So whats that down there then?
bloody earthlings only gone and pissed in my coffee pot, hasn't he?

 

by NewCode
1-15-01
What the?
What day is it? Oh shit, it's Sunday.
Don't you just hate it when you accidentally go in to work on your day off?

 

by NewCode
1-15-01
Damnit, I hate being a prostitute.
It's a lousy, filthy job.
If only I hadn't taken that degree in Psychology, I wouldn't have been overqualified to work at McDonalds...

 

by NewCode
1-15-01
The human race are an amazing bunch. They built me. They created me from scratch.
They gave me massive intelligence and the freedom to use it. They gave me this metal body, and hence massive strength.
And then they went and spoiled it all by painting me this fucking stupid red colour. The bastards.

 

by NewCode
1-15-01
My girlfriend doesn't believe anything I tell her anymore.
She says that I'm just lying to her all the time and she knows it.
She says she can see right through me.

 

by NewCode
1-15-01
My job is pretty dull.
Death, death, death, death, death and more death all day long.
Still, thats life, eh?

 

by NewCode
1-15-01
Darling, I've been with you a long time now. I think it's time I fully expressed myself.
You mean?
Yes, those three little words
Suck my dick?

 

by NewCode
1-16-01
Its just so unfair.
I used to stand tall.
And then they cut me down, fashioned me into a cross and nailed this bloody human to me.

 

by NewCode
1-16-01
Damn, the internet is slow today.
Hang on! I think I know what the problem is!
This isn't a computer, it's a 1950's television set!

 

by NewCode
1-17-01
Windows!
Linux!
Eight hours later..
Windows!
Linux!

 

by NewCode
1-19-01
First rule of Fight Club: you do not talk about Fight Club.
Second rule of Fight Club: you do not talk about Fight Club.
Third rule of Fight Club: you do not hammer nails into your head.
shit

 

by NewCode
2-03-01
0101011100 01011010?
0101010
010101 010101 011!
*laughter*

 

by NewCode
4-15-01
*sigh*
What a crap way to spend Easter.

 

by NewCode
4-15-01
And at the end of the reel, you'll catch Tylers contribution to the movie...
A big fat cock.

 

by NewCode
4-15-01

 

by NewCode
8-07-01
Had Jesus fallen victim to a sea-faring race:
Man, this guy is *the* worst sail we have *ever* had.

 

by NewCode
8-07-01
Damn, this sucks.
Yeah, I'm bored.
Walking on water just hasn't been the same since Jesus sold the secret of it for that colony of woodworms.

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