All comics by Oxy_the_Moron

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by Oxy_the_Moron
5-19-06
What are the odds of a missionary plane crash-landing on the same exect Pacific island I've been stranded on for twenty-six years, yet leaving no supplies intact save for a few Bibles?
God can be weird like that sometimes. So, why am I folowing you again?
Because I hold the ritual following plunger. The plunger knows best.
I should have chosen a career in medicine like my parents wanted...

 

by Oxy_the_Moron
5-20-06
Father, those mean kids at school beat me up today!
Not again...
It was during our lunch break. I was writing depressing poetry in my diary under the weeping willow when those bullies suddenly attacked me unprovoked!
Why the hell don't you ever hit back?
Unfortunately, I now have a Saturday detention for trying to cast a spell on them that would slowly deteriorate their sanity...after cutting myself due to the overwhelming opression of the world.
Could you be any more of a pansy?

 

by Oxy_the_Moron
5-22-06
Welcome to Coach Dunn's 4A class...
Today, I'm going to tell you the importance of history in our lives. How many have you have ever touched a hot stove once? ...Alright, that's most of you. Twice?
...home to a great many morons...
Wow, that's still more than half of you...but surely no one has touched a hot stove more than three times, right?
...but with a few lapses of sanity.
Micheal, he's dead.
The shock must've given him a heart attack...

 

by Oxy_the_Moron
5-25-06
We rejoin Coach Dunn's history class...
Alright, guys. The answer sheet only goes A through E, so some of the matching are going to be things like AB or CD.
But Coach, there's an AB and a BA. How will the machine know which is which?
Oh, that's simple, Ruby. See, the machine I run the answer sheets through uses carbon dating to determine which letter you filled in first. Right.
Really? The Scantron machine can carbon date?
...only to find that nothing has changed.
Where did I go wrong, Joe?
It's okay, Coach...

 

by Oxy_the_Moron
5-26-06
...and it's so infuriating that I can't get my range of notes much higher than an E above the staff, and I couldn't even do that until I had to play lead trumpet for jazz band this year...
Yeah, Amanda, of course...
...and I usually sit with the saxaphones even though the French Horn is a brass instrument, Kate, because their tuning pitch is closer to mine...
Yeah, Micheal, whatever you say...
Hey, Kate. I'm transposing some video game music I found online so the band can play it. I'm doing my tenor sax part first, wanna see?
Sorry, Jason, but I don't speak band...

 

by Oxy_the_Moron
6-01-06
Spam, spam, spam, spam, smam; spam, spam, spam, spam--wonderful. Spam!
Dude, I didn't know you liked Monty Python.
I don't. I just sing about things I see about on the screen. It helps to pass the excruciatingly long AOL loading times. Ads, ads, ads, ads...
That's a good idea.
Porn, porn, porn, porn...I hate it when the filter dosn't block this crap.
It's still better than the Internet Explorer.

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