FTC 22: Jared sucks!

Author: Ozzfest

Date: February 9, 2004

by Ozzfest
2-09-04
Dad, I need some advice. I've had.............feelings for this girl. But I think she rejects our ideals and thus won't accept me as a suitor.
Son the first thing you need is legs. Thats the most important of all. Women love a good kneecap. Secondly, I recommend going into town with your life savings and making a name for yourself.
Cousin Wilford, father has sent me to speak with you about love. Can you give me some of your insights?
My legs have been destroyed by the love of an unclean woman. Go forth and relay this message for your father he will be able to decode its true origins
It's Ok. He had Subway for lunch.