....So HE says to me, "Look pal, I don't have your fuckin' money, and I surely don't have any interest in taking your fruit supply." So I tell him, "DUDE! My STASH was IN that lemon!!!"
Wonderful. Brett. Way to keep rehashing the same old phrases.
Dude, Christmas is going to be so sweet this year.
Yeah? How do you figure?
I have enough money to buy presents! Santa finally remembered to pay me back the money he owes me. Maybe next time that fat ass will watch where he's going and NOT kick my uncle in the face.
Oh, stop. That guy was clearly dressed up as Ted Kennedy. No one would be caught dead trick or treating as Santa on Halloween.
Dude....what if it was Ted Kennedy? Teddy, you're the next in line, asshole!
Geez, you jack-o-lanterns can be so fucking paranoid sometimes.
There comes a time in one's life when a chair must settle down and face the odd realities of life. You are familiar with the woman stationed in cubicle #8, right?
Get outta here! I didn't think she was that tense.
I'll never look at that ass in the same, dull way ever again. Now if only I can find a way to explain these scratch marks to my wife...
This tree has been unfairly mistreated. It has been stripped away from its natural habitat to help profit big businesses that abuse the "tradition" of the Christmas holiday.
As a friend of Mother Earth, I cannot allow the evils of mankind to destroy the things that make this world beautiful. Those ornaments are made up of glass! What if they break?!
Sometimes I wonder what it really takes to be truly happy with one's life. Does the process require some sort of an epiphany, or is it all meant to be gradual?
Do me a favor, Fran. Lose the get-up tomorrow.
I run a diner here, not a youth hostile. Kids gotta learn one of these days.