All comics by PsychicKnowHow

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by PsychicKnowHow
10-15-02
Hey Elan, come out partying with us. I guarantee there will be free beer!
No! I'd rather sit here and do nothing the whole night. Go away!
Hey Elan, we're gonna smoke a bowl in a few minutes. Want to come?
Are you crazy? I'd rather go without sleep for days rather than get high! Shoo!
I'll stick with online chat rooms.
HEEEUUYY THEREEE EEEEEEE

 

by PsychicKnowHow
10-15-02
So...
must.....hold.....back....tears...
Oh, come on! You know you want some of this!

 

by PsychicKnowHow
10-15-02
....So HE says to me, "Look pal, I don't have your fuckin' money, and I surely don't have any interest in taking your fruit supply." So I tell him, "DUDE! My STASH was IN that lemon!!!"
Wonderful. Brett. Way to keep rehashing the same old phrases.
bye.

 

by PsychicKnowHow
10-16-02
Well? What do you have to say for yourself?
I really wasn't hoping this shirt would get ruined so quickly...
Dude, I'm not even angry at you. Way to read facial expressions, dipshit.

 

by PsychicKnowHow
10-16-02
Oh dad, I miss you so much. I think about you all the time, and how you're not there to talk to me anymore.
But like you always said, do what makes you feel comfortable in times of struggle and strife. Thanks for the advice, dad. See you next year.
The work just never ends, does it? Hot damn, I love my job.

 

by PsychicKnowHow
10-16-02
I love her.
I love him.
I really love her.
I really love him.
AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
Oh stop being a baby, my mother wasn't THAT harsh on you.

 

by PsychicKnowHow
10-24-02
Hey there, son. Interested in being my honorary male prostitute tonight?
WHAT?! How rude of you! I may be hot, but I am not about to be used like some sexual object for money!
That's a shame, 'cause I was thinking I would give you one of my girls to take home, free of charge, as a token of my appreciation...
I cannot believe you are actually trying to do this to me...
...Did I mention that one of them only has two diseases?
Now you're talking! I'll start in an hour!

 

by PsychicKnowHow
10-25-02
You are ruining my life. I wish I could just throw you out of that window right now.
Forgive me?
Wow, you actually talk to your computer? You really are whipped!

 

by PsychicKnowHow
10-28-02
I'm sorry, Jasper. But, I don't think we can see each other anymore.
My performance in bed just isn't satisfying enough.
Actually, it isn't you that falls short...
Oh shut up, Miranda. That self-loathing technique is so trite.

 

by PsychicKnowHow
11-06-02
I'm sickened by all this trashy programming on television. Why can't TV be wholesome anymore?
As if there wasn't enough death and destruction going on in the real world. I watch TV to escape the burdens of reality!
Coming up next on FOX...When Politicians Get Caught...Making Prank Phone Calls to Arabic Women!
See, THIS is what I call entertainment. All I need now is....well, shit. There goes my popcorn.

 

by PsychicKnowHow
11-06-02
Amazing! Hey, did you know that...
You're reading the book upside-down.
A little inaccuracy sometimes saves tons of explanation.

 

by PsychicKnowHow
11-07-02
Dude, Christmas is going to be so sweet this year.
Yeah? How do you figure?
I have enough money to buy presents! Santa finally remembered to pay me back the money he owes me. Maybe next time that fat ass will watch where he's going and NOT kick my uncle in the face.
Oh, stop. That guy was clearly dressed up as Ted Kennedy. No one would be caught dead trick or treating as Santa on Halloween.
Dude....what if it was Ted Kennedy? Teddy, you're the next in line, asshole!
Geez, you jack-o-lanterns can be so fucking paranoid sometimes.

 

by PsychicKnowHow
11-07-02
Well Ray, you sure look happy.
Bert, I am beyond happy.
There comes a time in one's life when a chair must settle down and face the odd realities of life. You are familiar with the woman stationed in cubicle #8, right?
Get outta here! I didn't think she was that tense.
I'll never look at that ass in the same, dull way ever again. Now if only I can find a way to explain these scratch marks to my wife...

 

by PsychicKnowHow
12-03-02
This tree has been unfairly mistreated. It has been stripped away from its natural habitat to help profit big businesses that abuse the "tradition" of the Christmas holiday.
As a friend of Mother Earth, I cannot allow the evils of mankind to destroy the things that make this world beautiful. Those ornaments are made up of glass! What if they break?!
The tofurkey wasn't good this year, I take it.
Don't hurt the trees! Don't hurt the trees!

 

by PsychicKnowHow
9-22-03
Sometimes I wonder what it really takes to be truly happy with one's life. Does the process require some sort of an epiphany, or is it all meant to be gradual?
Do me a favor, Fran. Lose the get-up tomorrow.
I run a diner here, not a youth hostile. Kids gotta learn one of these days.

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