All comics by RCarnage

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by RCarnage
11-08-03
Meanwhile, Back at the Office...
*sigh*
What's the matter, Roy?
Sometimes...Well, sometimes i don't feel pretty, Siegfried.
perhaps i've said too much
You're so weird.

 

by RCarnage
11-08-03
So, Antichrist, how's things goin?
Can't complain, Siegfried...all is going according to plan...etc.
I don't mean to be rude...but do you remember that $5 i loaned you?
Yeah...that money's all gone. I blew it on coke.
Oh...i mean...that's cool...i guess...
GAZE INTO MY EVIL EYES!

 

by RCarnage
11-08-03
So you thought it was a GOOD idea to burn down the school?
Looking back on it...i may have been a bit hasty.

 

by RCarnage
11-08-03
I hate when parallel universes clash.
.hsalc sesrevinu lellarap nehw etah I
I mean, i don't really look like that do i?
?i od taht ekil kool yllaer t'nod i ,naem I
Maybe i should give suicide another chance.
Yes, you should.

 

by RCarnage
11-08-03
Back at the office
You give me your number, i call you up, you act like your p*ssy don't interrupt, i don't have no trouble with you fucking me, but i have a lil problem with you not fucking me.
Damn rap music!
Baby you know i'm unna take care of you, cuz you say you got my baby and i know it ain't true. is it a good thing? no it's bad bitch. For good or worse, i'll make you switch.
...
Do you feel me?
I hate you.

 

by RCarnage
11-08-03
And now, a very special comic strip...
Hey Kids! it's your new best friends, Siegfried and Roy!
We're here to deliver an important message to y'all out there!
We make a lot of jokes in this comic, but one thing that's not funny is killing your parents.
Yes, when we talk about killing your parents, we are REALLY telling you to kill your parents. We are not joking.
Seriously...kill your parents.
Um...they'll thank you?

 

by RCarnage
11-08-03
I don't like Chinese people.
That's it. No joke here.

 

by RCarnage
11-08-03
A Meeting of the Minds
I think Hegel's view of history--that is to say thesis, antithesis, synthesis--is a little too simplified.
Perhaps it's made simple because it is such a universal concept, and hence only by making it simple can it apply to so many things.
I suppose one could always argue that, but i believe Marx's view of history, as being defined by class strife, is not only more complicated, but also more accurate.
Are you kidding? That's merely an extension of the Hegelian school of thought! All of Marx's ideas and principles come from so many people before him, be it Nietzsche, Hegel, or Heidegger.
I think i just crapped my pants.
I thought i smelled something.

 

by RCarnage
11-08-03
Golgotha...just the other day...
well?
Let's just agree to disagree.

 

by RCarnage
11-08-03
I think i want to sell out, Roy.
How do we do that, Siegfried?
i don't know...all i know is that we get a lot of money.
I LOVE MONEY!
On the other hand...we lose all artistic cred.
Plus, i would probably spend it all on whores. Why has God cursed me with such an insatiable sexual appetite?

 

by RCarnage
11-08-03
Squirrel, why do you always tell me to do horrible things that cause pain and property damage?
Because i'm nothing more than a manifestation of your unconscious psychosis which allows you to distance yourself from the terrible acts you commit.
Oh....
Yeah...so you think you can smash that cop car and take it for a joyride? For your old pal Squirrel?
Ummm....i guess so. Even though this is all a coping mechanism, i suppose it's just easier to go along with it and blame you for all of my actions.
That's the spirit!

 

by RCarnage
11-09-03
you shouldn't be doin' that, Siegfried?
just 'cause
You probably shouldn't do that. It can't be good for you.
Maybe you should mind your own business, robot.
Will you hug me?
No.

 

by RCarnage
11-09-03
Hey...Roy, did you know that there is another famous duo known as "Siegfried and Roy"? Apparently, they are homosexual magicians with funny accents and tigers.
WHAT?
What are we gonna do?
Well, i'll be Krandall and you can be Moiberg.
You think that's necessary, Roy?
It's Krandall, and if you feel the need to fox with the dark arts those fabulous men control, then be my guest.

 

by RCarnage
11-09-03
Lookin' good.
I am very uncomfortable.

 

by RCarnage
11-09-03
BITCH! YOU'RE GONNA GIVE ME MY MONEY!
That's Jimmy Flo-Top. He's a businessman. He says he needs to motivate his workers.
DON'T WALK AWAY FROM ME! I WILL CUT YOU FROM MUFF TO MOUTH! AND THEN I WILL PISS ON YOUR BONES IN FRONT OF THAT LITTLE RETARDED BOY YOU CALL A SON!
You wanna have your asshole licked?
...I like your hat.

 

by RCarnage
11-13-03
What's the matter, Roy? You look sad.
I guess I'm just in a creative rut, Antichrist.
I can change that. Hold on...
So how do you feel?
Well...I like the hat.

 

by RCarnage
11-13-03
An Ode to Zippy the Pinhead
God I hate Zippy! It's like the Emperor's New Clothes of comic strips.
How do you figure?
It's just horribly bizarre and surreal and pointless, but no one wants to look like they don't get the joke, so everyone laughs. Even though there's nothing to laugh at!
On the other hand it's wildly successful, so...
Reaganomics!
God bless us, everyone.

 

by RCarnage
11-13-03
That's Jason. He's in love
Gonna kill her...
Yup, that's love for you.

 

by RCarnage
11-13-03
So Sally, what did you think of school today?
I hated it, and I hate that fucking bitch of a teacher!
Whoa.
I'm sorry, Johnny...I just really need to get laid.

 

by RCarnage
11-15-03
PUNY EARTHLING! I am Krang from Dimension X, and i have come to take over your planet.
Isn't this more of a matter for the governments of the world?...I mean, i'm a waitress at IHOP.
NO MATTER! You will bow down before Krang and prepare your world for my coming!
Yeah...I don't really want to do that at all. So...I'm not gonna.
Well...perhaps you have some girl friend who is, as you earthlings say, "easy"?
Is that gun even loaded?

 

by RCarnage
11-16-03
Golgotha...just the other day
...Cuz he's well hung! Ha!
well?
OH I GET IT!
How the hell did you turn your back on me?
i got moves you ain't even seen, yet.

 

by RCarnage
12-02-03
Whatcha lookin fer, Roger?
I can't find my baby sister anywhere!
Well I have huge genital warts that really hurt and kinda itch a little.
I'm just sayin....we've all got problems.
Please leave me alone.

 

by RCarnage
12-02-03
On the Set of Fear and Loathing In Las Vegas
I can't believe how long this day has been!
I know! We had to shoot my spit take, like, 5 times! Oy!
Hey...Is that Johnny Depp?
JOHNNY!
Guess not.
I'm getting too old for this shit.

 

by RCarnage
12-02-03
Somewhere in the British Country Side
What do you mean you love me, Durham?
I....I can't help it, Maurice.
But we're Englishmen...that sort of thing is the worst crime of the calendar! We can't do this!
I'm an unspeakable of the Oscar Wilde sort, i suppose.
I....I...well, I love you, too.
Oh, Maurice!

 

by RCarnage
12-02-03
Hey, Bobby...how are you doing?
I'm good, Strong Bad Impersonator. How are you?
I'd be a lot better if you'd show me that sweet ass of yours.
Um....
Yeah, baby!...do the jiggle like i taught you...
has it come to this?

 

by RCarnage
4-08-04
The Reunion of Famed Vaudeville act Cthulu and Schlomonsky
Well, Cthulu, I was talking to my sister today, and the subject of pies came up.
Ragnorak ftagn, k'lorn rhyys ver nutghi!
Exactly. So i asked her, why do they always do that? And you know what she said?
Groar, jukilus, phang ytloan m'nioc.
Hey! That's my sister you're talking about!
Wakka-Wakka-Wakka!

 

by RCarnage
11-11-04
Maybe If I just stand still he won't notice me.
That's it. He hasn't seen me at all...this is going great...now just don't move...
Wow! I am so good at this...he doesn't even notice me at all!
If this doesn't get me friends...then it's back to being a dancer on Soul Train. Hope the "Electric Slide" is still a hip move...

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