Hi! It's me, Captain Obvious, here in front of the White House with Petey the Butt Pirate, reminding all Americans to wear a condom to prevent the spread of HIV...
I don't wear no stinkin' rubber, you @%$# landlubber! Arrrggghhh!
Why not?
'Cuz every time I try putting one on, me @%&# hook tears a hole in it! ARRRGGGHHH!!
Then, I'm obviously never letting you near MY "booty"!
