All comics by Rince

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by Rince
1-07-07
Panel #1
Panel #2
Real Panel #2
Bugger.

 

by Rince
1-07-07
Someone does actually drink horse sperm in Jackass 2, apparently...
...So then the guy drinks HORSE SPERM!!
That's so retarded, it must be funny.
...and yes, people do find it funny.
Do you watch Jackass, Rince?
I'd rather not give a reason for a bunch of idiots to degrade themselves by giving them the viewing figures to continue their shows and movies.
Give me strength.
But they're hilarious!
No, they suck balls. Sometimes literally.

 

Go right a bit, rotate... oh, you're putting it there, you need a long skinny one! Put that on the left rotate! Hold down, you're taking forever! Ooh, ooh, right a bit... rotate! No, you missed!
by Rince, 1-07-07

 

by Rince
1-13-07
So, today class, we are starting a whole terms' work on views on abortion. I hope you completed that homework on Influences that is exactly the same as the one I set you in November.
Christian and Muslim faiths maintain some credible morals, but why does the government insist on teaching us one-dimensional, and frankly useless subject matter?
Abortion is a much-debated issue, Rince. It raises some important points about religions' differing but similar beliefs.
It's not that we shouln't learn about it, but don't you feel that we need to prioritise teaching about more world religions than branches of Christianity, and Muslim?
This should be a single lesson, not a whole unit. Practically my entire knowledge of Buddhism, for instance, comes from sources like Wikipedia.
What the fuck is Buddhism??

 

It's my half-birthday! On this day if I tell anyone this, I get half-arsed felicitations... half-arsed everything! It semi-rules!
by Rince, 1-13-07

 

by Rince
1-19-07
What if I am the only thing that exists, because I am the only thing that I am truly aware of?
Everything else is defined by my 5 senses, perceived by receptors - eyes, ears, skin, nose, tongue - but interpreted completely by my mind.
I see, hear, smell things that don't match my other senses - like hearing two things fall and finding three, or asking a friend if they saw the same thing as you, and they didn't.
But it is because of the immense processing power of my brain that I can create these theories! I guess life doesn't reward tricky questions.
Rince, what is the best type of Club biscuit?! Chocolate, mint, orange, or fruit!
Fruit Club. You get a normal chocolate Club, but with raisins in the biscuit!

 

by Rince
1-21-07
Films are comissioned on the basis of entertainment value.
Action, comedy, sex, romance, horror, and interestingness are the main (if not only) factors that films can include for entertainment.
So what possible entertainment value would elaborate torture scenes contribute to movies? They're simply uncomfortable.
Maybe it's just me, but I think that the Saw franchise, for example, is aimed at the inner homicidal maniac.
Erm...
It's a good job this comic isn't part of a film, because I forgot to write a punchline again.

 

by Rince
1-21-07
An omnipotent being? Not likely.
Surely he'd have to be omnipotent to create the world. You're agnostic, right? So it is possible.
Surely the only true omnipotence exists as the universe as a whole. As in, not a being. If omnipotence does exist, I think it would be a different form.
I imagined it like a vast source of all knowledge of all time, accessible to the being.
...ok, that's what I was about to propose. Most people would imagine all knowledge in one mind, always there and known to the being.
Uh, yeah. But that would make your head asplode. Our idea would be like an awesome superpower!

 

Best idea EVER! In the scene where that guy gets his head cut off, the protagonist says "Don't lose your head!"
Give this man a raise!
by Rince, 1-21-07

 

by Rince
1-21-07
Don't you just love suburbia?
Sure. It's homely, with fairly low crime rates, and houses big enough for anyone.
Exactly! I'd say my house is perfectly sized. I love the houses, detached and then semi-detached, with neat rooves and pretty front lawns.
I picture the shady lanes, with domesticated trees lined up in rows along the pavement, with a dog-walker strolling casually along.
It's a shame that once we're in uni, we'll have to move into some crappy flat in the middle of a city. Until we're 30. Or something.
Yeah. Start a family as soon as possible, and you'll just move into suburbia. No teenager knows the process, but all families end up in suburbia.

 

by Rince
1-22-07
Nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnngggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg
Nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnggggggggggggggggggggggg
Oh, crap. That guy who sold me the forcefield generator is going to get it.

 

by Rince
1-23-07
A newcomer arranges a new Mafia game!
#mafiady2q39bsn for Mafia!!! I just got the new script!
In #mafiady2q39bsn, a surprising amount of people want to play Mafia!
...
...
Yes, this is an IRC in-joke. Sorry.
Ok, half of one of us could be Mafia.

 

I recall from my innocent youthood that my wish, if a genie were to appear, would be to give everybody in the world as many wishes as they pleased. Luckily, genies do not exist.
by Rince, 1-24-07

 

I think that the Penny Arcade guy's last line is just sarcasm. I don't know, I don't play consoles. Plus, I made it up.
Today, instead of going to the vet's I am going to stay on the sofa and eat lasagna. I hate Mondays; what do you think, Mr gamer?
I think Sony are... like... bad to their customers... and stuff... and DS is better than PSP, or something. It's like the storyline to... big... guns and stuff... 4. Except that was a good game.
by Rince, 1-25-07

 

Your journey will be somewhere between mediocre and enjoyable! Your tasks will be generic but stimulating! The pain I have suffered was minimal, but as far as you're concerned, it was mental agony!
by Rince, 1-28-07

 

by Rince
1-31-07
u kno that u luv sum1 wen u cant put into words how u feel
You know you love someone when you don't ever have to articulate your love to them all the time, it's just there.
Furthermore, you know that you're illiterate when you can't describe why you love someone. Ahem.

 

by Rince
2-04-07
I think I'm too much of a perfectionist.
I don't tell many people this, but I always see the flaws in everyone's personalities, and it always really bugs me.
Unfortunately, I include my own flaws, which I think abou too much. But that's another story.
I picture me living with the perfect girl, in the future. Someone who is like a flawless version of me. Someone really sexy... it's not going to happen.
But then, I fall in love irrationally, which I suppose is how it works. And then life is how it's supposed to be lived.
I guess my point is that love doesn't have to make sense. It just has to work.

 

by Rince
2-05-07
I totally hate *blank*!
The amount of people that like, even the amount who TOLERATE *blank* confounds and upsets me.
*blank* is all the bad things in the world concentrated into one intolerable idea.
It's safe to say that *blank* would be the first reason in my theoretical suicide note.
If *blank* were anthromorphically personnified, I would crucify it, which slowly sandpapering its flesh away.
The creators of *blank* should be raped, killed slowly and painfully, and then raped again.

 

by Rince
2-05-07
I love talking about questionable and personal stuff here. It just doesn't fit anywhere else in my life, but in 3 split panels I can get one minor issue off my chest.
Like, the thought crossed my mind that I should do a comic about lesbianism being a sign of a creator. Weird, but funny. Not really deep, but interesting.
It's flawed, but my idea revolves around how lesbians go against evolution, for obvoius reasons, AND men find them hot. Explain that one, atheists.
And this is why I love these: I can write 100 words about something retarded, and it doesn't even have to make sense. <3 you for reading this nonsense.

 

by Rince
2-10-07
Dude, I've been thinking. The RIAA are never going to stop music piracy, but as it is they're doing a damn fine job, even if they don't realise it.
I still think they supress us too zealously... I mean, they actually sued a dead woman. And they're overexaggerating; it's definitely not killing the music industry.
Ah, but in these tales of 'justice' that are leaked to the public, they have put off enough people to create an equilibrium between pirates and iTunes-ers.
They've certainly scared me... but surely they're too drastic.
Deus Ex Machina alert!
But really, I think they ignore the pirates and focus on preventing people downloading. The upshot is that I can still torrent stuff and have that much peace of mind.
wtf is a torrnet just use limewire its got all teh songs ever it isent illegal orse it would of said

 

by Rince
2-10-07
Whenever I look at a map of the world, I always stop and think, "What's it like to live there?"
The world is a big place... I know what you mean, it'd be a big culture shock to live in some remote corner.
Yeah! Like... Uzbekistan... Chad... Latvia... just 3 of several large countries whose culture I have never experienced.
Yeah, and Britain and America are easily the most recognisably-cultured countries in the world.
And in these obscure countries, life must be so... odd! And NOW I'm thinking about something even MORE inconceivable: extraterrestrial life.
I wonder what it's like to be male. Or a mongoose. Yeah.

 

by Rince
2-10-07
You know what's stupid? When people say "You're lucky to live in England."
It's clear that people who say this have absolutely no philosophical notions.
For atheists, the correct statement should be "You have the correct DNA to be born to those parents and live your exact life the way you do, also you're lucky your ancestors were wiser than others."
I could build on that. As for theists, the original statement is closer to their beliefs. For true accuracy, I guess it'd be, "You're lucky that God made you".
What I'm trying to say is that if I wasn't who I was, I'd be... someone else. And then I wouldn't think about how lucky other people were, maybe. I might even agree that I was lucky.
Maybe the universal statement is "You're lucky you're an individual". Or even "You're lucky the universe exists".

 

by Rince
2-16-07
Yesterday, my brain took an overdose of retarded: I looked on Bebo. In the half-hour of of browsing that ensued, my opinion of several people took a sharp nosedive.
Haha. I use MySpace. Somehow the chavs are filtered out.
WHY do people type and spell like handicapped walrii?
Haha, I don't know, but people continue to invite me to it. I think that it'd now be foolish and hypocritical to join it and be all sarcastic. Plus, nobody would get the joke.
True story.
The other day, I asked someone to "luk ta ma bebo" and he asked me for a link. I think this just proves it.
Tell him you'd rather keep your self-esteem.

 

by Rince
2-16-07
My parents either think I'm asexual, or don't care about my sexuality.
It's weird, because I admire all too many beautiful women, yet nobody notices.
I'm not just going to come out with anything, like "Hey! She's hot!" because it would just be so awkward, and it'd seem gratuitous. I don't know what they'd think.
So I leave subtle hints, but my family don't seem to have noticed.
I'm sure they'd believe me if I told them I was gay. But I won't. Afterwards, it would surely be amazingly funny, but no. I wouldn't.
Overall, it's good. Because, for instance, last Sunday I watched The Day After Tomorrow, and nobody realised that this was just because of Emmy Rossum is hot.

 

by Rince
2-19-07
Not that I'm starting a band, or anything, he's talking to someone else.
In your band, you should have a big fat guy like the lead singer of Bowling For Soup.
And I quote:
Dude, that guy's not the lead singer, he's the bassist. Wait, I mean the gui-
HE'S THE GUITARIST YOU THICK SHIT YOU DON'T EVEN LIKE BOWLING FOR SOUP
The bottom line here is: Don't listen to Bowling For Soup. Their lyrics are blunt and boring, and their music is pop-punk. Also, this guy is a douche and he likes them.

 

by Rince
2-24-07
The leading powerful countries are becoming alienated!
By robots, no less!
At least, this is what Iy'll turn out as war-mongering,y'll turn out as war-mongering, reckless being reckless being am lead to believe.
Because, of all the creations on Earth, robots seem the most likely to take over the Earth.
I'm sure they'll turn out as war-mongering, reckless beings that do anything they can to obtain the oil they need to survive.
We'll become slaves under their laws, reduced to pawns in what we will fashion ourselves, a reign of social and political terror. At least, I'm TOLD that these robots will be politically competent.

 

by Rince
2-24-07
I'm currently deciding whether or not to give up on watching comedy TV altogether.
It's the same with comedy movies.
I see them as being crafted by people with some creativity, then bastardised with bad jokes and clichés, with promotions that appeal to the lower-to-middle classes.
They're products of commercialism, money-making pieces of 'art', with no true purpose other than to sell, sell, sell, to an audience that I don't want to be part of.
And advertising to the target audience is highlighting one-line innuendos, slapstick, and a quick glimpse of the plot - dysfunctional family, odd couple, strange profession are all guaranteed ratings.
Admittedly, South Park and Futurama are awesome. South Park obviously, but I don't know about Futurama. It got cancelled didn't it? Yeah, that can be my argument.

 

by Rince
2-26-07
Rince, I'm going to the supermarket. Do you want me to buy anything?
Don't you get the feeling that Supermarkets are just big organisations of compulsory consumerism that feed on our hard-earned cash to keep their businesses alive?
Have you been reading Cat and Girl again?
...Yes. Get some tinned ravioli.

 

by Rince
2-26-07
Today, in RE, my teacher referred to me as an atheist without even confirming this first! A STRONG atheist at that! I assume this was due to the constant RELIGIOUS cynicism in my work.
Notice the stress on RELIGIOUS. Theists make some valid points, usually. But agnosticism is the way to go, because one can NEVER be sure. It's irrational; both sides present valid theories.
I mean, either way could be possible. That's the end of it. I feel vaguely insulted, because the term atheist jumps to conclusions about my character, and assumes that I am arrogant.
Being agnostic is being open to both entirely possible sides of the argument. Lean to one side, sure. But you can't KNOW, damnit.
And thus, I proudly present my status as an agnostic atheist.
While I can still be critical of religions, I can denounce their faiths with logical reasons rather than with reasons based on "There is no God". Hurrah!

 

by Rince
2-26-07
Sorry if this doesn't work.
In the past year or so the poor political state of the country has snuck up and caught me off guard.
Before, I was ignorantly happy with my Weezer CDs and Sky One's Simpsons repeats.
I figured I'd commit myself to writing what I came up with while on caffeine.
Now we're at war. Suburbia suddenly feels tainted. TAINTED!
We're still gaining debt money from poor African countries.
Tomorrow I will realise that I should've read the coffee machine properly. But maybe you found this amusing!
I'd feel less guilty if Earth was one communist state, and yet I'm happy as the relative borgeois, in Suburbia.
I want you to think about this: Is ignorance bliss?

 

by Rince
2-26-07
After thinking about part 1, I couldn't help going back to the big questions.
"What if I'm the only concious being?" It'd eliminate selfishnes, really. It'd be morally acceptable, for me.
Overall, I'm hopelessly agnostic as a philosopher as well.
I don't know the nature of the universe. Neither do you.
And here's the thing: The mere action of wondering whether I'm the only being in existence is enough to make me revert to my human nature, and show some compassion.
So you'll rescue me? Woo, I think.

 

by Rince
2-28-07
People don't get the irony in my strip.
I don't like generic comedy media much, but here's a comic by an ALTER EGO who is a freaking NINJA.
Therefore, the views expressed are obviously not my true and honest opinion. They will be based around it, but they're never fully serious.
Notice that I'm middle-class. This is just pretentious.
Here is a comment so OBVIOUSLY in self-mockery that it's untrue.
I am mocking myself, and I don't need you to do this for me.
I mean COME ON. I don't see how you can think a comic is serious if I contradict myself in the final panel.
OK, this bit's somewhat true, but it sets me up for the final panel, proving that I am in fact the target audience for some markets.
I. Contradict. Myself. "Yeah, that can be my argument." I mean... what the hell. What the HELL.

 

by Rince
3-03-07
This song is called "A short string ostinato with drones escaping from the city of Claremont, or...
I looked into his eyes and saw the fires spiral out of control, taking with them forests and people and cities, or...
HELP SUFJAN STEVENS HAS IMPRISONED ME IN HIS CELLAR AND IS FORCING ME TO WRITE TITLES FOR A 43-SECOND STRING INSTRUMENTAL CALL THE POLICE, or...
How to-" Wait a minute. Press conference over.

 

--> If you are reading this, I failed.
by Rince, 3-04-07

 

I hate this website and its inability to delete comics.
by Rince, 3-04-07

 

by Rince
3-09-07
Redneck in Britain; I'm not kidding you. I know a trinity of retarded: redneck, stupid fatman, ignorant fatman.
So we're gonna tip that Robin Reliant over tonight?
Yeah, that'll be right funny. We're proper 'ard.
Subtitle: Town mayor says: "AHAHAHAHA they totally deserved that!"
'Ey, we might be in the [local newspaper]!
I can see the headline: Car crushes pair of retarded local hooligans.
Of course, explaining how it is possible to tip a car over, avoiding possibility of getting crushed was beyond them.
The obligatory moral of the story is clear in the fact that they didn't do it. Of course.
We proceeded to have a one-way argument which I didn't start, about the perils of polarising actions of good and bad. I won by default.

 

by Rince
3-13-07
He'll put it in at risk of antagonising rednecks.
OK, OK. In that scene where the protagonist fights a monkey, he can tell it to "Hurry up and evolve"!
Whoa, whoa! Slow down, Rince!
He'll put it in at risk of antagonising rednecks.
OK, OK. In that scene where the protagonist fights a monkey, he can tell it to "Hurry up and evolve"!
Whoa, whoa! Slow down, Rince!
He'll put it in at risk of antagonising rednecks.
OK, OK. In that scene where the protagonist fights a monkey, he can tell it to "Hurry up and evolve"!
Whoa, whoa! Slow down, Rince!

 

by Rince
3-13-07
Rince has been bequethed a certain power that perhaps should have been given to someone less bitter.
Hey, Tam.
Hello there Rince! How are you?
I'm not going to explain it. Have you seen that one movie, 'It's a Wonderful Life'? Rince seems to have misinterpreted it.
Ehh. Can't complain... at least, not any further than usual. You?
I am OK. But the girl I... I think she's pretty! She is going out with Tyler. I feel very sad!
OK, bear with me on the storyline.
... You know what? I've entertained this idea for a long time. I want to re-educate people on the meaning of our existence. I'm going to take you on a journey, Tam.
Sounds fun! Interesting! Please could I be back by hometime though? I have to catch the bus, and then Deal or No Deal is on.

 

by Rince
3-13-07
It's important to remember that while Tam has a definite perception of the world, Tam is naive and somewhat ignorant.
Here we are on an inexplicable vessel looking down upon Earth.
Wow! It looks very big!
Of course, Rince will try to imrove Tam's mind throughout.
Yeah, hopefully I'll stop you from saying stuff like this by the time we've done.
Ok! We can't see England from here can we? I think that is Africa. No, it is America! Are we really in space?
In the atheist side of my mind, I don't believe in aliens. In my theist side, who knows?
The point is, Tam, that it puts into perspective the insignificance of your life - but if I showed you the entire universe, we may be the only life-forms present! Now, do we have progress?
Wow! The universe is really big! I'm sure we can't be the only things in it, because it's such a big place to live and... and look at all the aliens people see!

 

by Rince
3-14-07
Acrobat Reader! Haha, what's up with that?! I'm all like, OK, open up this ebook, so I can copy that quote to flame this noob - but WTF? I can't open the program, let alone copy!
LOLOLOL ROFLROFL LUHMAO
And don't even get me started on Real Player! Let's create a frequently-used media file, and provide free software for it - then make it cost! OH NO WHAT IS THIS REAL AlTERNATIVE WE ARE RUINED
ROTFLMAOFOLOL
Haha, and what about Chatzilla, guys? Why not create an IRC program for Firefox fanboys with practically no customisation, and really stupid emoticons?
lolol... Dude, wait. CAHTZILLA PWNZ

 

THIS SCENE THIS SCENE, IT'S A GOD! DAMN! ARSE! FACE!
by Rince, 3-24-07

 

by Rince
4-05-07
Michael Jackson! Hahahahahaaa!
Paris Hilton! Hahahahahaha!
Gary Glitter! Hahahahahaaa!
Tom Cruise! Hahahahahaha!
Carolus Linaeus! Hahahahahaaa!
Seriously. He calls parts of clams "pubes", "hymen" and "vulva", and a genus of plants "Clitoria". Hahahaha!

 

by Rince
5-31-07
The aftermath of this was that I realised, but didn't regret, the existential crisis that I had at around the same time I made my comics on here.
It was pretty major stuff. My hours of lonely thought were dominated by the 'big questions', and in the end I came out of it a nihilist.
I can't say I fully reject all purpose and moral, because I might be wrong. I came out of the crisis with the same stuff I went in to it with. I just don't know what the hell is happening.
I know it's impossible to figure anything out, but I still go back to this state of mind. My status is more 'pensive' than 'obsessive', so really everything is alright now.
If you're still interested, I documented the results of it here. And so, I mark the end of my comic.
This was regrettable, because people (understandably) missed the point. I spoke my feelings through another mouth and... well, I guess it's funny in places. Thanks for reading.

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