All comics by Riparian

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by Riparian
11-08-03
Somewhere under the sea...
I think we've passed by these fish before!
Damnit... thats twice! Now I'm sure of it! He has no idea where we're going...
You Bastard!!!!!!!! Did you just fart?

 

by Riparian
11-08-03
...
...
Hey Mister! Did you know the entire left side of your body has been cut off?
Yeah... but I'm all Right now!
Dumb son-of-a-bitch!

 

by Riparian
11-08-03
Once there was a ghost...
RARRRRR!
Who thought he was popular...
hey... where did everybody go?
Turns out he was'nt a ghost at all... just a misplaced fart.
I'm gunna take my ectoplasam and go home!
THPBPBPBPT!

 

by Riparian
11-08-03
When your a kid and you wanna go Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! but you aint got Drugs yet....
You hold on for your life! You hold on to your.... Little.... Gonads!
Gonads and Strife... Gonads and Strife... Gonads and Strife... Gonads and Strife... Gonads and Strife... Gonads in the LIGHTNING... IN THE LIGHTNING!
Hey! I got those gonads you wanted. Right here, in this... um... cup. You know I don't actually have opposable thumbs.
Strife...

 

by Riparian
11-09-03
G-CYPHER:: TROJANHORSE:: ROOT::PASSWORD:: REINDEER_FLOTILLA:: GROUP_6_ACCESS:: DIRECTORY::
!!!OMG!!! P0RN!!!
fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap
Roxxors!

 

by Riparian
11-09-03
Nemo! There's a monsterous "fish eating" tentacle behind you!
I'm not going to fall for that old trick
Lucky fin my ass.

 

by Riparian
11-09-03
Black Mesa Complex
Gordon! great to see you! Ummm... Gordon... why are'nt you wearing any pants? I know about the delays... and don't get me started on STEAM, but that's no reason to sit around all day doing nothing!
I'm guessing he does'nt see the Headcrab behind him...
Guess not. Now, where the hell did I put my crowbar?

 

by Riparian
11-10-03
In a cost cutting effort, SBC has switched from Human techs to robot ones.
So, yer here to fix my DSL?
YES PERIOD PERIOD PERIOD PLEASE SHOW ME WHERE YOUR MODEM IS LOCATED EXCLIMATION POINT
HERE IS THE PROBLEM COMMA THE MODEM SUPPLIED BY YOUR ISP IS BAD PERIOD
Bullshit! I got this modem from you! In fact my ISP gave me a 'known good' modem to test with and it still did not work!
FINE EXCLIMATION POINT WE WILL REPLACE YOUR MODEM PERIOD BUT COMMA WE WILL HAVE TO CHARGE YOU FOR IT PERIOD
I'm going to find a part of your body that you cannot reach and spit on you till you rust to death!

 

by Riparian
11-10-03
mIRC join #VRM
HF|US_RastaSaf puts a duck on Blah's head!
Hi.... I'm here to sit on your head... Rasta sent me.
..sigh..

 

by Riparian
11-10-03
http://www.pyramid.net/riparian/blix.htm
So, do you want to play BLiX again?
Screw you Spaceman! I'm only here for the bananas!

 

by Riparian
11-13-03
Weapons Grade Stupidity happens when a user has such a low...
**Thank you for calling Tech support this is Brian How can I help you?**
I'm sorry, this is my third call and I'm still having trouble connecting.
understanding of how computers and technology work...
**What seems to be the trouble?**
It's just not connecting. I really don't know how to use this stupid thing!!! I just want to throw it out the window!!!
it can cause physical harm to surrounding people.
**Well, I know we checked all the settings in the control panel. Why don't you go back to your desktop?**
Oh! Maybe that's the problem I don't have a desktop. The computer is on the floor.

 

by Riparian
11-14-03
**Hello, thanks for calling Tech Support. How can I help you?**
Yes, this is Mrs. Nairapir on the third floor.
**How can we be of assistance, Mrs. Nairapir?**
I wanted to ask another favor. One of your techs was here last week to help me to back up the files on my computer.
**Do you need to restore files that were backed up?**
No, no. I thought it was a good idea, that's all. I was wondering if perhaps you could help me back up the printer too?

 

by Riparian
12-04-03
http://www.chunky.com/click_for_cans.asp
What'cha doing?
Surfing the Campbell's website... everytime I choose my favorite NFL team, Campbells will donate a can of soup to a local food bank!
You know you chose the team that is listed as least popular on that website?
But I like the Arizona Cardinals!
Dumbass!
Go Cards!

 

by Riparian
12-05-03
So what do you think about George W. Bush?
Well, ya know, Bush is a 'post turtle'.
What's a post Turtle?
When you're driving down a country road,and you come across a fence post with a turtle balanced on top, that's a post turtle.
...
You know he didn't get there by himself, he doesn't belong there, he can't get anything done while he's up there, and you just want to help the poor dumb bastard get down.

 

by Riparian
8-03-05
Brian writes a SPUFI
Looks like you're trying to write up a SPUFI!
Oh Gawd... ignore him maybe he'll go away.
Still here!
Shoot me now.

 

by Riparian
8-03-05
We had NO air-conditioning! There was crazy loud wind. A nasty smell was everywhere and we did not have ANY alcohol...
uh huh...
And the worst part was the devastation! The destruction! All of these thing culminated with the worst possible thing in the world happening!
people died?
Hurricane Emily takes another victim.
NO! They gave me carrots for breakfast!
GAH!!!!

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