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| I hate life. My parents died last week. | |
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| You think you have it tough? My parents died right in front of me. | |
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| That's no big deal. My father shot my mother, then turned the gun on himself. | |
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| Pfft. I personally killed both my parents while high on various pills I was talking to ease the pain of my recent car accident. | |
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| "Extreme Tragedy." There's one for ESPN. | |
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| Yeah? Well my father locked me in a steel coffin after I saw him kill mom...and THEN he shot himself. I had to gnaw through the metal. | |
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