All comics by Rodya

 

by Rodya
1-01-05
I'm bored.
Fuck, Jesus! All you ever do is complain!
Hey, watch your fucking mouth you little red-assed faggot! I'm the fucking Son of God!
By the way, your balls are showing.
Kazam!
THAT'S IT!
You're an asshole!

 

by Rodya
1-01-05
Jesus, this is the third time this week!
Fuck!
By the way Jesus, what's the purpose of life?
To die.
Oh.
Do you have to give me a ticket? I mean, I am wearing a diaper!

 

by Rodya
1-01-05
Jesus, have you ever had a homosexual experience?
No.
My boyfriend has, though.
I see.
Idiot.

 

by Rodya
1-02-05
Hey Luc, I like that knew tie you have on!
Hey, thanks Jesus! You're the only one who's actually noticed!
Really? No it's really great! Love the colour! I just have one question.
Yes?
Do they make them for men?
Every time!

 

by Rodya
1-02-05
You know what? It's not that bad here. It's always nice and warm, there's always a lot to look at...
Yep, I think I'm actually starting to like being here!
Alright Jesus, it's 6:00. Time for your daily rectal exam!
I hate this fucking place!

 

by Rodya
1-02-05
Excuse me Jesus, there's a boy here to see you. He has a problem and he needs your counsel.
Alright, send him in.
Hello Jesus.
Hello young man, what seems to be the problem?
Well, Jesus, I think I'm gay.
You know, you should talk to my friend Moses. He's an expert in this field.

 

by Rodya
1-03-05
Good evening ladies and gentlemen! Welcome to the show!
Well, I see a lot of Priests in the audience tonight. Lucky for me, I didn't bring my son tonight!
BOOOO!!!
Hey, come on! That's gold! Seriously though, the daycare is the next building over.

 

by Rodya
1-03-05
Alright Jesus, for me to ghost-write your autobiography, I'll need to know a little bit about your daily routine.
Well, I wake up around 8am, and then I pretty much just hang here all day.
Feel free to take a few creative liberties.

 

by Rodya
1-03-05
Sometimes I wish I was just a regular guy instead of Jesus, The Son of God.
But then I just remind myself of the perks that come with this job.
Such as?
Angelic groupies!

 

by Rodya
1-03-05
I'm just running to the store. Do you need anything, Jesus?
There's a few things.
Gauze, Band-aids, some rubbing alcohol, a small saw, Polysporin, and bolt cutters.
Is that all?
And a Diet Coke.

 

by Rodya
1-08-05
The Parole Hearing: Part I
So, Mr. Christ, what do you think you would do if you were released from hell?
I don't know. Probably get down from this cross and stretch out a bit. Maybe take a vacation.
And do you feel you've been adequately punished?
Absolutely!
Believe me, I only need to be sodomised once!

 

by Rodya
1-08-05
The Parole Hearing: Part II
Alright, Mr. Christ, I've just been reviewing your 2000-year term here in hell and I want to make sure I've got all the information.
Okay.
So so far, you've suffered 8504 hours of Chinese Water Torture, 1257 hours of Indigo Flame Skin Resurfacing, and 17459 hours of sodomy. Did I miss anything?
Yes...
But I think you've got the just of it.

 

by Rodya
4-06-05
What do you call a nose with legs?
A Jew!
Boooooo!
You people wouldn't know a good joke if it nailed you to a two-by-four!

 

by Rodya
11-11-05
Luc, do you think I'm getting a little...porky?
I don't see how Jesus. We don't feed you anything.
Well actually I've been eating the inside of my mouth for a couple hundred years now.
That's why I love you Jesus. You make my job easy.
Mmmm, there's a good chunk!

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