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| My name is Dan. I own this comic. | |
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| My name is Scott. I look like this because Dan couldn't find a better picture of me. | |
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| I'm Craig. I have no other purpose than to annoy the hell out of Dan. | |
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| I'm Aubree. I'm just friends with Dan. | |
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| My name is Brandon. I'm a wanna-be pimp. | |
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| I'll introduce other characters as they show up. Now, on with the comic. | |
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