Home Improvers by Smileypen10-07-02 According to these instructions, we need a hammer, some nails, and a bunch of lumber to build the door... Well, I got the hammer and nails... Before we get started, we should go over some safety procedures eeeerrrrrrrrkk!!! TWO HOURS LATER... Well, what do ya know! I saved $200 on wood!
Bug Off by Smileypen10-08-02 We find our hero with a letter rom the homeowner's association... Hey, so what's the word? Crap...how am I gonna explain this to him? Uh...it's like this, see...I thought about it, and since I can only have one pet, and my cat makes less of a mess... No, wait! (eergh) It's not my fault! (uugh) They don't allow bugs! Messy? How dare he! I don't even poop in the house!
Aw, Heck by Smileypen10-08-02 Bug calls the priest to hear his confession... You wanted to see me, my...uh...child? Yes, Father. Come on in and close the door. I got a little upset when Bill said he couldn't keep me as a pet. So I put him in the trash and rolled him into the lake. Now he's dead, and I'm feeling rather guilty about it. Can I be absolved? Oh, you are SO going to hell for this, you pest! The next morning... .........fuck me You're MINE!!! WAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
Jimmy the Loudmouth by Smileypen12-23-04 Damn, these hemmorhoids are killing me. TMI, dude! Man, the itching and burning...I can't take this shit much longer! It's like someone pulled the pin on a grenade and shoved it down my shorts! I'm gonna kill this motherfucker if he doesn't shut the fuck up. AAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAUGH! JIMMY! WHY, GOD, WHY?!?