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| Your boxers are older than your date. | |
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| This is the pussy you most want to pet. | |
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| You have more hair in your ears than on your head. | |
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| Gay men stop hitting on you, right Gabe? | |
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| Your tattoo is viewed as a historic work of art. | |
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| You include a set of gardener's kneepads in your "love kit" for comfort. | |
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