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| Hello, welcome to the national news! Our top story tonight, a giant brain eating alien is on its way to conquer Earth! | |
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| But first, let's get our word from our operative, Barry Well, out and about talking to a notorious Weef Gang member to waste a minute of our time! | |
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| This is Barry Well with Chris Hull. Chris, what do you think about cheesecake? | |
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| There you have it folks! The weef keeps going on! The good news is, Kate, since I'm a male, I'll make 5x your salary forever. | |
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| If his wife wasn't cheating on him with me, I would be angry. | |
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