All comics by Vex_Blackheart

Profile

 

by Vex_Blackheart
5-12-03
Hey suzy...
Uh...My names not...
Can you change my diaper?
No.
THEN DIE!
Uh...

 

by Vex_Blackheart
5-13-03
Gimme all of you meat or I shoot you.
Gimme all of you meat or I shoot you.

 

by Vex_Blackheart
5-13-03
Welp, Going to work Catus. Try not to break stuff.
Then then he says to me... "Blah Blah Blah."

 

by Vex_Blackheart
5-13-03
Some day tentacle creatures will inslave humanity...
... And when that day comes I'll be the first to welcome our new masters.

 

by Vex_Blackheart
5-13-03
...so in conclusion, all animals can talk we just choose not to.
Please dont peck my eyes out.

 

by Vex_Blackheart
5-13-03
Yo, Can I have some some chicken Mc Nuggets?
Sir, this is Wendy's... We don't have "McNuggets"
Gimme yo' shoes

 

by Vex_Blackheart
5-13-03
Okay Catus, you watch the Robo-Factory while I make a smatich.
Dude, I am so high right now.

 

by Vex_Blackheart
5-13-03
Dude, you are like standing REALLY close to me.
Okay, okay. I'm sorry...

 

by Vex_Blackheart
5-13-03
Whats that matter Ann?
Well Tak, I can't get that sexy Vex outa my head...
Aparently CR wants to have your children.
Ace, you so crazy!
TEH BOOBIES! TEH BOOBIES!

 

by Vex_Blackheart
5-13-03
Hello. Thank you for ordering "The Secret to Success"! I shall tell you a few ways to improve your life.
...and after you complete steps 13a through 47f you need to re-evaluate your fiscal feelings. Or you could just sit in a garbage can.

 

by Vex_Blackheart
5-13-03
What the computer says to the chair when you are away.
You smell like ass...

 

by Vex_Blackheart
5-13-03
...and then Mary says to me she says...
OH MY GOD! WHAT IS THAT THING?

 

by Vex_Blackheart
5-13-03
I WILL INSLAVE ALL HUMANS
Stop looking at me...

 

by Vex_Blackheart
5-13-03
Oh, Catus! I need you to watch the store while I change into a dress for tonight's ball.
AHHHHH!

 

by Vex_Blackheart
5-13-03
Long ago, Catus met the ruler of the flame...
...and for saving my baby from those ninjas I grant you the power of Fire.
Dude, I can like set things on fire now...
Moo?
MOOO!

 

by Vex_Blackheart
5-13-03
What are you gona do with one-hundred snakey cakes?
If I were you I'd bring them home right away. You never know what could happen...
Phasers on stun...

 

by Vex_Blackheart
5-13-03
I'm an evil genius.
Please don't peck my eyes out.

 

by Vex_Blackheart
5-13-03
Don kIck dA HoRsy!
Yes...
agreed...
I HATE YOU!

 

by Vex_Blackheart
5-14-03
Late one night Profesor Nuto went a'searching for a some brains in the local graveyard...
He was so happy...

 

by Vex_Blackheart
5-14-03
Mrs. Beesly is a very old lady.
Bobby? Bobby is that you?
Bobby?
*Brrring*
Are you my mommy?
BOBBY!

 

by Vex_Blackheart
5-14-03
You DO know I could kill you with a mear thought, don't you?
I just couldnt do it Mr. Buttmonkey... I think I'm losing it man. I'M FREAK'N LOSING IT!

 

by Vex_Blackheart
5-14-03
Dude, it was this big!
Swear to god.
Never trust an alien. NEVER!

 

by Vex_Blackheart
5-14-03
Whatever you do... don't look behind you.
Welcome to my nightmare.
Dude, I said DON'T.

 

by Vex_Blackheart
5-14-03
Nothing to see here... move along now.
I'M A NINJA!
We will find you...
...we will destroy you.

 

by Vex_Blackheart
5-14-03
Profesor Nuto interacts with his newest invention.
...and so you see, Cargo is sent by ship and a Shipment is sent by Car.
~PROCESSING...

 

by Vex_Blackheart
5-14-03
Nine-hundred and ninety-nine. Nine-hundred and ninety-eight. Nine hundred and ninety-four...
Two hours later...
Three, five, two, two and a half... One!
You were suposed to hide.
Dude, I am so high...

 

by Vex_Blackheart
5-14-03
...duck season.
Wow, I was like totaly somewhere else just then. I'm sorry what were you saying?

 

by Vex_Blackheart
5-14-03
That damn Fudd guy is really ticking me off...
I mean he follows me around all the time holding his gun and he's always shoving weird things in my rabbit hole...
I wouldn't tell that anyone else if I were you.

 

by Vex_Blackheart
5-14-03
I think we took a wrong turn at Albqurque...
Uh oh...
I represent Warner Brothers/Time Warrner/AOL and you are in direct violation of copyright laws. I am going to have to destroy you both. Terribly sorry, old chap.

 

by Vex_Blackheart
5-14-03
Felis Cattus, is your taxonomic nomenclature, an endothermic quadruped carnivorous by nature? Your visual, olfactory and auditory senses contribute to your hunting skills, and natural defenses.
A tail is quite essential for your acrobatic talents; you would not be so agile if you lacked its counterbalance. And when not being utilized to aide in locomotion, it often serves to illustrate...
...the state of your emotion... Uh oh.

 

by Vex_Blackheart
5-14-03
Dude, you need stop touching yourself, it's wrong.
I can't Mr. twenty-eight. I can't.
Well, well, well. Ow are ya lil' bugg'a? Ow are ya then?

 

by Vex_Blackheart
5-15-03
Hey! I have extra hotdogs back at my place, you want smoe?
What the hell is a Smoe?
A typo you jackass...

 

by Vex_Blackheart
5-15-03
Vex works in tech support. All day he talks to real estate agents who need help. Vex is real, these calls are real...
Um, The computer says to press okay to continue... duh, what shoudl I do?!
Vex: ... I don't think I've ever run into this one before. I'm going out on a limb here but I think you should press "Ok".
Vex: ...
Okay I did that, Now it says to insert disk two... Should I take out disk one first?

 

by Vex_Blackheart
5-15-03
Look at this fine animal.
Standing on two legs and everything...
OOOh Look... A Cheesebuger!

 

by Vex_Blackheart
5-15-03
Here you go big fella! Eat up!
Wow. Grass can't hold a candle to this deliciousness... I must have more of this wonderful meat!
hehehe.
That is wrong on so many levels...

 

by Vex_Blackheart
5-15-03
One week later...
How could I have caused the downfall of civilization?
Dude, just follw me man.
Mmmm... Juicy meat.
Did that bull just eat that entire cow?
Who's next man? Who's next?

 

by Vex_Blackheart
5-16-03
Whoooo! Who wants to party? RAISE YOUR HANDS IN THE AIR!
You can't move your arms can you?
No. This is pretty much it.

 

by Vex_Blackheart
5-16-03
Why must they put this damn "R.I.P." on us? Can't thay spell it out? Or even put the guys name on it for christ's sake!
I believe the prettiest rainbow leads to a magical sea.
That's your answer to everything...

 

by Vex_Blackheart
5-16-03
Hey, Zornak, where did you put the alien cup?
What do mean? The question is: Where did YOU put the ailen cup?!
How DARE you speak to me like that! BOW BEFORE ME!
YOU! YOU MUST BOW BEFORE ME!
Four minutes later...
*blinks*
...wait, what were we talking about?

 

by Vex_Blackheart
5-19-03
Uh... Just who the hell are you?
I'm Santa! Have you been a good boy/girl this year?
Boy/girl? You're another robot assasin arent you? *Sigh*
...
NOW YOU DIE, SANTA!

 

by Vex_Blackheart
5-19-03
Meanwhile...
I swear, this last Robo-Santa assassin will make Santa a memory.
YOU FOOL! No one shall remember that happy, fat bastard!
...please don't yell at me jesus...
I'm sorry XR972, but it's my birthday! Why couldne't he pick another day? It's not fair.
Yes sir. It's terible sir...

 

by Vex_Blackheart
5-19-03
You do know I am very hard to kill, right? Being an alien and all...
*SCANNING*
Well, you sure aren't human...
Would you like to make toys my factoy Mr Robot? There are many other friendly robots working there too.
Really? I can make toys? The killing can end... the killing can finally end.

 

by Vex_Blackheart
5-19-03
This is where we clone all of the dolls for the children. Before wrapping, we bash in the doll's heads in so they become lifeless toys...
I see.
...and this is where we disect robot brains for their tasty innerds.
...indeed.
...and this is Santa's personal garden. You can eat the dead from anywhere but right here.
"Don't eat Santa's dead", got it.

 

by Vex_Blackheart
5-19-03
...and then the robot was like, "DIE". And I was all like "dude, chill"...
Does he ever shut up? Blah blah blah...
37 minutes later...
So what can I do ya for Chauncy?
This package came for you today, sir.
It's... It's not from jesus is it? Can you hear ticking? Cus' he's been mad at me for, well, forever ot seems. It all started when...
Just take the damn package you fat bastartd!

 

by Vex_Blackheart
5-19-03
BAH! He still lives? The only way to do something right is to do it yourself.
You... you're actuly going down to earth?
Later...
Jesus CRIST! Oops I mean HOLY SHIT! God damn it- I mean, It's YOU... oh no.
Yes yes yes. Just settle down and tell me where Santa is...
Santa?

 

by Vex_Blackheart
5-19-03
Yes, that big fat bastard who takes all the glory on MY birthday!
Well, I herd he lives at the North pole...
So THATS why the Assassin robots failed! All that magnetic interference!
...robots?
Did you know that if you re-arange the letters in Santa you get Satan!?
N-n-no your lord ship...

 

by Vex_Blackheart
5-20-03
Then why haven't I ever seen you and Satan in the same room huh?!
I bring hapyness to boys and girls every year!
Prove it.
Okay follow me

 

by Vex_Blackheart
5-20-03
Where are we?
Deep under ground... Now be quiet. *ahem* SATAN! I'VE FINALY DECIDED TO JOIN EVIL!
OMG
Tune in next week for the stunning conclusion!
*POOF* Really?!

 

by Vex_Blackheart
5-21-03
I HATE YOU!
GOD DAMNIT, I HATE YOU!
I HATE YOU SO GOD DAMN MUCH!

 

by Vex_Blackheart
7-31-03
Why... You're naked!
Well I am wearing a hat.
...sure is hot today.

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