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| Hello, young man, aren't you supposed to be in bed while I come and bring you presents? | |
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| Yes, but due to my fragile emotional state I need reassurance that in this cruel world, there is kindness and hope. | |
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| I cannot provide that for you, my son. | |
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| Because I'm not Santa, I have a gun, and I just took a big crap in your stocking. Now hand over your scrotum!! | |
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