All comics by a_comic_stripper

 

Marlon Perkins sez: "Let us observe the mating rituals of the INTP outside his natural habitat."
Would you like to come up for...er...coffee?
Uh, no thanks, I have coffee at home...
But this my own special blend!
It's getting kinda late...I gotta set the VCR for the Dr. Who marathon tonight.
Why do I have the feeling something big just passed me by?
Hey, big boy, wouldja like to come up to my nest for an acorn?

 

Howdy, pardner!
Howdy.
Couldn't help noticin' your hoss is gone a-missin'.
She bolted last night. I see you're also short a hoss, friend.
The hosses wouldn't be so skittish if we had more women folk in these parts.
Reckon so.

 

Howdy, pardner!
Howdy.
Winter nights on the plains sure do get mighty lonesome!
Reckon so.
Hold me.

 

Howdy, pardner!
Howdy.
Say, I had a devil of a time squeezing into my bull denims this morning. How do you stay so fit?
I use the Hollywood Celebrity Diet endorsed by Erin Gray of "Battlestar Galatica" fame, friend.
Damn, I gotta order me that diet. Just thinking about Erin Gray makes me chafe my chaps.
Personally, I think her work in "Silver Spoons" was underrated.

 

Howdy, pardner!
Howdy.
Say there, I've been down in the dumps lately - could I bum a few Paxil tablets off you?
I don't put no stock in them there mood-altering substances, friend. Taint right for a God-fearing man to take the likes of those.
Uh, what I meant was...er...my HORSE has been awful depressed, and would be mighty grateful for some Paxil to go with her oats.
Well sure, why didn't you say so in the first place? My horse takes Wellbutrin. Will that be okay?

 

ACTION!
"Howdy, pardner!"
"Where's my horse? I'd give my wife for that horse. I can find another wife easy, but not a horse like that."
CUT!
Mr. Ford, he's not following the script! He's supposed to say "Howdy!"
Oh, hush, you little pissant. If there's one thing Stanislovsky taught me, it's to live in the moment. "Howdy" didn't feel in the moment.
If you two don't stop this, I'm going to replace you with cattle.
That's it. I can't work under these conditions. I'm going to call my agent.
I'm ready for my close up, Mr. Ford.

 

Welcome to the INTP mailing list.
Hey, man, what happened to you?
I'm waiting to be unscribed.
Whoa.
I've been yelling "UNSCRIBE ME NOW!" for the past 9 years. Then a couple of years ago I started threatening lawsuits. I figure that'll scare 'em good and I'll be sprung any day now.
Don't hold your breath, man. Catch you later.
Say, you wouldn't happen to have a ham sandwich on you, would you? The service here is lousy and I'm practically starved to death.

 

Howdy, partner.
Howdy.
Say, this bed ain't big enough for the both of us.
Oh, yeah?
Yeah, last time you stole all the covers. And you went to bed with your spurs on.
Oh, stop! You know you love it when I do that.

 

http://www.autistics.org/skills/pages/askherout.html
Hey there!
Things needed: Pen, Paper, Movie Schedule
Let's go out to a movie this Saturday!
1. Sit down and write the sentence: Would you like to go with me to see _____ on Friday night at ___ (whatever time movie starts)?
I thought we could go see "Rain Man."
?Type Mismatch. Error in 1. Break.

 

Howdy, partner!
Howdy!
How come you ain't a-wearin' those Britney Spears chaps I got for your birthday?
Same reason you ain't a-ridin' that "My Little Pony" saddle I got you last Christmas, I spect.
Sorry, friend. Next time I'll be sure to get you the N'Sync long johns instead.
I want the red "Lance" model with the button fly.

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