All comics by anomieflat

 

Why I am single. by anomieflat 6-03-02
naomi tries to get a date. hi, would you like to date me? you look potentially interesting. no. listen to my freeform poetry: sandwich triangle jazz/toilet leaking spazz	naomi tries again to get a date. hi, would you like to date me? i like your hair. no. i am a famous pop-star. don't you remember A Flock of Seagulls. dumb bitch.	naomi stops trying. i have wreaked havoc on myself and others. fuck me. hmmm...might as well...

 

i'm going to have a cigarette right now by anomieflat 6-03-02
naomi wanders into the cool night air. hello, naomi. i am your only friend. hello hallucinated cigarette man. you look very smokable.	I know you feel alone in the world, and i want you to know that i care. i bet you taste realllly good.	I'm here to let you know that you are loved, and that there is a meaning to life and it is- I want you in my mouth. I will suck you long and hard.

 

Why does every man i meet have an asian fetish? by anomieflat 6-03-02
when i met jesus hi jesus. i don't really follow you, but i think some of your teachings are really nice. thanks. you mean like "judge not lest ye be judged"?	yeah, exactly. i think that's really beautiful. and how about "asian girls like it up the ass"	um...no, not so much that one. come on you little slut, when i get down from here i'm gonna...

 

Some things were meant to happen by anomieflat 6-03-02
I could eat his head what did I do with my nail?	I bet it would be delicious. the salty taste of fresh blood, red stains all over me ... have you seen my nail?	no, i better not eat his head. i will leave it carefully in tact. oh, here it is, right in my head, how silly.

 

Racial Harmony by anomieflat 6-04-02
Hi there. I'm asian and you're black - we have a lot in common. We're both minorities, who know what it's like to be subjected to racism and stereotypes.	I was just wondering...do you have a really big dick? um...do you love being submissive and taking it up the ass?	We should have sex - right now. I couldn't agree more.

 

It's not every day you meet a pimp. by anomieflat 6-04-02
an offer i don't want to refuse... Hey there, i think i could use you. You mean, you'd let me be one of your whores? JOY!	But of course I'd have to a "test you out", if you know what i mean. Sure, that sounds fine, why don't you come to my spaceship?	What the fuck, bitch?! I'm a grey. I hope that doesn't bother you. Ready for the probe?

 

Love at first sight (is a cliche but true) by anomieflat 6-04-02
first sight HI! i am bear. I love you.	I cannot love you as a woman - I need a creature with big teeth. How's this?	You are bear! Now we can slaughter innocents together. I love you.

 

Lesbian impulses by anomieflat 6-04-02
I go looking for same sex love... Hi, i'm showing my navel and playing with my hair. I choose to wear green and pink together. I have a gaping and ready vagina. sort of tempting, but she kind of looks like my mom on crack.	Hi, I am a vacuous blond, trying hard to think of my name. Have you seen my porn? I don't think she has the brain capacity to be interested in a person emotionally. Maybe I'll rent her porn though.	Hi, I'm also an often fetishized small asian character. Want to be whores together? I am so there.

 

What's worth fighting for? by anomieflat 6-04-02
Here me now Washington! You do nothing for us Robots! Yeah, where the fuck is your robot legislation!	All you do is affect the lives of nameless, faceless people who you care nothing about. Yeah, you pretty much leave us robots alone.	You don't take away our rights or our welfare. You direct all your attention toward using PEOPLE for your own gain. Actually, um...could you ignore her and keep it that way. I'm just realizing how glad I am not to be a person.

 

Penguin Dominatrix by anomieflat 6-05-02
Roger meets a penguin dominatrix... don't you spank me with that, you badbad penguin. what a simple being	you're really a good penguin, i know you are, i know you are. so small and trusting	hey, what the?...Santa, you're really a penguin dominatrix? That's right. Ho Ho Ho, you're on my turf now, and you're in for it little man!

 

Rocketship Adventure by anomieflat 6-05-02
naomi discovers what she thinks is a spaceship I'm going to go for a little adventure.	damnit.	Where the fuck am I? You're surrounded by police and I'm a dog in green striped briefs on a ball - Where the fuck do you think you are?

 

Smashed in with a blunt object by anomieflat 6-06-02
.................................ZAP I can give you anything you want with the zap of my magical gun. could I have a really great orgasm?	.................................ZAP I can bring world peace, the end of famine - anything - with a zap of my magical gun. Um, I've always kind of wondered what an alien cock would feel like - in my ass, y'know...	the greys give up on humanity ...i've always fantasized about AlienSex, like... Why do humans think with their genitals? That's probably why their genitals are so well protected, while their heads are just begging to be smashed in with a blunt object.

 

derek questions his sexuality (part deux) by anomieflat 6-12-02
an important note Derek used me as Naomi, but I'm actually the other small asian girl. I know, I'm in almost all of Naomi's comics, I don't know how he missed that. I guess we just look alike...	So Derek, you know of course I'm up for sex if you are. My dildo is well-worn and anyhow, I think you're hot. I knew I could count on you Naomi...it's just that I don't even know if I could get it up for a woman, I wouldn't have the first clue what to do.	Well Derek, I would love to guide and

 

derek questions his sexuality (the real part deux) by anomieflat 6-12-02
a preliminary note Derek confused me with you, Naomi I know, it's because all Asian people look the same.	So derek, my dildo is well-worn and I'm super ready to have sex with you I know, Naomi...it's just that I don't know if I can get it up for a woman, and I don't know what to do with a woman	I think I could help you with those problems - I love guiding men (and i've always fantasized about sleeping with a gay man) I am Pete, Derek's roomate who will prevent the sex with my psychotronic waves - shadow government aaaabljasldfoaie!

 

Fingerpuppets by anomieflat 6-12-02
Two of my fingers smoked up... When I'm feeling blue, all I like to do... ...is eat my own poo?	yeah! and play with penis goo... ...and start a military coup...	...or maybe it's me that smoked up, and my fingers aren't really talking... ...and pretend i'm a kangaroo ...AND BE A FINGERPUPPET!

 

One-night Stand by anomieflat 8-17-02
I met this cute guy on the street... preeteeee asian girl, uuuuh.... Hi, I'm Naomi. Can I follow you home? You look sexy.	So I went to his house... At home in the aquarium, I grow big! Behold my knife! I'm going to eat you. you grow big and you're going to eat me? um, yeah, sounds good...	I'm not back yet... Can I nail you to that big wooden cross over there? wow, you're kind of kinky - are you going to nail me on top of that long-haired hippy?

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