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| This contest, unlike previous ones, shall edify the mind and lift the spirit. Required elements include: | |
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| 1. At least one background depicting a beautiful natural setting, which you must name. For example: Here we are in Fresh Kills Landfill. | |
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| 2. At least one appearance of one of God's majestic creatures. Like me, the majestic whatever the fuck I am. | |
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| 3. At least one reference (not necessarily visual) to a figure from non-Judaeo-Christian mythology. Like me, Quetzlcoatl. | |
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| Dang, that IS edifying. Oh, one last requirement: | |
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| 4. The phrase, "your mother likes it that way," or similar. | |
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