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| ahem. As some of you are aware, I have commissioned the assassination of the major news media. This might take some of you by surprise, but it is for the greater good | |
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| In our top storys tonight... the major news media is dead. Long live the truth. And now over to Surly for the weather | |
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| Tonight's weather looks cloudy with a possible chance of bloodstorms left over from the purging front that is sweeping down from the north and eliminating the mainstream media | |
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