What now, festering scrotum jism hydrant? In what twisted way have you once again shamed the family name, penial wart of a son?
It's this girl...
Oh?! Hah hah hah! Hypnotise and drag her in to your lair, bound and gag the bitch, then make with the whoopy with a thousand tentacles in every hole until she sneezes jizz
*Sniff* I love you pop..
Get the fuck away from me you wretched little puke stain and go make me proud. *Sigh* my boy all grown up.
Oh pops! It was wonderful. *Burp* I can still taste the BBQ sauce.
Ah, my bloated bag of festering cock millk, your first date. Of course it was nothing like that with your mother and I.
She a beautiful Japanese school girl - I was just a strapping young tentacle monster in the forbidden swamp. It was surely fate that brought us together, but it was my tentacles that ripped her apart.
*Sniff* Oh pops, that's story's so romantic it always makes me cry.
SILENCE! Grovelling tumour of quivering effluence, or I'll cut you to bloody ribbons with razor sharp claws like I did your mothers parents!
Ho ho ho, Ancient Evil Overlord, I haven't spoken to you in a thousand years! Coming over to reign evil destruction? Excellent, my master.
*yak* *yak* *yak*
I'll get the old gang together. Not been on a good rape and murder spree in millennia. Huh? Find your old wife? Give the married life a second chance? Oh yes, now I remember... ah. I gotta go.
*yak* *yak* *yak*
Ah, you're back, unwanted spilled jism junk. Your in trouble now my boy, the unspeakable ancient evil is coming to town. Your funk is whack. I guffaw at your hopeless plight.
Oh dad, your kind words cannot console me. I must face and destroy this ancient one! Witch will be mine!