All comics by el_hijo_del_iris

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Oh man, I just found the funniest thing online. A random poem generator!
What do you do? You just tell it to make one and it does it?
Yup. Check it. "We slowly examine the dark house..." Ha! This stuff makes no sense at all.
That's great! It's completely random and nonsensical. They must have one of those programs that randomly assigns verbs and nouns in preset sentences.
I can't think of what else to write in this poem...how about "And the snakes fight on the small cows?"
I'm sure this is a violation of the penal code.

 

And what exactly do you need this gun for? Home defense? Target practice?
My wife is going to leave me. I think she's having an affair.
So you're going to shoot her?!
Yep, and the guy that she's having the affair with, the desk clerk at their hotel, the neighbors for not telling me, and the druggist for selling them the condoms.
Have you thought about getting a therapist?
What good would shooting a therapist do?

 

At the Polyamory office...
Christ at a Cracker Barrell, god almighty, this place hotter than that TV set I bought off that Mexican at the gas station.
Don't embarass me, Ree-Ree. I'm already jumpier than an Ethiopian drinking caffeine on a trampoline. Oh, here comes our case worker.
Well, doc, did you match us up with a good person to be our rotating lover? I gotta tell you, I'm already wetter than a sponge at an all night car wash.
Well, Mrs. Catfish, Mr. Catfish, no one wanted to answer your ad. People seemed to find you both as appealing as a Celine Dion box set.
I did, however, find one non-person who answered your ad. This Platypus.
Hot dog! Hey guys, let's hurry up and do this. My jock's so hard a midget could do pull ups on it, dig me?

 

At Mormon headquarters: QUEBEC (the real Mormon HQ, not the fake one in Salt Lake City)...
Bruvah Hinckley, I'm back! Is's me, Keef Richuds!
Keith Richards? What are you doing here?
Don' you rememba me, bruvah? I went to church here back in 1963 and you told me to spread the message, so dat's whut I been doin'. Now I'm back, tour's ovuh.
Brother Keith, are you saying that you've been doing missionary work for the Mormons for the last nearly 40 years?
Oh yuh, brovah, I been doin' it missionary, post man, doggie style, wiff every man, woman, and animal that'll have me.
Brother Keith, I think maybe all the alchol and drugs have maybe confused the message a bit. Let's go back to my office and I'll start from the beginning.

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