All comics by flatblack

 

Odor Control by flatblack 3-22-10
Do you smell that weird smell? Uh...what kind of a smell is it?	It's like a *skunky* sort of smell. You don't smell that? Uh, Yeah... that smell.	I think that darn dog has been chasing skunks again Yeah...Skunk #4

 

Re-inventing the wheel by flatblack 3-22-10
At long last! I've finally created the *perfect* new hydro system! What was wrong with the old one?	Nothing really. It's pretty much the same, just more complicated now So why did you change it?	Because now it's *perfect* Let me know how that works out for you.

 

Grocery Bills by flatblack 3-22-10
Nutrient systems are so expensive nowadays. These weekly changes are cutting into my cat food budget. Wise up Granny...you need to make that solution last! Those are powerful nutes.	I change them every week just to be on the safe side. I don't want those nasty salts to build up and hurt my medicinal plants. By keeping careful track of PPM. TDS, Ph, water level, and making small changes at a time, you can extend the life of the solution up to several weeks between changes.	Well...I don't know...I've been doing it my way for a long time with good results... Yeah, but if you spent less on nutes you wouldn't have to eat all that cat food.

 

Fresh off the wire by flatblack 3-22-10
I can't believe this power bill! This is not good.... You do know that electricity is measured by resistance at the meter, right?	If you split up your electrical load at the power panel across both legs of the service, it will balance the load and reduce excess resistance, trimming power consumption. Hmmm...that should be easy. I'll put all the breakers for the garden on one side of the panel, and the rest of the house appliances on the opposite side	Oh no, I did it again! If in doubt, seek competent assistance. Electricity is no joke.

 

Small but fierce... by flatblack 3-22-10
How are those attack squirrels you were training coming along? Good. They keep pretty much everything away from the crop.	You havent had anyone try to come around since you let the squirrels loose? No. I'm actually going to feed them now...	Wow, so I guess they do a pretty good job. Yeah. Want to buy some pre-trained attack squirrels?

 

Timeline by flatblack 3-22-10
The fools...they all laughed at me, but now my "Mad" tissue culture experiments have almost come to a close!	Soon, in 3-4 months I will have grown several dozen PERFECTLY IDENTICAL GENETIC COPIES, all from a single mother plant. Muhahaha!!! Well, who's laughing now?	Why don't you just take some cuttings and have the same thing in about 21 days? Wait, what?

 

Different strokes for different folks by flatblack 3-22-10
So I've been thinking about getting an indoor grow together Ohhh...what kind of lights are you thinking of using?	I'm gonna go cheap, and just get regular T-12 fluorescent lights from Home Depot or Lowes It seems cheaper, but by the time you get enough of those to do anything, you might as well have just got the HID system.	You just like doing things the painful way, don't you? I do.

 

Long arm of the law by flatblack 3-22-10
Son, did you know that posession of marijuana over an ounce is a criminal offense in this state? Gee, officer, I had no idea.	Well, I don't feel like doing the paperwork, so I'm going to let you off with a warning, under one condition... Which is....?	You have to smoke that entire bag right now. Anything you say, officer.

 

Fine day for a hunt by flatblack 3-22-10
I'm gonna finawy get dat wabbit today, I can feew it.	Oh no, I weft the twuck wunning...I'll just set this wight here...	You motherfucker....

 

Back to the land by flatblack 3-22-10
Sometimes this whole hydroponics thing just seems so complex with all the water pumps, air pumps, hoses, electric cords, power strips and so on. You should try a passive system. It uses no electricity.	How does that work? You can use a wicking system or a gravity dripper to keep your growing media saturated with water and nutrients. It's very easy and low tech.	That's cool. What do you do about indoor grow lights? Unfortunately, I can only grow a summer crop, so I just grow it extra big.

 

Hidden in plain sight... by flatblack 3-22-10
So what's in the closet? Nothing. Absolutely nothing.	Really? I can hear a humming noise, and I think there's light coming from under the door. There's nothing in there, just some old boxes and stuff.	You know you're not fooling anyone What are you talking about? There's nothing at all suspicious about the forbidden closet of mystery that no one is allowed to go into, ever.

 

Just Google it. by flatblack 3-22-10
Results: 1 - 10 of about 6,960,000 for "spellcasting""	Results: 1 - 10 of about 2,143,000 for "eye of newt" Excellent...	Results: 1 - 10 of about 3,730,000 for "blood of a virgin" Those spider mites will never even know what hit them....

 

Please, throw me anywhere, just not into that briar patch! by flatblack 3-29-10
So what seems to be the problem? I'm not feelin so good, Doc. I've got the anxiety, sleeplessness, lack of appetite, and a general feeling of malaise. Also my mouth is unusually moist	Hmmm...I've been seeing a lot of the same symptoms in otherwise healthy young people lately. It must be like, something going around, you know?	I'm going to recommend you as a medical marijuana patient. It seems to be the only thing that helps so far. Well, if you think it'll work, I'll try it.

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