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| I sure wish I was cool. Nobody wants to be with a loser like me. | |
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| Hey kid! You can be as cool as they come. All you need to do is start smoking, and you will have lots of cool friends who think you're cool. | |
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| But isn't smoking dangerous? Won't it hurt my health? | |
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| Did you know that not having friends hurts your health? When you're a smoker, other smokers will flock to you. You'll be part of a crowd. | |
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| But won't nonsmokers avoid me? | |
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| Only if they're losers who don't care about having friends! And do you really want them for friends? Of course not! Smoke to make friends today! | |
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