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| I know smoking is cool. But there are such health risks to it, like cancer and heart disease. I would love to be hip and with it, but we're talking about my life here. I don't want to risk it. | |
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| With our new perfume Menthol #5, you can smell like you smoke without lighting up! Now concern for your health doesn't have to stand in the way of being cool! | |
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| That's really great! But what about my clothes? Wouldn't it get too expensive to spray them all with Menthol #5? And wouldn't it just come out in the wash anyway? | |
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| That's what we've made Tarex laundry detergent and fabric softener for! Wash your clothes with them, and they'll always come out smelling like cigarettes! | |
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| But what about when I kiss a guy? He'll know right away that I don't smoke, and then I'll be up a creek without a paddle. | |
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| What you need is our Tobacco Jo bubble gum! It leaves your mouth tasting like an ashtray, and each piece comes with its own Tobacco Jo comic! | |
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