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| Greetings, Hairy Pothead. What progress have you made? | |
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| I am teaching millions of children to deride atheists and agnostics by calling them muggles. | |
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| That's not quite the kind of progress I was hoping for, though we can work with it. What else? | |
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| I am also teaching children that they don't have to get high on Jesus when they can get high on weed. | |
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| Excellent, that's more like it. What else? | |
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| I have a movie deal in the works. It will be called "Hairy Pothead: The Sorceror's Stoned." | |
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