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| Welcome to Hell, sinner! Ha, ha, ha! | |
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| How did I get here? I was baptized as an infant, went to mass every week, said my confession regularly, and always did my penance. | |
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| Don't let this happen to you. Jesus loves you and wants you in Heaven with him. | |
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| And the only way to Heaven is through the Asian Girls Chinese Israelism Methodist Church. | |
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| Yes, Catholics, Lutherans, Anglicans, Baptists, Pentacostals, Quakers, Mormons, Unitarians, Muslims, Jews, Presbyterians, British Israelists, and United Methodists are all going to Hell. | |
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| Of course, if our faith is wrong, you're screwed. But is it wrong? I don't think so. | |
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