All comics by goodlordyouknowit

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uuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhh....
ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh....
Look man I told you, if you choke me one more time, i spew a might vengence upon you!

 

The burning bush reveals all to Father RocknHeimer
"...and this father, is how to properly serve, your lord."
hmmmm...
And for another 2000 years, humanity was damned...
Well, that really sucks! I mean, I was just getting into this GHB."

 

What do you think of my unsercumsized penis looking finger?
?
Yeah, it's fine, n-all-that. But, i've had better.
Oh yeah, you know what I'm talking about.
Yeah, I got the shit you need, Girl!

 

Cowboy Bill tells it like it is.
Ya know, there's time's in life when you gotta take the bull by the horns.
But there will come a day when that bull is going to make you his bitch.
Poor poor lonesome Bill.
You ain't ever had it good til you've had your prostate tickled by one of them horns. Yep.... God help me.

 

Hmmmmmmmm..... What is there to to do on a lonely night?
There's always one of those phone chat services. Yeah I'll give it a try.
What could I say about myself?
I could start off by saying that I am really hot, that I have a large "12 inch package". That outta get my laid.
Then again, I do hate people, they are rather disgusting. I think I'll do somehting else instead.
Ohhhhhhbyeah, that's the stuff. That's my spot, you know it.

 

You know kids, there will come a day when you to will feel frosty, just like me.
Still, I have some advice that will help you later on in life. Wear pants when playing in the snow...
'Cause I have a serious case of blue balls that would bring down a house full of porn stars.... Just keep that in mind.

 

Tyro Tim tells Dr. Triitwithanything about a story which may have lead to him becoming a broken, saddened Dinosaur.
.... and so I says to the guy, "look, ya schlub, i don't know WHAT your momma told you but"....
Mmmmm, yesssssss, interesting...
!?
"Ok, I have a suggestion before you go further... Just, shut the F@#K up, seriously. I mean, I don't get paid to listen to this kind of shi.... oh wait, yeah.. Uh, I guess I do. You are paying right?

 

Ettahem and Jaysus have an intimate conversation.
Blah Blah Blah, Grrrrowl, Reeeowowow, Hisssssssssss!
Look Ettahem, I've said it before but... Violence never solves anything. Really! Love is where it's at, baby!
It soon turns sour.
arggggghhhh...
Having said that...... Do you wanna see my love gun?
Later on... Ettahem says so long to Jaysus as the Medics take him to the emergency room for reconstructive surgery of the entire body.
See you at the hospital ya bastid!

 

Why so sad, Bastard Bot?
Waaaaaaaaa!... sniff sniff
Awww, really, let's see.
You wanna know? I'LL TELL YOU WHY! MY GIRLFRIEND SAYS I AM HUNG LIKE A SQUIRREL!
Minutes later...
Squirrel?! DAMN!!! I've seen bigger packages on a worm! HAHAHA!

 

Hello, This is member services, We are asking for you to re-record your message due to the fact that you are a walking pile of S@#T!
Oh my! Looks like he will be getting a coaching session soon.
Could you possibly be any more of a Douche Bag? I mean, come on guy, lord knows you have a wee willy, just be real. F@#Kers!
This is just unacceptable behaviour. This will not be tolerated.
So, uh, what was it you wanted to speak to me about?
Let's see your key card and headset first.

 

Jayzuz listens in to a callers message...
"Yo, wussup, ya-gnomesayin'? Shiiiiiiit, yeah, girl. Yo, I'm just looking for a fly ass honey to conversate wit. If you dat girl, hitcha boy up. Holla. One.
Man, i really do believe Koko the gorilla can communicate better than some of these clowns on the phone lines. haha, Just a bunch of clones, sheep.
Little did Jayzuz know...
I best be gettin' approved on this Shiz! Yahmean?

 

Ho Ho Ho!
HO HO HO!
Where's all my Hoe's at?!?
I'm outta here!

 

Uh Huh, Being in the band Nirvana was so tough, man. I mean, people adoring me. All those drugs and good parties. Yeah, it was tough back then.
Not to mention Courtney. Gawd, Courtney. There was never enough smack to remove myself from that life... Though I tried, Oh how I tried.
I sure do miss Lady H...

 

...And so I say that we are ALL equal in his eyes and we are ALL the children of GOD.
....
Even still, I ain't dying for nobody's sins, bitch!

 

Call Centre workers attack!!!
"Hello, this is member services, we are asking you to re-record as your ad was more lame than Christopher Reeves legs. YA Douche!"
hmmmm...
These stupid bastid's i outta....
Umm, excuse me Jayzuz, can you come with me?
Yeah Yeah, here you go Glenary.. my passcard and headset....... oh by the way, BM!
... and so, We think you might better fit in with another company. One that doesn't rely on good customer service. Maybe the Telluswesuck phone company? It's just that...

 

'Scuse me sir, do you have any spare change?
Sir?!?!
...?....
Uhhhhhhh.... yeeeeeeeaa
And you thought HE was the cold one.
uh? uh?
No.

 

Slick Rick is looking to SCORE!
How you doin'?! Allllllriiiight.
PFFFFT! Whatever!
Still, attempting to SCORE!
How 'bout choo, how YOU doin'?!?
I am just like, soooooo much better than you. Toat!
Slick Rick reconsiders his options...
Ummmm yeah.... how you...
Let's F@#K, big boy!

 

Oh hey Ettehem, I see that you are still being a raging batard as usual. Does it hurt to be such a crack head?
HAHHAHAHAHA!! Douche!
Dear diary, today i got my ass kicked by a girl... not my most proud day.

 

Gee-zuz, it's colder than a withces tit out here...
I wonder what that is like exactly..
Ehem
Witches. There's more than one reason they are called that.
OH HI THERE! Would you mind if I touched your...
God... just F@#K off.

 

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz....
God, not again!
...yeah so, I see Mr. Wonka is having himself a little nappy again.
Oh jeez, looks like we'll have to give him a rude awakening...
SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSMACK!!!
WAKE UP WONKA!!!!!
HAHA, That's great, thanks for giving me the heads up on that!

 

Could you do that for me?...
Ahhhhh, yeah Ettahem, I will get right on that... uhhh yeah..
make the damn comic, boy!
Her and those shitty comics, fuck!

 

How come it is that old people seem to move like muppets?
What the hell are you talking about?
DUn DUn DUN DUn DUn DUn DUn, yeah, you know the song.
Okay okay, so you were right!

 

hey, asshole, you forgot the punch line.
Oh god, aren't I a sorry one?
You were supposed to say, that they move like mppets, because they have no muscle mass. Maybe add something about jello in there too would you.
Ungh.. yeah yeah...
there, done, save, send... jesus...

 

...sigh...
... Blah Blah Blah ...Reptialian Hybreds... Blah Blah ...The Bible Says....Blah ...Brainwave Frequencies... Yadda Yadda...
hehe...
...Well, What Do You Think About All That?
Her Eyes Are Gonna Be The Death Of Him, I'm Sure...........
Less Talk, More (Tounge) Action
...Umm... Yeah, I Forgot What I Was Talking About Anyhow...

 

I love all the girls, oh don't you know. I like them so much it's hard to show. They don't understand that I am only one man, and I only have a set of hands...
And you like all the boys, oh don't I know. Even when you try not to show. But I see into your eyes and I’m wrapped up in your lies and I think of you opening your thighs...
I love all the people of the world. Planets in the sky where stars are hurled. It’s hard to comprehend the transmissions that they send, kind of like all these girls...

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