All comics by haplessmyth

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by haplessmyth
6-01-05
yar, ok. just yar
this town is big enough for me
yar, that hat will make a addition to my booty
everywhere I've ever been wasn't big enough for the two of us
I'll be pilfering your fecal matter by the setting of the sun
I feel complete

 

by haplessmyth
6-01-05
bills, bills, wedding invite, subpoena, coupons...
oh, a letter from mom
DEAR SON, ENCLOSED IS A BUNCH OF CASH CUZ WE LOVE YOU SO. DO YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND YET? LOVE MOM
jeez, my parents are great, but why do they push so hard for me to get into a relationship
I'd probably tell them I've found someone if they would give me a chance to make it feel like my own decision
oh well, I gotta get back to banging my girlfriend

 

by haplessmyth
6-01-05
so, how does my life and your's really differ?
ah little one, understand that my eyes see two worlds...
...I could tell you of the colors of regret and rage, of a harsh realm where space is restricted by the size of your own mind.
what is that, soapy water? is that why your eyes look like they're bleeding?
also soda leaks from my anus and this is the only liquid my people are allowed to quench our thirst

 

by haplessmyth
6-02-05
hey honey I'm back. sorry I took so long but I got distracted by a squirrel and a naked demon
damn these knots are tight, can't feel my hands or feet anymore and I've run out of tears to cry
oh shit he's back better brace myself for another hit

 

by haplessmyth
6-02-05
*phew* hope I don't have to smell that again

 

by haplessmyth
6-03-05
what's happening, what's going on?
Marsha, I have discovered there was no possible physical way that I could bring the hammer close enough to your head to drive in another nail, therefore I had only one option
god get me outta here... happy thoughts take me away
however this retriction is limited to the audiences sight, soon their eyes shall wander and the lovin' may continue
doe a deer, a female deer...

 

by haplessmyth
6-04-05
one of these two people are under the influence... ...of something...
hey man, I borrowed some of your beers. I'll pay you back, I even left an awesome vinyl in your room as collateral
yea, I saw the note. what's up with that?
dude, it sells for $60 bucks on e-bay, so it's collateral
so what then? should I sell it or something?
do you know what collateral is?
of course! I saw Collateral Damage

 

by haplessmyth
6-04-05
some hours later
I feel like such a Johnny the Homicidal Maniac rip off. *sigh* best pull this nail from my head
ah much better, and my head is apparently like an instant puncture sealing tire. still my duties have tired me, I need a sit down
sitting on fermented banana peels is not what I had in mind

 

by haplessmyth
6-04-05
we join jimmy after his ass has been washed
i see now that moments and snapshots of my life are ruled by preconceived movements
how can this be rectified and why are my feet so hot?
stay tuned to see what that's all about

 

by haplessmyth
6-04-05
hello folks, within two panels we should see what this mysterious fire brings about
*gasp* intrigue
I feel like a bully just kicked aver my sand castle then built me a better one

 

by haplessmyth
6-04-05
this strip contains an important question
if you love shopping for clothes at Goodwill are you still gay?
I do so love to buy clothes at Goodwill

 

by haplessmyth
6-04-05
son, it's important that I be honest with you
that way you can learn to be an honest man when you grow up
you see, I got this cape by killing and skinning your dog Poochini, then I fucked you mom superman style

 

by haplessmyth
6-05-05
games are getting so graphic now, it's awesome. watch this, up right to left A+B... YES!!
indeed, and my invisible controller is so supple
did you see that! a perfect nipple lick followed by a G-spot slam
this simulated physics interface is raising my oil temperature over its equilibrium
I gotta unzip my pants. you got any problem with that?
none that I can think of. is your toaster available for a couple of minutes?

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