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| ...but by then her spleen was too far gone. | |
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| In other news, a local man claimed he was touched by God. We go live to action reporter Hung Loosely. | |
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| Sir, you said that God touched you. In what way? | |
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| Well, first it felt kinda funny, like I sat on a gourd. Then there was a pleasant tingling and I had a whole mess o' sinful thoughts. He touched me five times 'fore the sun was up. | |
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