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| Mr. President, I propose we make Nebraska no longer stupefyingly ugly by carving it up into smaller pieces and renaming them. | |
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| Papillon to Kearney will be the Road to Hell, Kearney to Ogallala will be the Pit of Despair, and the panhandle will be Little Nebraska (aka Hell). | |
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| Let's just merge it with Council Bluffs. They're practically the same town anyway. | |
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| Do you hear something? It sounds like Iowa screaming in terror. | |
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