All comics by jamesthereaper

 

And behold there was Spawn, and it was... by jamesthereaper 12-08-03
And in the beginning, there was Spawn... Hey Tonk I just picked up Spawn:Armaggedon for my XBox You know, previous Spawn games have all been....	Say it...and I kill you. Oh she's fiesty. I'd like to calibrate her instruments!	What the hell are you staring at!? Who, me?? Oh umm...nothing, nothing at all.

 

The truth? You can't handle the truth! by jamesthereaper 12-08-03
Hours after playing Spawn:Armageddon 5...4...3...2... Hey Kristi! How's my favorite...uh-oh!	1!!! No Kristi wait!! Spawn couldn't have been that bad!	IT BURNS!!! OH GOD IT BURNS!!! Oh shit! Where's the damn extinguisher when ya need it!?

 

Meanwhile back at the ranch.. by jamesthereaper 12-08-03
Hell...obviously So Mr. Reaper, how are things in the death business? Ehh, the usual. How's the eternal damnation thingy going?	What can I say it's been..*ping*.. Uhh...you ok there? Hello? What the hell just happened!?	I sense a great disturbance in the force. As if a million Spawn fans cried out, and then were incinerated. Aww dammit! There goes my friggin' vacation plans!

 

Don't worry, I'm fine. by jamesthereaper 12-08-03
Welcome back Kristi! So, what'd the doctor say about your recovery? I should be back to normal in a few more days. I need to drink like...some gatorade or something though. I think I have drymouth.	Seems kind of odd though, y'know, curing spontaneous combustion with Gatorade. Yeah well I'm just glad I'm still alive. Do you have any idea how bad it feels to burn to ashes?? It fuckin hurts.	But hey look on the bright side, you lost a ton of weight. Oh har har you mechanical asstard!

 

Who would have thought? by jamesthereaper 12-08-03
Hello, Tonk here. While Kristi is recovering from Spawn, I've decided to get out of the house and show you around the neighborhood.	.........?!?!?! Hey there fellow robot! How's it going? I'd like to introduce you to my friends here.	DEAR GOD IT'S A TALKING ROBOT!! A TALKING ROBOT!!! Riiiggghht. I'm guessing your not from around here?

 

Don't hold your breathe. by jamesthereaper 12-08-03
Well your look a lot better than the last time I saw you. ........	Ummm, what's wrong Kristi? You look kinda pissed. Hellsing:Psalm of Darkness was pushed back again! And if I don't get my hands on it SOON, I'm going to go completely FRIGGIN' NUTS!!	Kristi? Kristi why are you looking at me like that?? KRISTI!! In the name of God. Impure souls of the living dead shall be banished into eternal damnation. Amen.

 

Violence is always the answer by jamesthereaper 12-09-03
(Insert ambulance sirens here) Hey Tonk what the hell happened to you? You look like you've been hit with a truck. I had an, uh, little "misunderstanding" with one of the guys down the street. I think he was having an identity crisis or something.	(sirens fade) Oh...so did ya kick his ass or what?? Oh I think he'll be hurting for a damn long time.	A talking robot?? Oh my God you've gotta be kidding me! And he did all that to you?! Oh it's not that bad. I mean hell, you should've seen the other guy! Had to...uuuhhh....scrape him off the pavement...yeah..that's it.

 

It's so true! by jamesthereaper 12-09-03
Magic the Gathering: Battlegrounds MAGMA GIANT! UNSUMMON!	Two hours later. MAGMA GIANT!......You can't keep this up forever! UNSUMMON!......Just try me!	Four hours later. MAGMA GIANT!......Ya know Kristi, this is gettin kinda boring. UNSUMMON!......Oh!! You concede to defeat eh?? Pansy!!

 

Tis' The Season by jamesthereaper 12-10-03
I love Chrsitmas! It just brings back so many memories. Yeah it sure does. Remeber when we first met?	Hi! My name's Tonk. Umm hi there. I'm Kristi.	Merry Christmas and Happy New Years! ......you were asian? You know, if it weren't "the season" I'd seriously consider killing this strip's creator.

 

As seen on T.V. by jamesthereaper 12-10-03
Hey baby what say you me and the bed make three eh? *wink wink nudge nudge* Hrrmmm...how about you, a crane, and a giant trash compactor? That sounds like a winner to me.	badaa frroooommmmm beeeoooohaasshhhk ruphmp	*Prince of Persia: Sands of Time Uh-oh, that didn't go as well as planned. That's it Tonk, absolutley NO MORE Prince of Persia* for you.

 

All I want for Christmas by jamesthereaper 12-10-03
GREAT SCOTT! Kristi, Christmas is almost here! Do you know what that means? Presents!! You don't say?	Well? Isn't it obvious what I want for Christmas? It's obvious you've had waaay too much egg nog.	Well in that case, I'll just be going BACK TO THE KITCHEN to get some more egg nog. Who do I look like?? Santa friggin' Clause?

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