All comics by jumpy

 

by jumpy
4-29-14
"For the love of God, would you please PUT DOWN the toilet seat"!!
"Umm, ok... Toilet seat, you look kinda crappy today".
"Go to hell..."

 

by jumpy
4-29-14
Do you know what it's like to sit on cold pee at 3:00 in the morning?
But you said to leave the lid down.
Oh my God, really?? You put it up when you pee and put it down when you're done.
Well??
By "it", you're referring to the lid right?

 

by jumpy
4-29-14
I see you left an empty roll on the holder again. And you balanced a new roll on top of the old one. Seriously??
I, umm...
I, umm what?
I didn't want to miss the beginning of Dr. Phil. It's a very special episode today.
I think I hate you.

 

by jumpy
4-30-14
Imagine my surprise getting out the shower this morning to find my towel already damp and smelling of stink.
Know anything about that, hmm?
I, ah... apparantly I forgot to hang up my towel, so I grabbed yours...
...and you know I need to dry down there so I don't chafe.
Well, aren't you Mr. Hygiene. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go wash my face again.

 

by jumpy
4-30-14
Do my eyes and nose deceive me or did you forget to flush again.
As a matter of fact, no, I did not forget.
Let me guess, the pee fairy visited us again last night?
Nope. My conservation support group suggests "partner flushing".
You see, the first person goes, but we don't flush until the second person goes. It saves like 2 or 3 gallons of water every time.
Yep, it's official. I hate you.

 

by jumpy
5-13-14
Now you've gone too far. There's pee running down the sides of the toilet bowl and more on the floor??
What the hell is wrong with you?
Actually, us men often wake in the morn with a... well, let's just call it a compromised condition that makes it difficult to aim accurately.
I'll "morn" you one. What I "mourn" is the fact that your little chubby is no longer good for anything, except peeing all over the place like a goddamn little monkey!!
I like monkeys...

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