All comics by lysteria

 

A View of Subtelty by lysteria 6-01-01
George encounters a robot. Hey, robot dude! Have you got a SCREW loose? That is a bad joke.	Would you like a SCREW? That is also a bad joke.	I wonder if he got the joke? I would like to train as a psychoanalyst some day.

 

Sara and Jasper Fashion and Application to Real Life Review by lysteria 6-01-01
After several months, Jasper and Sara are still wandering aimlessly through the woods. Good morning Jasper. Good morning Sara.	I'm experimenting with a new hairstyle. Very attractive, in a Josh-might-feel-the-need-to-puke-if-he-saw-it kind of way.	So, I'm thinking, do you still have that urge to bury your head in my crotch? They say sex is big. They say sex is dumb. But I would venture to point out that it is NOT blind.

 

Josh Meets Scott Behind The Scenes of HorseHockey by lysteria 6-01-01
In the HorseHockey studios, Josh and Scott exchange words. Hi Scott. What's going down? Heavy stuff, Josh. Chris has just informed me I've been made redundant from HorseHockey.	Why's that? Seems I'm just too similar to you when I'm pooping and vomiting, and Sara or Jasper when I'm being sensible.	So I guess you'll be kicked out of your trailer outside the studio buildings then. Where will you live? I don't know. I've viewed lots of houses but they kick me out when I ask if they will throw in any free easily-washable explosion-resistant plastic incontinence sheeting.

 

Too Close To The Truth To Be A Joke by lysteria 6-01-01
I'm worried about my politics. What about them?	They lack consistency - every time I think I've found something solid to grip onto, I find it collapses into so much mush. And it embarrasses me when my friends ask me about them. So do mine. Plus, mine really smell pungent.	How can your politics smell pungent? Oh, politics?! I thought you were talking about droppings!

 

The Artist Faces His Critic by lysteria 6-01-01
Jeez, I was drawing chalk pictures on the sidewalk for cash, and suddenly I've got a big lump of something on my head. Did you just shit on me, bird?	Answer me.	Damn you. I have no regrets.

 

Ways to Save Money, Part One by lysteria 6-02-01
Hey babe! Nice tits! Like them, huh?	Yeah! They're way cool. I thought so. Well, I guess you probably want to touch them and feel them and drool over them. But no little prick like you will ever be able to do that. In fact no-one gets to touch them except me.	No need for porn this week!

 

Working Late at the Office by lysteria 6-02-01
Jesus and Satan decide who gets to keep which souls. OK, so this next guy's had sex with a dog in public. Do you want to have him? Umm... well, while doing that, he selflessly leapt into the path of a falling rock to save the lives of seven hundred people below. Yours, I think.	Yeah, but that's a suicide, surely? Suicides go to Hell, everyone knows that. But, but, but! Immediately after he jumped in front of that rock, he regretted his action! So he repented! That's a Heaven destination.	Well, if he regretted his action, does that include the bestiality? Or what? Erm... I dunno, what shall we do with him? I sometimes wish your father had been a little more keen on reincarnation.

 

Subtlelty Has Its Own Rewards by lysteria 6-02-01
Jeff gatecrashes a private party. Oh wow! I've seen TV shows about these parties! You guys who have a fetish about dressing up as animals are sooo cool. Can we, like, fiddle about and do stuff? No, you can't. Leave us alone.	How about you? You've got a way cool costume. Can we cuddle and play around? Keep your hands to yourself, slimeball.	Don't even think about it.

 

You May Have Noticed by lysteria 6-02-01
I can't spell subtelelty. S-U-B-T-E-L-T-Y	I can't spell subteltly. S-U-B-T-E-L-T-Y	I can't spell subtlelty. Oh, go fuck yourself.

 

Street Preaching by lysteria 6-02-01
TEENAGERS! Shave yourself for marriage! TEENAGERS! Shave yourself for marriage! TEENAGERS! Shave yourself for marriage!	TEENAGERS! Shave yourself for marriage! TEENAGERS! Shave yourself for marriage! TEENAGERS! Shave yourself for marriage! I respect your views, and I really don't want to offend you, but I think you're saying it wrong. It's "save," not "shave."	Shut up, dude - that may be the way it is in your pervy world, but I have my own vision of the future and I'm damn well gonna make it happen.

 

SUBTLETY - A Tutorial For Those Still In Doubt by lysteria 6-02-01
SUBTLETY... I hear they spell it SUBTLETY. That's S-U-B-T-L-E-T-Y, man.	More SUBTLETY... I hear they spell it SUBTLETY. S-U-B-T-L-E-T-Y. Do I get a point?	And still more SUBTLETY... I hear they spell it SUBTLETY. Maybe, but I still call it my dick.

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