All comics by melissapissa

 

by melissapissa
4-12-07
The Phone
I know you are just visiting and I have no logical place for you to put your things, but can you find another place besides the couch for all your crap?
Uh, Ok. What 's the problem?
I have four phones in this house and I finally found one underneath your stuff.
I don't use your phone.
Well I use it.
So why did you put it under my stuff?

 

by melissapissa
4-13-07
My husband left me, I lost the house, I don't have a job and now I have writers block.
So you are having a unexpected outage?
Didn't see it coming.
Are you going to pay for your burger?
I don't have any money either
Then you should add broke and starving to your list.

 

by melissapissa
4-14-07
What if wet backs meant fire ants
The wet backs are getting in the house again. It doesn't make sense. I calked the entire baseboard around the house and they still found a way in.
Did you posion the yard? Drown their mound?
Yes, They swam through the mound. Then they ate the posion. From what I understand, they take whats left of the posion back home to their queen.
We need a better barrier to keep those damn wet backs out.!They are everywhere! I cannot go anywhere in the house without seeing several wet backs. It is like they travel in packs!
I don't know what else to do. I used the most lethal posion I could find. The other bugs won't even touch it! If we bomb the wetbacks mound they will just invade the house entirely.
Looks like we are just going to have to move to Canada to get away from the wet backs. I heard it's to cold for wet backs there.

 

by melissapissa
4-14-07
You spelled poison wrong.
I know. I am despaired.

 

by melissapissa
4-14-07
What are you doing?
Oh some bitch posted a intelligent response on Craigslist about illegal immigrants. It's been a ongoing debate.
Debate? Anything worthwhile?
Nah, everyone is pretty much ignorant, fail to research and attack everyone else's ideas.
So what are you posting?
Oh I always take the easy way out. I am taking the focus off the subject and attacking her spelling and grammer instead.

 

by melissapissa
4-14-07
Did you get a job yet?
No, I did get a email from a recruiter about a exciting job opportunity.
What happened?
I asked her what this exciting job opportunity was. She said it was doing computer inventory for the city.
That is so exciting I might go into a coma.
That's what I said. She never emailed me back.

 

by melissapissa
4-14-07
What did you buy your son for his birthday?
Grand Theft Auto.
Thats a Horrible game to buy a 13 year old!
Oh, it's ok. I am going to monitor him by playing 2nd player.
Do you think that is going to really help?
Of course. It is the San Andreas version so I get to be the prostitute.

 

by melissapissa
4-14-07
this is funny
when does this ever happen?
I have nothing
me either
open up before I huff and I puff....
and take all your energy!!!!

 

by melissapissa
4-19-07
I cannot release the body until you bring me the original copy of the sale of the owners soul to you.
I brought you what I have mere mortal.
Yes, but that is a copy. I need the original.
What is the world coming too? Satan doesn't even get respect anymore.
It also needs to be notarized in triplicate as well.

 

by melissapissa
4-19-07
the bacon lies
Look Bacon, I am sorry but you let yourself go.
But I love you!
it is not you, it's me.
You said you would love me forever!
Fine! Your just not as hot as you used to be. You never had any kids! I don't think you ever had any eggs. You trapped me into a tangled web of lies and never gave me bacon with eggs.
You only loved me for my bacon grease!

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