All comics by mindless_ranter

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by mindless_ranter
9-09-02
Life isn't looking to good for Steven.
God, just when I thought I had everything worked out.
Now what are you complaining about?
Comforting in the bed room.
Well, I have a girlfriend but-..... how did we get into my bedroom?
What the fuck? but my car is at the park!....
The strip creator is having fun with his comics
Now we're in... heaven?
God I want to make sweet love to WarCraft3

 

by mindless_ranter
9-09-02
Kyle is an idiot.
Hi, I'm Kyle. I did a strip about fucking your girlfriend.
You did... what?
Kyle smells like cabbage
Yeah It was cool. I thought it was genius. My penis is real small.
Thats nice.... get ready to die.
Tune in next time.
What're you talking about?
You did a fucking strip about FUCKING my girlfriend. WTF?! Thats not funny you bastard!

 

by mindless_ranter
9-11-02
Our artist is in.... a JAM!
Gosh, I'm lame..... But... I have friends... a girlfriend.... I think I have a job and I'm taking behind the wheel.... WTF IS WRONG WITH ME!?
Maybe theres nothing to really worry about.... yeah.... lifes great...
HECK! I love life....

 

by mindless_ranter
9-11-02
Where we last left our hero!
Get ready to be sliced and diced BITCH!
Is that thing for real!?
You bet it fucking is!
OH MY GOD! I'M REALLY GONNA DIE!
Kyle is a little bitch!
Come back here you pussy bitch!
I'm getting the fuck outta here!

 

by mindless_ranter
9-14-02
Steven gets.... a NOTE!
Hey you, wrote you another letter but my teach took. Hey I don't want a long relationship right now! So explain at Tangs party. Love you still & Alway! Love Lots & Always. Mari Rene' Simonson
Hmmm.... she gives me a note... bullshitting me..... then she breaks up with me half assed..... and finnaly she tells me not to hate her...
Someones gonna die...
GOD FUCKING PEOPLE IN THIS WORLD! MY EX IS A BISEXUAL SLUT! GRARGH! I GOT DUMPED IN A NOTE! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!

 

by mindless_ranter
9-14-02
Steven and Greg enjoy some drinks at the party
Wow these suicides aren't all that great.
Yeah, I figured I'd get more from a suicide.
...........
...........
I'll try it one more time.
yeah me too.

 

by mindless_ranter
9-15-02
Kyle....
KYLE!
IS DUMB!
Isn't....
Funny....
Take it easy.
Laterz

 

by mindless_ranter
9-15-02
Greg, Steve and Others watch Van Wilder
Thank god for foreshadowing
What are they doing with thoes pastries and that dog?
Just watch the movie its great.
.....
OH MY GOD! They're eating it!? AAAAAAARGH!
ewwwwwwww

 

by mindless_ranter
9-15-02
Is this thing on?.... Ok... Well here goes nothing
Fan mail!
Dear Steven, Your comics have been rather amusing. I find them funny and enjoy reading them. Good job!
I am da Meat Popcicle what gets bitten!
People like my work! Time to sell out! T-shirts and Stuffed Dolls here I come!!!!!

 

by mindless_ranter
9-17-02
Oh my god! Oh my god! where to go!? Where to go!? I don't want to die... My love for kerri si to great! Maybe I should stand up to greg!
WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU!?... I'm gonna rip your nuts off with a.... FORK! or something...
OH SHIT!?
This is getting interesting!...
I know, I'll kick that Greg guys ass... that'll win Kerri's love and she'll maybe consider touching my penis...

 

by mindless_ranter
9-17-02
Somewhere not in a grocery store. A day begins!
Y'know what kind of name is STORM HAMMER!?
A really stupid one?
Why don't we just call him THUNDER STICK!?
Hehehehe
FIN
Ugh.... Why bother anymore...
Yeah...

 

by mindless_ranter
9-18-02
Got hit by a car huh?
Yeah...
Wow...
Yeah...
You gonna pay for it?
Yeah...

 

by mindless_ranter
9-18-02
Greg isn't happy!
Hey, Greg.
yes?
Whats with the axe?
Oh nothing, just some asshole told my girlfriend he loved her.
OH SHIT! Heads are gonna be roll'n
Wow, dead fucker walking...
.....exactly.... mmmm yess....

 

by mindless_ranter
9-19-02
One Day at Kay-Bee Toys!
hmmm
Oh god, I hope he doesn't anything about me buying these TMNT mini-techno drones... if he does I'll just say their collectibles... yeah collectibles!
Would you like to purchase some batteries?
Eh!? THEY'RE FUCKING COLLECTIBLES OK!?... err What'd you ask?.... ooh.... uhh no why are they needed?
Oh, no I'm just asking.
I'm a fucking idiot!

 

by mindless_ranter
9-19-02
Why god why!?
Does every comic I have to do be about me complaining about my life?
Look everyone a trendy poser!
Oh look... It's George...
HEY JEW! I hear you've been talking shit puto!
The little poser is speechless.
George before my friends take you and use you as an offering to the denizens of the deep.... or kill you... go away.
.....

 

by mindless_ranter
9-20-02
LOOK A CHICKEN!
Hi, I fill space for a comic when the writer is in a jam!
I can do various things, do a little jig for you and other such things just for your amuesment.
Ignore that comment
I hate my life, because I'm not a real chicken but geneticly grown in a testtube for your enjoyment, someone please kill me!

 

by mindless_ranter
9-21-02
One day Greg snaped over some guy saying hi to his girlfriend and broke his legs and is now in prison
Greg!
Who's that?
It's me Steven, I'm hear to bust you out!
Awesome! Hurry up, How's Kerri?
Now we have plot!
Not too good! Horny men from the realm of trendy posers have crossed over to our diemension and are trying to date her!
DAMNIT! This is the conjuring of STEELY DANâ„¢!

 

by mindless_ranter
9-21-02
And then there was this baby!
Shark hunter huh?... sounds scary!
HELL YEAH IT IS! I love it...
Uh huh.....
YEAH! I PISSED MYSELF! WHEN I SAW IT!
It had pointy teeth... I think
I must be leaving Kerri
But.... theres pizza!

 

by mindless_ranter
9-22-02
WOW its....... Kyle...
Hey StaticStick!
Would you get it straight? its StormHammer
Yeah sure, whatever NoisePole
Why do you guys always pick on me?
Why doesn't Kyle just go away?
Not right now ElectricShovel, I'm busy working for Product Design
But.... I have feelins to y'know?

 

by mindless_ranter
9-22-02
This is Clinton
OOH OOH! AH AH!
Stop acting like a damn monkey!
ooh?
FUCKIT!
*No real Clintons were hurt during the making of this strip!
sigh, I told him to stop.

 

by mindless_ranter
9-23-02
Hey kyle, from 1-10 how gay would you say you are?
uhh zero?
Thats not apart of the scale
Ok.... I guess one..
Wow thats pretty gay!
I hate you...

 

by mindless_ranter
9-23-02
TEEHEE
hey everyone, how are you?
Have a good day!
I was wondering if anyone reads my comics and if you do I'd appreciate your input
It'd be really nice if you told me if my comics were funny or not, just email me at mindless_ranter@hotmail.com or just click email below my user name over there in the top left

 

by mindless_ranter
9-24-02
One day at the bus stop.
Hey Steven
HEY! Ashley.
Hey, are you going to homecoming?... cause I was thinking about it.. but this guy hasn't asked me yet...
Hmm, could I be him? naaah, I'll give it a shot though teehee
OH MY GOD!!!
Wanna be my date for the homecoming?
I thought you'd never ask!

 

by mindless_ranter
9-26-02
Oh look Candice
Fucking Steven!
Oh look Clinton
Fucking Steven!
Oh look Jesus...
Fucking Steven!

 

by mindless_ranter
9-27-02
Look everyone a manifestation of the mind.
Whats wrong?
Eh, Stress.... women... life... just too much has to be done.
I HATE you Mom and Dad
Really?
Yes, infact... I believe I blame my parents for causing such stress.
You see, Parents that consider you an idiot and never appreciate anything you do and hold you back are gay and should be shot! FUCK PARENTS
Really?
Yes... its the parents fault....

 

by mindless_ranter
9-28-02
At Orientation
Ok, a few last questions. 10mins till closing and a guy comes in, you're tired and want to go home. What should you do?
I should tell him to.... EAT A DICK!
Good, now; its 12mins till closing, you're fatigued and 12choir boys from the catholic church across town come in, what should you do?
I should tell him to.... EAT A DICK!
Now thats just silly
Excellent, we here at KFC would like to welcome you to our team!
Hey what can i say?... EAT A DICK!

 

by mindless_ranter
9-30-02
while getting ready to go our hero is interupted by.... a PHONE call!
Hello?
Hey, its me! Your Smurf!
uhh err.. (SHIT!)... Hey whats up?
Are you mad?
FUCKING AYE!
Uhh no... I just need to go cuase my friend is waiting outside.
sigh, why can't you just tell me you don't want me to call anymore? huh!? but no you just had to go the extra mile JERK! I hate you! *click*

 

by mindless_ranter
9-30-02
typing at the computer UH-OH!!
People who read my dead journal STOP! I'm no longer writing in it...
I feel strip creator doesn't take as long to load and is more expressing and-
*CLICK*
No one loves me...
GODDAMNIT! I hate hitting tab.... fuck.. I'll just do a comic about not updating my journal anymore...

 

by mindless_ranter
9-30-02
HEY LOOK ITS!... oh.. its just one of my voices.
Stevo, whats wrong? don't you find it weird your voices even call you that?
eh? oh just thinking... I want a nice life. Not bullshit... stupid preppy girls. I want a girlfriend... thats just... perfect for me... and im perfect for her. HAH... never happen.
I don't like my voice... he's so mean! potato beans!
Stevo.. you must realize. I might just be a voice but im your voice of sorrow... and I'm afriad to tell you. No one loves you stevo. Just end it all. Come on i know where your mom hides the bleech.
What do you mean no one loves me? don't you find that fucked up that you even say that to me?... I mean, christ I know the chances of me finding the perfect girl are slim to none but fuck!
One time he called me Tomagotchi! It... it wasn't fun
Well, im sorry. But you shouldn't be so optimisitc. you're such a dreamer. your comics aren't even funny. This one doesn't even have a punch line. You're just not cool stevo. You're a loser fish.
Is it just me or are do you know all the things that piss me off? cause you're not very positive... at all!... you suck! you're the worse voice in my head. GO AWAY!... just leave.. you sick bastard...

 

by mindless_ranter
9-30-02
Look everyone, its my non-trendy friend ANDREW! lets say HI!
BOO!
Hey Andrew
How...how did you know it was me?
Who else has sexy cafes and a head of hair like that?
Squeely fools!
Yeah, you're right... you mind if i stabz j00?...
Eh, what the fuck? No ones gonna miss me.

 

by mindless_ranter
10-01-02
Insert ending narration here
(insert your whiny remark here)
(add your very own answer to his remark here)
(insert a gesture of thought considering greg's comment here!)
(now you can add a respectful remark to his gesture here WOW)
and your final witty remark of a narration again here!
(insert suicidal comic here)
(insert your VERY OWN "NO STEVEN DON'T FUCKING KILL YOURSELF" comment here.... teehee or just some cheezy punch line.. which ever.)

 

by mindless_ranter
10-02-02
One day while eating a few 3musketeers!
Wow, you bought 3? holy crap! you can't eat all that!
Yes, I can... what an idiot.
HOLY CRAP! you bought 3? you're crazy man!
What the fuck?... how am I crazy?
And so, I'll never buy and leave out in the open 3musketeers!
JESUS SHIT IN MY MOUTH! Christ thats alot of 3musketeers....
It's only 3.... sigh, People these days.... I need to just shoot them all!

 

by mindless_ranter
10-03-02
If you notice.
Mom, your cordless phone is broke and it picks up the line and doesn't hang up.
Oh so its the phone from hell?.... Whatever steven go away.
I don't have backgrounds
No dad, im not looking at porn...
WHAT?! WHAT THE FUCK!? are you a pussy? are you gay? masturbate before i knock some teeth out ... jesus christ!
because I'm too lazy!
No Allen, i go to work at 4 TOMORROW! today at 5!
Well mom said you had to be at work at 4 one of these days... And I know its today... because my didn't know which day it was.

 

by mindless_ranter
10-06-02
ONE DAY IN A PIZZARIEA!
I didn't do it.
ok...
Unless you have pictures...
Oh, I do!
And then.... it was silent...
But I'm still denying it!
I have the craziest managers...

 

by mindless_ranter
10-06-02
Nonsense
Y'know, these comic strips have become harder and harder to make... I guess I'm just not a good cartoonist
nah, mine are just as hard.
He's so...... crazy...
Really? I never would've thought.
Well no shit! you put a whole shit load out too fast. You need to calm down. Think about some crazy shit and do it. Sorta like the suicidal bunny thing!
oops! did I say that?
Ah, so you think I should talk about my sexual relations with a 20year old?
uhhh..... no i don't think you shou-.... wait!? you have sexual relations with a 20year old?

 

by mindless_ranter
10-08-02
What am I wearing?
Why are you dressed like that?
Dressed... like what?
Like a British Bobby!
Oh... Ummm, I found it in my dad's closet.
Kids, remember, what Steven and Greg do. You should too! So grab a stick and go poke some posers eyes out!
Say is that stick real?
HELL YES IT IS! Lets go beat some trendy posers!

 

by mindless_ranter
10-09-02
Greg does it all for me =P
That girl right there is cute.
Don't fall!
WOW SHE THOUGHT IT WAS ME! HOW COOL!
Thanks!
Eh?... No problem!
NOODLES!
Thank you greg!
No prob!

 

by mindless_ranter
10-09-02
The truth hurts
So it turns out she was 14.
sigh, bummer
But in reality;
Yeah and I wrote her a letter to!....
Yeah
A Woman's ability to be fickle, eases the pain!
Wanna play NWN?!.
YES!

 

by mindless_ranter
10-10-02
Mindy's dumb
Teresa. Chaz and I are going to get married because I gave him a handjob and stuff!
Doesn't she realize he's not the one to settle down?
Elsewhere; Chaz is a man whore
Hey you wanna get naked?
Sure!
EVERYONE, say no to crack!
sigh, I have dreams about him asking me out and then me dying in his arms. I love him.
Wow, she is dumb...

 

by mindless_ranter
10-14-02
Yeah so about Lord of the Rings.
Hey Stevo..
Hey!
Its cool, It has... wizzards and this thing...
Are you going to homcoming?
Not that I know of....
Theres this ring... it has powers.
Well, could you find a date?... like NOW..... so like Greg isn't Alonish?... cause then he'd kill Teresa and Mari... So please?
Sure... Let me just pull a date out of my ass!

 

by mindless_ranter
10-14-02
It has Rubber Bands in it.
Hey its a box!
Yeah, i got in the mail today! Its awesome!
Ubi Soft sent me it
What Do we Do with it?
I dunno check this out!
It was Free
Don't aim it at me! Jesus Christ!
Its only a box!

 

by mindless_ranter
10-14-02
ITS A BOX!
Dude you can poke in eye out with that.
Mmmm, yess.
ITS A BOX!
What're you doing?
Hey Old Lady!
ITS A BOX!
Uhh, Maybe we should call the morgue or something.
JESUS CHRIST!

 

by mindless_ranter
10-15-02
So is Teresa
Everyone, I must confess. To get things straight I wanna explain a story thats rather dumb.
and Mari
One summer evening, when I use to really really really like mindy. She was BITCHING about her thumb and I decided to shut her up by saying "I only have one testicle". She thought I was serious.
Mindy's dumb
So she asked me questions about my 'one testicle' I answered them fibbing. But the truth is; Ladies and Gentlemen, I have both my testicles and I'm willing to prove it...

 

by mindless_ranter
10-16-02
KMFDM Sucks
Black man
White man
Don't listen to them
Yellow man
black man
Or your spleens will fill with blood and harden creating spleen salami! tastey
white man
RIP THE SYSTEM!

 

by mindless_ranter
10-16-02
I have friends...
Lolipop
Lolipop
YOU"RE ON THE GAY BUS!
loli-loli-lolipop....
....lolipop
FUCK THAT BOX
lolipop
loli-loli-lolipop!

 

by mindless_ranter
10-17-02
I have friends...
We Like talking dirty!
We smoke and we drink
You just watch!
Our music is sampled totally fake
Its done by machines cause they don't make mistakes!
I HAVE FRIENDS!
We don't have no lyrics our message is nill we hate all dj's they're making us ill!
What ever we tell ya, its ment to be crap. We hate all music and espicially rap!

 

by mindless_ranter
10-17-02
GODDAMN!
You know you want this dick in your mouth!
Uhhh, not really, its prolly small or something.
I HATE
Hey Fuck you! You don't know what you're missing.
It's alright, i have a girlfriend...
KYLE!
OH GOD STOP THE HAX0RZ! IM GAY! AHHHH!
Whiney bitch...... my ballz itch!

 

by mindless_ranter
10-18-02
Even in my imagination I can still have fun!
ARRRGH! THERE SHE BLOWS! I'll make you walk the plank unless ye scoundruls join my hearty crew of women! ARGH!
Uh-oh!
Hey Steven have you see-WHAT THE FUCK!? why are you dressed up like a pirate!?
Oh... umm, I'm... NO IM NOT! I just put on this hat you fool!
The Idea was better in my head =(
Whatever you fag
MY DREAM IS RUINED!

 

by mindless_ranter
10-20-02
Haha this letters awesome.
Damn, this picture of her is pretty good too. I gotta email her thanking her.
1 week later....
sigh, she's not ever emailing me again....

 

by mindless_ranter
10-20-02
Hey everyone! This is my 50th comic strip!
Damn Stevo, has it really been that long?!
It sure has Greg! and to celebrate... we're giving our fans.... THIS LOVELY COMIC! WEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
How exciting You cheap ass..
Something wrong, Greg?
Oh no nothing.

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