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| I tell you, electronic chessboard from Radio Shack, you're the only one I can talk to. I've got a major problem. Pawn to Knight 3. | |
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| Pawn takes Knight. There's a girl named Ramona at my job and she's really coming on to me. She bends over in front of me and brushes me with her boobs. What do I do? | |
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| Bishop takes Queen while King is off in the Navy. What he doesn't know won't hurt him. | |
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| You're not like the electronic chess games that I remember from before I was ship wrecked. | |
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