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| I found an injured squirrel in front of my house. I nursed him back to health with Sprite, antacids, and saltines. | |
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| Oh my, antacids and seltzers have been known to make small animals stomachs explode. You're a very lucky, young man. | |
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| He's the lucky one. If I were lucky, he'd have been filled with gold, exploded, and I would have been showered in it. | |
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