All comics by moogwa

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by moogwa
1-29-04
A morning in the day of Loko's turbulent and fragile mindset
eh? A newbie within my scope of pscho-sexual delusional deviance, or she's just a chick on the prowl!
mmm, i bet he thinks i'm an easy lay, that was soooo last season!
The plot thickens out like anorexic rat piss
Tactics, err, eyes narrowed, shoulders hunched and thinks kind thoughts of dear, dear ol' Ted Bundy, wot a guy!! Sigh! I wonder if his old volkkswagen is still on Ebay?
Playin' hard to get big fella? OK, i can do the contemporary `chick that knows no socially constructed sexual limits gig`. Eyes skyward, fly open and look dreamy, NOW!!
A meeting of minds and fluids? Not a chance!
like me, it doesn't see daylight too often so if you wanna make friendly then i gues he can come out to play...GET TO IT WANTON HUSSY...err..was that being dominant?
Ewww, i am not going near that without a chem-suit, it's too big and it ain't meant to glow, burbye!!

 

by moogwa
1-29-04
A daytrip in his mind to a warm destination. It sure is good to get away from it all.
Hey Bro, you into that kinky shit, like get ya credit card ready kinda gig?
??? wadda fuck?
i seen this...err..heard about this movie where these guys like getting pain and stuff, you might wanna go to a group for like minded folk instead of being Mr i'm better than everyone else.
Lookee here, Fucko, if i have to get down from here then i'm gonna give you a one way pass to beatsville...and im am reknowned for my healing...not my beating...so piss off! Jeez, some people!
Ooooooo touchy! Guy's probably just got pins and needles!
got your name, asswipe...come the apocalypse...me and you outside!

 

by moogwa
1-29-04
Everyone needs a friend. Loko is a friend in need.
hey kid...like err...cool..wanna play some tic -tac-toe? do ya wanna..waddya say?
What Operating System does it run on?...yawn!!! Probably WinDoze, HAA HA, i am soooo witty, cool!
In need of serious help!
I hates him already..but the nice doctor said i should persevere in the face of blinding dumbness and adversity towards my desires. Mmm, fuck that!
Y'know, he's got that `riflin' through your trash for hidden info kinda vibe,' if i had my own stalker then i would rule at skool!
Hey..you at achool right? I loves edumacation...i sent off for a Mutilation Studies Degree by correspondence...mind if i get a bit of cramming in before hand?...hah...i am soooo witty!
gulp!!!....so this care in the community...i don't think he cares if i'm removed from the community...ce la vie!

 

by moogwa
1-30-04
Reading out loud can be bloody risky.
Fuck, this Necronomicon for Dummies really works...wonder if it has a Help n' Tips section at the back?
For all concerned...
errr...Mr Romero extra..sir..if you not gonna use that anymore..could i have the arm...please!
grrr..rant...rage and various non coherent mumblings due to rotting of neural tissue etc..grrr
okkkk...only asking...be that way...permanently, hehe!
this is a mightily impressive film set...wonder if the budget runs to a trailer for moi?

 

by moogwa
1-30-04
All boys together..ahhhh..ain't it sweet.
err..Hi...so what you in here for? Something light by any chance?..(Gulp!)!
Grrrr...mumble...rant...mumble..didn't find all of it...grrr!
Frankly, no..it ain't!
oh crap...i am far too pretty for all this..i might bash my face off the wall for good measure..here goes!
hey ..can ...i by any chance..borrow some soap..i need to...what are you doing..jeezuz. some people!
all i wanted to do was wash my hands after scrabbling on the floor for the missing piece of my Charlie Manson jigsaw puzzle..where is that last piece...Grrr!
zzzzzzz!

 

by moogwa
1-30-04
In some guy's basement..Some guy who has had less sex than Loko..ever!
Get this..if i wanna travel someplace..i'll take the bus..i am not getting in there and that is final.
muh ha ha..world domination...DRAT..wrong script..one second..ah..yes..no flies, no monkeys, just you....promise!
...and that is saying something!
you are gonna get some..promise...no mad weirdy shit...ahem...from you anyways...Mr Wide center parting..HAH..see..Grr..have some of this!
i wonder if i'll come back as Marty McFly?
The end is Nigh...Nigh on Idiotic!
How hard can this Physics stuff be?
Gurgle...splutter...*croak*

 

by moogwa
1-30-04
Inside an Automated factory that might become something totally different..
Right...so you are telling me that he isn't here then...okkkk...listen up geek...i know that Johnny Five is alive..i saw it on sci-fi last week ..so there
*ignoring*..binary obsession..Hex..Zena loves me..ahh..hic!
..Later
Look..i bought a box..just put him in and i can rebuild him..i have six dollars..i can get a fixit kit..please!
heyyy...it's like...i sympathise for those with problems of the mind and..
You fuck with a guy's dreams and you askin' for trouble and no mistake!

 

by moogwa
1-30-04
Press Conference at guess where..Duh!
I do declare that i am shocked at only recieving one vote and then winning..well..waddya know and i havn't even got any pals on the Supreme Court
Dirty deeds done dirt cheap..well..about 12 dollars fifty and a bottle of Kool-Aid will seal the deal!
Who is THAT on the rooftop over there? hey you, secret service man..get them..please..don't ig..
Ooops! Shortest Administration in History..blink and miss it!

 

by moogwa
1-30-04
This is not IMAX
Wonder if he could get me a hotdog and coke with this movie experience?
badeep..whirrr...take your seat...blip
A higher authority arrives on the scene...
you're the manager? .of what?..i feel that i have been misled..how about a refund..i coulda gone and seen Torque..ahem!
ook ook..prepare for Warp Jump..ook!
so on etc...Et Al
Oooer..*burp*..my lunch...good job you got that face mask...*Hic*
I have worked with greats like Mark Wahlberg and now i am reduced to this...an artists lot is not a happy one *sigh*

 

by moogwa
1-31-04
Late night in Chokesville Penitentiary
Back in the day..i was third Cylon from the left...i had all the best lines..i'm tellin ya
yada yada..
Now..they got that weird Blonde bitch in and now look...doing stir time...oh where is the Imperious Leader?
She is quite hot..mmm
I'm reduced to the role of temporary egg whisk...i can't take it..*sob*
Did i hear that Starbuck's a girl...cool...now i'm not gay anymore..salvation arrives.

 

by moogwa
9-26-05
Not Caring.....NOT sharing
Dayammn, this is just like Oz..so cool.
3000 nights to go....*sigh*
A promising offer
hey, any chance you could kinda hit me real hard and them make me yo bitch?? Sweet daddio.
like i am THAT needy....mind you i could sell him for a pack of smokes...Mmmm!
Not tonight, Josephine...(his later to be determined prison bitch name!)
okkkk....the strong and silent type....i needs me an owner with conversation skills
That beer does look good....wonder who he blew for that??

 

by moogwa
9-26-05
Too many programmers in the world..
so...i was like...*BLAH*...the codes to the bank system,,,*MORE BLAH*
Will this be like the Visual Basic guy i hacked up last week??
*waffle*..my money stashed in Switzerland...only i know the codes *smug*...life of luxury.
Yeah..HORRIFIC TORTURE FOR DUMMIES...this prison library is the best yet.
i bet i can get a date if i pay one with many zeros after it...hehee...*smug, self assured wit*
Mmmm...dimension to volume relativity...yeah, the head'll fit.

 

by moogwa
9-26-05
Ahh Sweet Romance....
Yahh...i sooo don't do weird and kinky...that Manson guy is into some mad shit
Kinda like the whole goth thing,,,,not killed a goth yet
0800 Style
I like flowers..tell ya what...i'll let ya scream out your mother's name when you explode inside my ass...waddya say?
...mother??...ass...now that is wayyy too much to think about...*wistful sigh*
....Ah well..plenty more numbers in the magazine.
i like what you have done with the place...Martha Stewart would approve
Martha fuckin' Stewart....now you gone and pushed me over the edge..

 

by moogwa
9-26-05
On-board the Lurrrrve Boat
yeah..i can see how being dead would kill the romance a little, kinda limit the market.
ohh....it's National State The Obvious Day...asswipe!
But i know a few chicks, in cabin 666, that are into the whole necro gig....i'll hook you up
great...moody feckers that have seen the Crow a 1000 times and are never happy...pass me the phone...NOT!!
Hey, i offered....always ya pal here.
I need a magazine...CreamButtPie Swimsuit Special i think.

 

by moogwa
9-26-05
The crowd goes wild.....
...and Hitler went Nein, Nein..and i went no, i just came for you...HEHEE!!
*clap*...*shuffle*
all 3 of em'
...i just came for you..hehe *he*..ok, Nein means...
Get off, your crap!
make that 2 of em'
Fine...get up, yer dead!
*Gulp*

 

by moogwa
9-26-05
OooH...tough crowd!
I got one for ya...anybody hear the one about Al Capone and the male hooker?
*Ahem*
(Annual Mafia bus trip to see a comedy gig is in tonight)
No? ok, Jimmy Hoffa walks into a bar and...
WADDAFUCK??....*sound of phones dialing*..shit and capiche...you gonna be sleeping wid da fishes, funny guy.
So did the FBI!!
*whispers* can't be any worse than your momma...
we heard dat *guns being cocked*...concrete shoes for you fella!

 

by moogwa
9-26-05
It's a Hen Night....tread carefully
....The blonde climbed....chain link fence...see what was on other side...HAHAA!
*Harummphh*..Feckin' knobhead!
Clown shoes, blindfold...MINEFIELD!!
Hello Madam, is that the remains of your date dripping down your inside leg...HEHEEE
Muthafu...*sound of riot commencing*
Everyone's a critic these days!
*Gulp*...*CRUNCH*
Come on girls...off to the pub..*cheers*

 

by moogwa
9-26-05
It's Comedy and BBQ Night
hehee...yeah, i read the bible and it reads like fight club...Satan gets his ass WHUPPED, yeah...righton!!
This guy's fucked, i am going home..
You hear rumbling??
...and more like a fallen fairy than fallen angel....man, i am smokin' tonite.
*sound of chairs scraping and people rushing out* BYEEEE, DOOMED BOY..
...popular topics for comedy Vol1
Eeek!
You want chips with...OH, i'll eat your burger then..*chomp*

 

by moogwa
9-26-05
Everyone gets a go...
i am funny really...i need props, a bike, a custard pie and a...
A CLUE!!
But some shouldn't...
hey, come on...everyone loves a clown, remember the days when you....
I had nightmares about clowns...wait...i still do...you muthafu *sound of gun being cocked*...prop THIS!!
Awww Fu..
£300 an hour...four marriages and a sex change, all down to clowns, grrr *sniff*

 

by moogwa
9-26-05
A bit of political comedy..
...and so, i like George..he is such a dork...i mean like many friends can you have on the Supreme Court at once huh?...yeah, hehee.
??
No, not the present administration!
hey, freedom of speech man, i am like a patriot, act your...
fucker...lost job, home and dog....thanks Dubya...Grrr...c'mere you..
Justice served
This sooo blows, ouch, stop pulling my hair...wahhh!
Hey, this is the best shit all night....come on, kick his not so funny ass!

 

by moogwa
9-27-05
Dum dum dum de dum.....
....*WHirrr*...KILL JOHN CONNOR...and Sarah said no, i'll suck your oil can if you spare him...Hehee
*Zzzzzzzz*...wassay?
*buzz* and i am like, i am not THAT cheap, waitress has-been, hahaha....*ok*
feels like the end of the world to me...*sob*
...mmm...does not compute....that was my best material...rolling in the aisles...
fuck off back to the Wizard of OZ...jeez

 

by moogwa
11-05-05
Logic Processes
All the greats had some error in their programming.
*beep* Like who...err..or what?
Vol. 101
Umm,..HAL is the obvious one..lemme see..the dude on the Nostromo...Agent Smith
Anyone tell this nutbag they were not real?
Yes..just because i want to murder my maker does not classify me as mad...just misunderstood!
I soo need an oilbath...and a some joint alignment from that cute waste disposal unit...*sigh*

 

by moogwa
11-05-05
Never turn away a gift....
Okk...i never get mail..but this lovely shiny rocket from the ACME CO. arrived...just gotta try it out!
*sigh*...if i had got on the damn thing like the letter suggested then i woulda been toast...i smell a conspiracy to avert my rightful place as the head of the robot nation
eh? I don't recall leaving that door open...an assassin awaits to kill me..a mission of the highest merit....I SHALL NOT FALL TO THE MONEY MASTERS, grrrr!!

 

Alas...
Remember, remember, the 5th of November...
by moogwa, 11-24-05

 

i like sooo respect your right to scrape a living but that is sooo last season!!
??..****
by moogwa, 11-24-05

 

The Spice of life etc etc
*sigh*
dude, that is like sooo gross, i am not saying no, i just need to look it up...get yourself ready and i'll be right back, ok hun?
by moogwa, 11-24-05

 

If a job's worth doing....
ok, got it already. Steal Heart of Ocean, batter old lady to death and...and...??
Brutally murder DiCaprio...big bonus for that...extra big...HUGE!
by moogwa, 11-24-05

 

To inspire
I am your new physio and motivator, we can do this....now come on you little shit, drop to the floor and gimme ten...NOW!
by moogwa, 11-24-05

 

No shit, Sherlock!
Ok...this would be one of those wrong party moments...
by moogwa, 11-24-05

 

Shit...423 bullet holes, dude looks like Swiss cheese
Mmm, cheese...wine, cheese and women
by moogwa, 11-24-05

 

More Spice..
Oh..sorry
Dude, we have done Xena the last five times we hooked up...i need something new...can't i be Xena this time??
by moogwa, 11-24-05

 

New Horizons
variety in murder is always good, not butchered the Amish before...i'll try anything once...wonder if they got cable?
by moogwa, 11-24-05

 

Closing...
??
That fuckin' dinosaur gave me nightmares for ever...someone got to him first but you'll do i guess....i need closure!!
by moogwa, 11-24-05

 

Points make prizes
I will soo score HUGE points with the man downstairs with this one...lemme see, dealing with armed victims...ah yes..
by moogwa, 11-24-05

 

I am no easy lay and besides, your career nosedived after Return of the Jedi...Loooserrrr!
??
by moogwa, 11-24-05

 

?? You trying to poach on my turf, Fluffy?....Fuckin' bring it....
by moogwa, 11-24-05

 

Yeah, the 5th movie where we meet and beat God sucked ass...but i am the unknown crewman on the landing party and that sucks so much more...
Waddeva
by moogwa, 11-24-05

 

On Principle
I canna do it, Captain...not on a first date...
*Harrumph*
by moogwa, 11-24-05

 

Going against the grain
Dude, like be a sport...this is my hobby, i live for DIY
by moogwa, 11-24-05

 

Mmm,,,if Grissom is on the case then i am screwed....ooohh, i have come all over all weak
by moogwa, 11-24-05

 

Get dressed in the dark, dude?
Roll up, roll up, meet your miserable bastard here..one day only, he'll commit suicide tomorrow...with any luck!
by moogwa, 11-24-05

 

everyone's a critic
Saying i have no comedy career before i have even started is a bit rash, doncha think?
by moogwa, 11-24-05

 

Things in common...
Purple is sooo my favourite colour...say, you have nice eyes, handsome..*wink*
*Gulp*
by moogwa, 11-24-05

 

Making Sacrfices...
You are so metal... i could like give up my job and like worship you....we could be sooo good together, waddya say??
Fuckin' asswipe
by moogwa, 11-24-05

 

Maybe....one more victim!
All dead...no more victims....*sigh*...never any funs for me
HAH...i like so dig your post destruction expression piece, man...so coool...but not!
by moogwa, 4-03-06

 

Some things are just wrong
Hey...old fella from the woods...is this your cat?
Dayammn..sure is...that is the only piece of pussy i had for ten years...come here, lover!
by moogwa, 4-03-06

 

Chips with that?
oh my...they are so gonna eat me...
well..your ol' cunny will drive them away,,,we are truly saved...hurrah!
by moogwa, 4-03-06

 

Anyone see my Umbrella?
The one zombie film that was meant to be funny and now no one takes the genre seriously anymore
um...yeah...but the chick from Res-Evil is so hot...i would so do her!
by moogwa, 4-03-06

 

Always someone worse off..
I can't even get a bit part in a teen slasher flick...back to scrubbing pans.
Fuck you...i get typecast all the time...i blame that bloody irishman!
by moogwa, 4-03-06

 

Take one for the team
Ok..two series..seven films...a cop show..and a legal comedy drama..YEP...i am gonna kill you for the sake of decent TV
Oh...man...you forgot TekWar...how could you forget that cyber-cultural masterpiece?...*harrumph*
by moogwa, 4-03-06

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