All comics by mrbun

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by mrbun
10-04-04
Do you know what really sucks?
Vacuums?
Alright...do you know what metaphorically sucks?
Black holes?
Do you know what just isn't cool? ................................... I hate you.
Ice Cubes?

 

by mrbun
10-04-04
Say Sam, could you pass me o'er a little bit o' some of that bean dip?
MY UNCLE BOUGHT ME A HOOKER WHEN I WAS 4!!
What is a hooker?
It's a fishing pole. You hook in fish with it.
I would like to buy a hooker. I've never been fishing.
I love my friends.

 

by mrbun
10-04-04
There you are, Jesus. Just the guy I was looking for.
What do you want Satan?
Well, it seems as if you are messiah to a doomed world that kills in your name. Really, why would you want to save humanity?
Because...well...err..I guess..the Lord works in mysteri....you know..
Shut up Jesus, you'll wake up Aleister Crowley.
He was right, this is a whole lot better! (Now if only someone would get me down from this fucking piece of wood.)

 

by mrbun
10-04-04
The makers of this comic strip would like to apologize unreservedly for the previous strip. It was in poor taste and was likely to offend our vast Christian audience.
I agree. It was so blasphemous, that if the blasphemy level was put into a bar graph, it would go right up to Heaven and poke God right in the ass.
Now that's exactly what I'm talking about. Since that last panel, your bar graph has gone even further, raping God in the asshole.
...and he likes it!
Oh good goddamn. I'm sorry, we'll be kosher next time. I swear.
And now it's going through his brain. (And he still likes it!)

 

by mrbun
10-04-04
Why do you wear a tight shirt?
What?
Why do you wear such a tight shirt? Are you trying to make a point?
Yes. I'm trying to make two if my nipples are hard.
I think I'm going to go drown myself in a bucket.
There'd better be room in there for two...

 

by mrbun
10-04-04
Well, looking to the elections it seems as though Kerry and Bush are still in a stalemate.
You know what else is a stalemate?
No, what?
An Australian with rigor mortis.
I'm going to sell you to a vivisectionist.
You say that, but on the inside you love it.

 

by mrbun
10-04-04
And now moving to consumer news, popular battery company Energizer was forced to recall some toy bunnies today for fear of choking hazards amongst youngsters.
Yes, Janet, I've learned from my experience in the church that children can't be trusted not to choke on anything furry they are given.
You are the most despicable person I have ever met. Why in heaven's name did I ever agree to do the news with you?
It's all part of your plea bargain.
Don't remind me.
You know, I once had an Energizer Bunny, but I put the batteries in backwards. It kept coming and coming and coming...

 

by mrbun
10-04-04
Ringo Starr arrived in Mexico today for a show with his All-Starr Band...
...but he left after people kept calling him "Gringo Starr."
Jesus, that's the third newscast you've fucked up today! Why did you decide to become a newscaster anyway?
Well, I was trying to get a job as a gynacologist, but I couldn't find any openings.
I need a drink. *sigh*
I need to drink, you need to drink, we all need to drink. It's called hydration. It's what seperates us from the ameoba.

 

by mrbun
10-04-04
And now, once again, our attention turns to world news.
But first, Janet, I must ask you a question. What's red, screams, and moves at 9.8 meters per second squared?
What?
A banker jumping out of the World Trade Center.
That's it, I quit.
What's wrong? Too scientific?

 

by mrbun
10-04-04
Knock knock.
I said, knock knock.
*sigh* I miss Janet.

 

by mrbun
10-04-04
Pun once more, just once more, and I will rip your scrotum off and feed it to the starving children in Ethiopia.
I swear to God and all that is holy, if you say one more pun I will kill you and make a series of festive handbags from your remains.
*sigh* I miss Scott.

 

by mrbun
10-04-04
Hey Scott, I just called to see what you've been doing.
Well, I found out why Hitler crossed the road. (The on-switch was on the other side.)
*awkward silence*
*awkward silence*
Moral: every joke needs its foil.
I love you, Scott.
I love you too, Janet.

 

by mrbun
12-13-04
Howdy there! What's shakin'?
Ian Curtis.
Who?
Lead singer of Joy Division. He was epileptic and prone to seizures at concerts.
You know, that's why I never invite you Pitchfork journalists to dinner. You're such bad company.
You know what else is Bad Company? Free after 1973.

 

by mrbun
12-13-04
Mr. Terrapin, I need a pair of scissors.
Sorry Wheelchair Jimmy, but I'm afraid I don't have any.
Can't I just go somewhere and find a pair?
No, Wheelchair Jimmy, I think that'll take too long.
But I could just walk out the...I mean...I could just roll out the door and find some. Cuz, you know, I can't walk...
I love it when cripples realize they're cripples.

 

by mrbun
12-13-04
Hey man, your teeth.
My teeth? I've got a lot of them. What the hell are you talking about?
Yeah, they're a little...yellow.
Hey man, your face. It's a little...brown.

 

by mrbun
2-24-05
So man, you watch the game last night?
Yeah, man. What team you rooting for?
The Cleveland Indians, man.
Raj, nobody likes Indians.
....
THE TEAM! I MEAN THE TEAM. Sorry man. I forget when I'm being racist sometimes.

 

by mrbun
2-24-05
Are you pro or anti?
Pro or anti what?
Anything. If you're for one thing, you're for everything.
That is the worst logic I have ever heard. I can't be both pro-life and pro-choice.
What? You want to kill people?
Go back to India, you fucking curry jockey.

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