All comics by nalsa

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by nalsa
1-11-01
I need to remember something, but what?
Do you need anything nailing up anywhere?
Did I need something nailing up?
Do you need anything hammered into a wall?
Did I need anything hammered into a wall?
Do you need to remember something?

 

by nalsa
1-11-01
Ow! Owowowowowowow! I had an accident, can you help?
Hey, anything you humans do to reduce the population is fine by me.
But we created you! You must help me!
Was I dumb enough to stick a nail in my head?
Well, I can't argue with that...
Want me to push it in further?

 

by nalsa
1-11-01
Beans, bread, milk, teabags...
I wonder if I left the gas on?
And that's what goes through the minds of other people when they're walking down the street.
Shit! Where have my genitals gone?

 

by nalsa
1-11-01
Hey, mister, are you _really_ a cowboy?
No... I'm actually a wizard in disguise...
I don't believe you. Where's your horse?
*shazam*
Bollocks...

 

by nalsa
1-11-01
I'm being haunted by subliminal messages.
Shit, he's on to me. And he has a knife!
I can't take them anymore!
Ok! Ok! I'm sorry! I didn't mean anything!
How have you been subliminally telling me to stop sniffing my armpits?
Oh, no. Mine were about the hammer. Oh... crap.

 

by nalsa
1-11-01
Mmm... this looks good...
And now, on Celebrity Deathmatch...
Waitaminute, these are clay models.
... Wallace and Grommit vs. Morph and Chad...
I knew Nick Park was getting too big for his boots...
... and we're thumbing our noses at the Grim Reaper, Chris...

 

by nalsa
1-11-01
Hey, honey, when you told me you were going to take me away from all this, I didn't realise you were abducting me...
What, you thought this was a "Pretty Woman" thing? Muhahahaha!
So, what bizzare things are you going to do to me?
Now don't panic, I just want to sit & chat with you about your culture.
Oh, right. Well, we have two principal ideologies on this planet, roughly divided into -
I was actually talking about your yeast infections, but never mind.

 

by nalsa
1-11-01
Oh my GOD!!!... My ex-wife has just died.
I'd better cheer him up...
is this a good thing or a bad thing?
Cool! So are we throwing a party?
No! I'm going to kill you for suggesting such a horrible thing!
Holy Crap!!!... apparently, I'm your ex-wife!

 

by nalsa
1-11-01
It isn't porn, it's high art!
Right. Nekkid wimmin being painted by a bunch of students is art. Right.
...nekkid wimmin...
...nekkid wimmin...
No, you're right, it is porn.
What are you taking about, it's high art, man!

 

by nalsa
1-12-01
No... no water down there...
I fixed the spaceship, boss. Now what?
Have you seen any water on this planet? That's one of the prerequisites for life.
Yeah, there's a big lake just on the other side of those mountains!
Damnit, Bob, that wasn't funny the first hundred times you said that.
Yeah, but you need the exercise.

 

by nalsa
1-12-01
*grunt*
Damn, that curry was hot...
And so, nalsa becomes the first to make a farting joke with the fire prop.
Oh, crap.

 

by nalsa
1-12-01
What have I told you about chewing your nails? Don't you ever listen to me?
I've got to tell her...
And another thing, your room is.. blah blah blah blah blah...
Mom, I'm gay.
How you can be happy with your fingernails in that state is beyond me. What else is beyond me is... blah blah...
Oh, for goodness' sake...

 

by nalsa
1-16-01
Perhaps my son isn't as happy as I thought he was...
Mom, I'm not _happy_, I'm _gay_!
Maybe I shouldn't have stopped him sucking his thumb when he was younger...
Are you even listening to me?
Oh, look, that's where he widdled on the carpet when he was two...
Mother, I'm going to live with a clown named Mr. Bobo. Hello?

 

by nalsa
1-16-01
What do you mean, you're running off with some pervert called Mr. Bobo?
Perhaps she's taking this badly...
Don't you get enough attention at home?
Maybe I should have broken it to her a bit more gently...
I cared for you for twenty years, and this is how you repay me?
I guess telling her about all that S&M gear would be a bad thing right now...

 

by nalsa
1-17-01
These aren't the droids you're looking for.
Move along... move along...

 

by nalsa
1-26-01
Mmm. This says we have won lots of money. Should we phone this premium rate number?
Oh, I hope one day he'll figure it out...
This one says we've won a holiday in the Carribean. We just need to pay for flights and accommodation.
... or he'll be sorely disappointed...
Oh! and this one is from our loan shark. He says he'll be round at 3 to break our legs.
Phone that first number. Now.

 

by nalsa
3-13-01
Hey, what do you think of those efront ICQ logs?
I know nothing about them.
Hey, what do you think of "All your base?"
I know nothing about it.
Hey, what do you think of that prozac stuff the doc gave you?
I know nothing about it.

 

by nalsa
6-27-01
It's a fantastic day out here. Stop moping.
I have far too much on my mind.
Such as?
Why my feet are melting.
Tell me, did you eat some mushrooms...
... bought from a llama with a bad toupee? You did too?

 

by nalsa
8-14-01
...so I said, "Take my bitch, please" Hahahahaha!
Goddamm, what does it take to get you people to laugh these days?

 

by nalsa
8-18-01
There's an advert for sweets that is such a rip of AYBABTU.
... and?
I was thinking about how much it has passed into pop culture.
... and?
It saddens me to think that advertisers think that AYB is the cutting edge, 6 months after anyone who matters thinks it's lame.
Ah, it probably took them that long to convert it into Powerpoint.

 

by nalsa
1-08-02
If you loved me, you'd swallow!
Glub flub flub glub glug
Oh, I'm sorry, honey! I forgot about the breathing underwater thing!

 

by nalsa
1-08-02
I wonder if snowmen go to hell when they melt?
Obviously not....

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