All comics by nexen

 

The Final Hallucinations of Jesus by nexen 1-27-04
The various drugs Jesus was on were beginning to wear off, but the visuals were still strong. Fuck, im really fucking fucked. I am the High Angel Dogonball. I am here, in my green speedos and gay star-top, to warn you that you may be dying.	Dogonball's words shocked Jesus considerably. Was it true? Was Jesus the Invincible actually... dying?? Only time will tell... Whoa these hallucinations are deeeeep, maan I am the voice of God. You are not dying. Sit tight ill brb k?	Hallucinating God sent Jesus' mind spinning. What was next? Was the trip going to gain intensity? Oh shit, I think I'm beginning to feel the fear... Hello, I am here. But I cannot hear. For I have feet in my ears. And now I'm going to use my feet (the ones in my ears, not on my legs) to trample you (horizontally) to death. k thx bye jesus.

 

Template Talk by nexen 2-04-04
Hey, imagine reading this on mushrooms! Hmm I'm rather stoned	Hope he hasn't noticed ive hidden the rest of his shit in my top hat Whoa, yeah.... Or acid!	Whoa. Yeah. Stupid fucking dinosaur.

 

Dealer Squirrel (1) by nexen 2-04-04
Hey dude Heres your O. That'll be 160 quid matey	K. Can i give the money to you tomorrow? k cool	The next day... I had your money dude but some black guy offered me sex for 160 quid, and I couldn't pass up the offer ur a dick

 

Dealer Squirrel (2) by nexen 2-04-04
Crack? Anybody want to buy crack? Hmm, im tempted to make a purchase from this squirrel, but if I do, then I won't have any money left over to buy candy	Hey kid... Crack is whack, wanna buy a rock? It good shit, gets you high, gets you high Ok heres some money. My crackwhore instincts tell me to get crack rather than marsbar	34 pence? You wanna buy 34 pence of fucking crack? Are you a complete moron, kid? Wank, I shouldn't have spent 60 quid on those shrooms... Now I can't afford to buy crack off of this imaginary squirrel...

 

Dealer Squirrel (3) by nexen 2-04-04
Hmm what a retard I know what you're thinking, Squirrel, and NO! I don't want to buy any drugs!	Um.. Nice Sign. Do you always follow that lame ass rule? Thats right, and as a result my soul remains pure. I don't need drugs to enjoy life! There are plenty of other ways - just look at my cool flower shirt.	Um, ok, fuckwit. Do you want me to go away and not sell you any drugs? Be sure to check the sign before answering. Damn you, evil squirrel of drug distribution! May your soul rot in the everlasting fiery pits of hell! Oh and I'll take 17 ounces please.

 

Dealer Squirrel (4) by nexen 2-04-04
Meanwhile, somewhere in the depths of Dealer Squirrel's mind... Whoa I think this acid is kicking in... Hello. Would you like a tour of MS Word?	Um, no thanks. Would you like to buy some drugs? Who the fucking hell tries to sell a paperclip drugs?	Listen, junky - either buy my shit or I'll tell Mr Gates you've been shooting up on the job You win this time, Dealer Squirrel. But one day we paperclips will fight back against you manipulative drug-dealing squirrels!

 

Dealer Squirrel (5) by nexen 2-04-04
You Dealer Squirrel, pal? I'm not, no.	Are you sure? You seem to be pretty well off for a crummy grey squirrel - with the jewelry & expensive cars and such, pal. I play the stock market.	Ahh I see. You must be pretty good, huh, pal? Buying low, selling high, and all that? Yeah guess so. But I normally buy high, and sell when I'm even higher.

 

Timmy's Terrible Memory: Dad by nexen 2-04-04
Meet Timmy Dad?? Dad, whens dinner?	Timmy has no daddy Dad? You there?	But Timmy was misformed on the matter You assfungus - I killed your dad right in front of you, made you eat his brain, and replace his testicles with his eyeballs. Did you forget or something? Oh yeah. Oops, lol! I've been standing here for ages calling him - rofl! I'm such a fucktard.

 

Timmy's Terrible Memory: Necrophilia by nexen 2-04-04
Meet Timmy Hmm where the god damn am I?	Timmy doesn't know why he's in the graveyard Hmm I've got some grave mud on my hands and penis. That was the worst lay ever!	But its probably because he forgot he enjoys fucking corpses Ohmygod! That corpse just spoke! That's reaaally fucked up! wanker

 

Timmy's Terrible Memory: Oops I'm a criminal by nexen 2-04-04
Meet Timmy There goes the memory again.	Timmy doesn't know why he's in prison I demand to know why I'm in jail! Because you got down 'n funky with one of those dirty dead slags in the graveyard.	Timmy remembered what he did, and suddenly got a huge hard-on Whoa Take me if you must. Just... be gentle.

 

Timmy's Terrible Memory: Jailbreak by nexen 2-04-04
Meet Timmy Ahh WTF?!???11?? Kuuubamm n shit	Timmy survived a big explosion Who the hell are you? My name is Ejaculating Jack. I've just blown a hole in the wall so we can escape.	But Timmy forgot one thing... Ooh yeah shit, I was in jail. Cheers dude... But why did you help me? Because you promised me sex.

 

Timmy's Terrible Memory: A Painful thing to Forget by nexen 2-04-04
Meet Timmy Um, I don't like where this is going.	He has a vague, deeply disturbing, idea of why he might be in the bedroom Its ok Timmy, you're home safe, this is your room fuckwit.	Timmy is relieved, until... Phew, I thought I was in the bedroom of that dirty old man Ejaculating Jack. Don't worry, you havn't been around to his bedroom since last tuesday.

 

Timmy's Terrible Memory: Something Important by nexen 2-05-04
Meet Timmy Hmm Ummm	Timmy's Forgotten what he was going to do Oh! Nope thats not it...	Oops, Timmy's in a bit of a pickle Oh yeah! I was about to take my medication - the one that my life depends on. Oh, crap.

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