All comics by outre

 

the dating game by outre 7-04-01
bobby loves children, kittens, puppies, and happy little bunnies...		...for dinner.

 

the love that dare not speak its name by outre 7-04-01
i'm afraid i can't network with you, zartac. the motherboard would never have it. we come from two different operating systems, you and i.	i understand. maybe some day...when our systems will be more compatible with one another, we'll be together. i'll go now.	*sigh* now where did that sweet piece of imac i saw earlier run off to...?

 

fashion faux pas by outre 7-05-01
oh no no no no NO. honey, WHAT did you wake up wearing this morning? i-i don't know...it's what i usually-	i mean, REALLY! talk about "attention kmart shoppers, there's a bluelight special on 'eww' in aisle 3!" ARMAND! get this child some real clothes, for god's sake, and chop chop, i have a pedicure at 3.	there. now isn't that better? thank GOD we found you in time to save you. you're sure it's my color? i'm more of a "summer."

 

and you are the wind beneath my wings by outre 7-05-01
did you ever know that you're my heeeeroooo....	...you're everything i would like to beeee...	...i can fly higher than an- i'm STILL going to eat you and your children, you know.

 

fat pants by outre 7-06-01
i can't believe this. don't talk to me, i can't even look at you.	i feel so betrayed. it's like i don't even know you.	you knew those pants made me look fat, armand. i said i was sorry!

 

psycho by outre 7-06-01
well, the washer is broken again. i suppose i'll have to take a load of laundry down to the laundromat...		honestly, mother, i wish you'd let just one repair guy finish his job before ordering me to kill him.

 

jail bait by outre 7-06-01
	SHE'S EIGHTEEN, I *SWEAR!*

 

the birds and the bees by outre 7-06-01
mommy, i have a question. what is it?	where do babies come from?	hell.

 

snacktime in hell by outre 7-06-01
have you seen my puppy? ...	well, have you?	oh HONESTLY! that's the third time this week! i uh...sort of ate him.

 

multiplicity by outre 7-08-01
maybe this wasn't such a good idea.	yeah, that last one came out	especially fucked up. did you bring me a monkey?

 

awww by outre 7-08-01
did you hear the one about the seagull that wouldn't fly over the bay?	he didn't want to be a "bay-gull." get it? a "bagel?"	i'm so terribly lonely.

 

the crocodile hunter by outre 7-08-01
here we are, in the wild outback, stalking the elusive Central Park Bench Squirrel. i'm steve irwin, crocodile hunter.	this wild and HIGHLY tempermantal beast is rumored to carry every disease from rabies to syphilis.	join me as i put him in my pants, and attempt to hit him with an aluminum bat.

 

al roker - weatherman, tv personality, love god. by outre 7-10-02
how many times do i have to tell you...?	look - we've talked about this already. it just wasn't meant to be.	i don't care. can i help it if that damned al roker makes me feel that...special kind of squishy inside?

 

honesty by outre 7-10-02
it's not me, it's you. ME?! what the hell do you mean it's ME, you lousy piece of garbage?! THIS is how you repay me for putting up with your crap for almost a year?!	i mean where the hell do you get off saying yap yap yap yap yap yap yappity yap yap yap oodle schmoodle...	see what i mean? and ANOTHER thing mr. "i spend 2 hours every morning to get the front of my hair to flip like this"...wait...it IS me, isn't it?

 

a message brought to you by my raging premenstrual hormones by outre 7-10-02
just leave it alone. but she's completely WRONG. her argument hasn't got a leg to stand on! it barely makes SENSE.	look, do what you want, but i wouldn't go anywhere near her with that "sense" crap you're peddling for the next four or five days. didn't nostradamus make some kind of prophecy about a demon that can bleed for five days and not die?	*RAAAWRR* TIFFY WANT ICE CREAM!

 

he who laughs last, thinks slowest. by outre 7-10-02
well, doctor? hmm...to be honest, i don't know what your problem is, but i'll bet it's real hard to pronounce.	what about all the tests and stuff that you ran? you couldn't figure out anything? nope and nope.	you know, i thought it was pretty weird that a chronic migraine sufferer would need a colonoscopy. someday we'll look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject.

 

i think so, anyway. by outre 7-11-02
power corrupts, you know.		ABSOLUTE power is kind of neat, though.

 

graargh by outre 7-11-02
my brother asked me to babysit his two year old daughter today. i haven't seen her in months, i wonder if she's gotten any bigger.	i think that's them pulling up, now. this should be so much fun! i've got crayons, and stickers, and...	i think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot. *arrghmrmmfrgrh* STEPHY WANT CANDY!!

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