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| A recent poll shows that 97% of the people feel we spend too much time kissing the a... er, covering celebrities... | |
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| ... But we disagree! Celebrities are much more important than genocide... starvation... death... | |
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| ... If you've seen one bombed- out city, you've seen 'em all! Besides... | |
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| ... Without celebrities, how would we gauge the meaninglessness and insignificance of our own lives? So... | |
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| As long as WE control the airwaves and the sheep... er, people keep tuning in, our motto is... | |
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| ... Don't worry, be happy! | |
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